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oomisParticipant
Dr. P. we will miss you for sure.
For what ails us you oft have the cure.
So don’t stray too far;
Your leaving the CR,
Is more than we can endure.
oomisParticipantHi, Be Lucky. I hope you will also be happy. Welcome to our den of antiquity (for those of us who are here a lo-o-o-o-o-ng time).
April 1, 2012 7:31 pm at 7:31 pm in reply to: Are these young women nuts, selfish, out of it or something else? #865132oomisParticipantAPY, doing one mitzvah does not mean you should not do another one. I do not wish to bash anyone, but just because someone does chessed in large measure, does not exempt that person from other aspects of common menschlechkeit. I am MOST impressed with my friend’s son, a married man with three children, who spent five years learning in E”Y in a choshuve Yeshivah, then remained in Kollel and continues learning, BUT when he sees me, he makes a point fo coming over to me to ask me how my family and I are doing, will open a door for me, and is MOST appreciative if I would do the same for him. being a yeshivah bochur did not change his middos tovos, and it should not change it for anyone else, either. Unless they never had good middos to begin with.
oomisParticipantLove your post Oomis”
Thank you. Always nice to hear that! 🙂
oomisParticipantoomis, great posts. All of them”
Kind of you to say so. Thank you.
oomisParticipantit does exist and not all women are the angels they present themselves to be.”
Most are…
oomisParticipantGo to your parents the first days, and your inlaws the last days. This way, when you show up all the hard work is already done. And on motzei yontiff when there is all sorts of work to do, nobody gets mad at you for slinking off because you are a son-in-law (or daughter in law). “
I did go to my parents for the entire yom tov every year until the last five before they were niftar (and those five years they came to me, instead). My husband and I came to them a day early,brought all the dishes and keilim down from the attic, and turned over the kitchen for my mom. We helped cook, set the table, serve and take away the dishes, and watched our kids ourselves and kept them playing quietly, so my parents could rest in the afternoons. I don’t think we could be accused of slacking off. yes, it CAN be done!
oomisParticipantIt’s official — we like Wolf.
oomisParticipantMy only objection is to the loudness of the music. I never liked it, even when I was in my 20s. I have a friend who told the orchestra that if they did not turn down the volume, she wasn’t paying them. They did, and it really was MUCH more enjoyable.
I ahve a slight hearing problem at this stage of life, so if the music is too loud for ME (And maybe that’s how I developed the hearing problem…), then it is probably WAY to loud for everyone else, especially and including nebbich, the babies whose parents brought them there.
oomisParticipantYes, SOME women might overplay their pregnancies, but the VAST, VAST majority of women are not trying to belabor (pun intended) the issue. They would much prefer not to feel so bone-tired all the time (and it is usually worse with subsequent pregnancies, because now they also have their first children to take care of at the same time as being pregnant). Some women sail through their pregnancies. Others, do not. And it is unfair to make light of the incredible changes that the body undergoes. men have absolutely no idea. They think of the labor as being THE issue, but really it is a 9 month long process, ranging from moderately uncomfortable, to excruciatingly painful, and even chalilah life-threatening. There is a reason why a man must bensch gomeil for his wife after she gives birth. It is also the reason why the mitzvah of pru urvu is on the men and not the women, because the sakanas nefashos is on the woman.
Women should not milk things for all their worth, but give us ladies a break, willya? If men had to have the babies, there probably would be no more than one per family. 😉
oomisParticipantThanks, you guys. And then I want to talk to you about that poperty in Florida that I am selling.
March 30, 2012 9:56 pm at 9:56 pm in reply to: Are these young women nuts, selfish, out of it or something else? #865123oomisParticipantdon’t do it for the thank you. don’t even expect it. Just do what you should be doing”
Well that goes without saying, but that does not excuse bulvanim who have no manners. “Thank you,” should be the first thing the Middos Morahs teach their students, just in case the parents have failed in that regard.
oomisParticipantIt IS. And when it is cold, you would think you were eating fish, so maybe it is NOT such a good idea, in case someone forgets he is fleishig now, after eating it… 🙁
oomisParticipantAries, if you are still lurking here, please say hello. I miss your posts.
March 30, 2012 7:47 pm at 7:47 pm in reply to: Are these young women nuts, selfish, out of it or something else? #865119oomisParticipantNot to say thank you is appallingly bad manners, I don’t care WHO it is that fails to say those two words. If you cannot recognize and be makir tov to a human being for the tiny chessed he or she does for you, how can you properly be makir tov to haKadosh Boruch Hu, who is constantly doing major acts of chessed for us every single day?
oomisParticipantNo spring cleaning, rearranging house, but THOROUGH Pesach cleaning.”
Agreed.
oomisParticipantI tell them the truth, that a) I do not recall ever pledging $100 to anyone, because I don’t have it and b) send me an envelope, and if I am able to I will try to send SOMEthing. The more they try to pin me down to a number, the less inclined I am to give to them. I get that people have to raise funds, but derech eretz should come before they make that call.
oomisParticipantWhy does everyone understand the poor hormonal wife, who’s going through so much, and not the poor husband-of-a-hormonal-wife, who has to put up with her”
Wah, wah, wah! If you don’t understand why we are more sympathetic to the woman whose body is literally no longer her own, who in 9 months will try to pass a watermelon through a keyhole in a most painful way, who is constantly exhausted, whose life revolves around where the next clean restroom might be, and so nauseated that it might literally make her sick to smell food cooking, much less to cook it, then there is nothing to say.
Good luck.
oomisParticipantFalsche fish is literally false fish (gefilte style), made from chicken meatballs prepared and cooked as if they were gefilte fish. Grated onions, carrots, salt and pepper are mixed with ground chicken, and the balls are dropped into boiling water prepared exactly as you would for your gefilte fish. I have made this occasionally (not for Pesach, per se, because I eat fish on Pesach), and it really is delicious, and truly VERY close to gefilte fish when served cold (and with chrein).
oomisParticipantAnd it is a great stomach soother. Sodium Bicarbonate.
oomisParticipantI think everyone is getting a little overheated here. Bottom line, cshapiro, Pesach should not make you feel this panicky, but clearly it does. The key to that, when you cannot get cleaning help (and I have rarely had it myself, for financial reasons)is to do PESACH cleaning, not Spring cleaning. It isn’t easy, but it isn’t the torture of Torquemada, either. Our mindset in this is crucial. I made up my mind a long time ago to look at Pesach as a chance to feel like I am moving into a completely new house for eight days. Maybe if you can find something pleasant about the preparations to focus on, rather than the drudgery you dread, you will find it less anxiety-provoking. I do understand.
But – I think TBB means well and I get where she is coming from. I guess we are both of a different generation from that of cshapiro, and that clearly affects how we view the feelings expressed by her. I know that I am reminded of how I felt when I was a young married woman facing my first Pesach (and I was ALSO going to my parents and continued to do so until the last five years of their lives, during which time I had them to come to me instead, for each yom tov). My husband and I always helped my mom to bring in Pesach, cook and serve at all meals, and put Pesach away at the end of yom tov. Then it was our turn to do it all in our own home. Not easy, but not the end of the world, either.
Instead of responding critically to each other, how about some concrete suggestions on how to make this yom tov preparation go more smoothly for all of us?
oomisParticipantBe an understanding, sensitive, thoughtful husband, and things should not get out of hand. And if it does, be an EXTRA understanding, sensitive, and thoughtful husband. You are not the one getting her hormones messed up, and having a whole person living off your insides, feeling like an entire football team is sitting on your bladder, and getting swollen ankles, feeling exhausted 24/7 but too nauseous to eat or sleep. And those are the good days. Thank your wife for being the literal bearer of this wonderful, beautiful “burden.” And oh yeah, tell her how gorgeous she looks, as she gets larger and larger. And MEAN it!
oomisParticipantIf anyone wins, please let me know.
March 27, 2012 1:35 pm at 1:35 pm in reply to: Anyone knows about side affects of this diet??? #862497oomisParticipantThe healthiest diet I have ever been on is South Beach. A high protein, low carb (not NO carb) diet, with lots of vegetables and complex carbohydrates, plus healthy fat (i.e. olive oil), and plenty of water, is a good way to watch your weight. The plus side besides losing, it’s good for your heart and cholesterol, as well as your sugar levels.
HCG is a hormone in pregnant women’s urine. Do you REALLY want to eat something like that?
oomisParticipantMy suggestion – if someone does try to contact someone from the CR, you should identify yourself by your CR name, so the person will know who you are.
oomisParticipantFeif un – mint oil? repels mice and keeps the house minty fresh too? What a CONCEPT!!!!!!! Come to think if it, they should make a house cleaning product that contains mint and call it, Pestoil.
oomisParticipantFYI:- Once Matzo is baked, it can never become Chometz.”
Those that hold by non-gebrokts do not agree with that statement. I personally do eat gebrokts, but those who don’t, have a chashash that a speck of flour did not get kneaded into the matzah dough thoroughly, and therefore never actually baked with the rest of the dough (unless you agree that any flour that is exposed to a high temperature is baked). So when that speck of flour comes into contact with a new liquid (i.e. soup and knaidlech), the flour that previously was not mixed with liquid has now become mixed with a liquid and can become chometz in 18 minutes. At least that is my understanding of the issue. Those who eat gebrokts believe this possibility to be less than nil, and that once baked, matzah is matzah and as you said, cannot become chometz.
I have another question that has always bothered me. What is this “18 minute matzos” business. ISn’t all matzah under 18 minutes from start to finish, or it becomes chometz?
oomisParticipantI play piano and guitar by ear, and there is nothing wrong with that. I took lessons since I was five, but found I was playing the pieces just by hearing the teacher play it first. I can still read music, and it is worth getting the lessons (and having a teacher who does not give you music tapes).
oomisParticipantEEEK EEEEWWWW, and OOOOYYYYYYYYYY! One suggestion, once it is out of your room, put sticky baits along the threshhold of the doorway. At least that ought to stop it from re-entering. When the yeshivah next door to me did construction work (actually this happened three separate times over the years, we got mice as a result. I have never been so grossed out as I was by one tiny little mouse. I would rather have a root canal than pick up the trap with the mouse on it. (That’s what GUYS are for).
oomisParticipantBSD, I think I read something like that also. It’s what makes a good lawyer even better, when (s)he can tell that someone is lying by their body language.
March 26, 2012 6:32 pm at 6:32 pm in reply to: Seder/Yom Tov non-gebrokts Main and Side dish recipes, please #865972oomisParticipantFor those who do not eat mushrooms (the garlic avoidance I never heard of before, and this IS a non-gebrokts, gluten-friendly recipe), you can easily substitute broccoli, maybe tomato, squash or make it with additional onions. I would even consider trying to do a scallopped potato variation, layering thin slices of raw potatoes with the onion batter. I never tried this, but I always think of these ideas when I have a basic recipe for something else.
And boy, is it EVER a yummy kugel. I wish I had a nickel for every person, men included (who supposedly don’t eat quiche, crustless or otherwise) who asked for this recipe. It is the one item at my table that NEVER has a scrap left over.
oomisParticipantC’mon people – get with the program! I gave a recipe on another thread. I am waiting to see some other participation…
oomisParticipant……hmm “chocolate covered chicken”…….. 😉
I am certain I actually once saw a recipe for chicken dredged in cocoa… (Or maybe it is just wishful thinking…)
What could be bad, main dish and dessert in one.
March 26, 2012 4:27 am at 4:27 am in reply to: Seder/Yom Tov non-gebrokts Main and Side dish recipes, please #865965oomisParticipantI may or may not have posted this before (I am having senior moments a lot, these days), but if I haven’t, here is a side dish my family and friends always beg me to make. It is non-gebrokts, and has only a few ingredients.
Take 2 large onions, dice them and saute them together with 8 oz. of fresh or canned mushrooms until the onions are wilted and golden brown, and the mushrooms are browned. Drain off the oil, cool the onions/mushrooms slightly, then mix together with a 1/2 cup of mayonnaise, 1- 1 1/2 tsp. salt, a gezunteh shake of black pepper, and 5 eggs. Pour into a 9″ square non-stick sprayed pan, and bake at 350 degrees until the top is golden brown and feels springy to the touch. When it is not Pesach, I make this recipe either as I just posted, or occasionally turn it into a quiche by pouring it into an unbaked pie shell before baking it. Personally I don’t need the starch, so I most often make it without the pie shell. The smell of your kitchen while this is being made, is incredible.
March 26, 2012 4:18 am at 4:18 am in reply to: Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships #862311oomisParticipantI have always believed that a married man’s FIRST loyalty is to his wife. But not when she is being deliberately petty and/or hurtful to his family, and is digging in her heels on the subject. Then he has call her out about her behavior. Likewise, a son who sees his wife being hurt by his family for no just cause, should stand up for her and insist that she be treated with respect.
It can happen that someone marries someone of whom the parents truly disapprove (he or she comes from a family of a different socio-economic, religious, or intellectual background, they are disappointed in the person’s choice of profession or lack thereof, etc.), but that does not give anyone the right to act with disrespect towards that in-law child. You cannot force someone to love you, but you can expect them to treat you with derech eretz.
oomisParticipantPopa — to make it clear, childbirth typically HURTS. A LOT. Labor is not only laborious, it HURTS. Think about a vise squishing your kishkes in from all sides, slowly at first, and then a crescendo of squeezing from inside out, with your entire midsection hard as a rock. It VERY slowly subsides after around a minute of this intense squeezing. Thumbscrews as torture devices were probably developed based on men observing the pain of women in childbirth.
So yes, it is excruciating. The epidurals (and I never had any in my five natural childbirths), can only be administered in the latter stage of labor, by which time the mother to be has been suffering a long time. And make no mistake, epidurals can potentially cause a sudden lowering of the mother’s blood pressure, they are not totally without consequence. It was for that reason that I persoanlly never opted to have them.
That said, the pain is totally worth it, to have that baby, and I would have gone through it a aixth time, if Hashem had given me the chance.
If men had to have the babies, our specie would be kaput.
oomisParticipantIntuition, is often another type of sixth sense, the ability to read body language so well, that you can tell when someone is up to no good, even if they have done nothing. We call it getting a bad vibe.
oomisParticipantCover everything in chocolate (I am not joking). it would work for me…
March 25, 2012 11:33 pm at 11:33 pm in reply to: Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships #862308oomisParticipantScienceprogram, the OP is a newlywed. They have not been married long enough (at least that is what I got from the post) for deep-rooted problems to have developed that cannot be addressed and corrected with a little bit of effort. I agree that not all mothers-in-law are the easiest people, but this particular one,w ho is making the comparisons, is feeling disrespected and uncared for by THIS daughter-in-law. If she would make the effort (the DIL) to call her MIL more often and regularly,as the others are doing (and it really takes VERY little effort, if the DIL really would be honest with herself)and the MIL would STILL have tainos to her, then I would say the MIL is really difficult to please. But that was not what I was getting from that post.
I always try to see the other side of the issue. In this case, the solution is just SO simple, that it is sad if the DIL misses out on the opportunity to something so small that will yield such large rewards. that’s all I am saying. I have been on both ends of the equation, and I speak from my personal experience, true, but being a thoughtful considerate person, should never be something that has to be debated. The younger person IMO still has to show kibud av v’em to her in-laws, and making a cause celebre over doing so, would make me think that the younger person needs to grow up a little. She too will be a MIL someday, G-d willing. The MIL should also work on being a loving mother to her new “daughter.” Again, the son is caught in the middle between the two women he loves, and that is not right.
March 25, 2012 1:51 pm at 1:51 pm in reply to: Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships #862304oomisParticipantBTW, the MIL is not the enemy (neither is the DIL), yet for some reason, we are always perceived that way. Bottom line, both MIL and DIL want son/husband to be happy. It will make him happy for them to get along. So whether you are a MIL or a DIL, MAKE THE EFFORT, be non-judgmental on both sides, and be loving for the sake of the person you both love in common.
oomisParticipantPBA, good answer.
March 25, 2012 5:39 am at 5:39 am in reply to: Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships #862301oomisParticipantYou know what – calling a mother-in-law at least once a week is not such a big deal, so don’t make it into one. She should call her, if that will make her happy. I called my dear MIL O”H every single day (my mom, too), because I knew it gave her pleasure. She was bedridden all the years I knew her, as well as blind, and it made her feel loved and special that her DIL thought enough of her to make that effort to share a few minutes of each day with her by phone. I am not saying you have to do what I did, but for Heaven’s sake, once a week is too much?????????
oomisParticipantYosef becoming the second in command in Egypt, after being sold into slavery by his brothers, and fulfilling the dream he had dreamed of the son, moon, and stars bowing to him.
oomisParticipantEliezer meeting Rivkah.
oomisParticipantI am happy for any and all people who are helped by P”N. That said, I am sad for all the wonderful, baalos middos tovos, beautiful financially poor girls who are having trouble finding their basherteh, and the P”N shadchanim are NOT helping them because they couldn’t come up with the gelt, and those other shadchanim who DO work with them just ain’t cuttin’ the mustard. As with anything in life, money talks. That, btw, is NOT the Torah way. Money (or its lack) is NOT supposed to influence a judge in court, how much more so in all aspects of life!
oomisParticipantI do at times, and people who know me well are no longer surprised by it. It does not happen frequently, but when it does it is beyond amazing and always a great bracha.
I will relate an experience and try to be very discreet about it (v’hamayvin yavin). I work in a field in which I come into contact with women on a regular basis. One time, a woman came into my workplace, and I directed her to the area that she needed to be, waiting for her to let me know when she needed me. Typically, I would not be called for about 1/2 an hour or longer. After 15 minutes, a disembodied voice in my head said, “Check on the woman in (the area where I had sent her).” Normally, I would never do that – it would be considered a no-no (kind of like interupting someone during Shmoneh Esrai). But I got up and went over to her to see if everything was ok, and literally the EXACT SECOND I approached her, her eyes rolled back and she fainted. Had I not been there to catch her and cushion her fall, she would unquestionably have struck her head on an extremely hard object in the area, based on the direction in which she fell. I do not want to think of what the consequences could have been. And the first thing I thought was Thank you, Hashem for putting me in the right place at the right time. This ended as a Hatzolah call, but B”H she was ok in the end.
As I said, it does not happen often, but I think each of us has the R”HK moment, and we don’t necessarily recognize it when it happens. We are all meant to have a level of nevuah of some type, as Am Yisroel, and I believe that sometimes Hashem allows us to have a taste of what that means, because something good is meant to come out of that moment.
What most people experience with “sixth sense” IMO, is more the great ability to discern body language and read inflection of tone. Haven’t you ever met someone who looked harmless, but instinctively you did not trust that person, then it turned out he was a Ponzi scheme goniff or the like? Some people are very adept at subconsciously noting hidden signals and vibes that are being given off. If we want to call that a sixth sense, it makes (sixth) sense. It really is more a case of excellent powers of observation.
oomisParticipantSo what heter is there for a Jewish guy to deliver babies, or work on Hatzolah, teach girls in Yeshivah, or simply work in a store where women shop? We can take this to a really out-there level, if we want to, but people need to make a parnassah, and SOMEONE has to interact with women on a regular basis. It is not feasible for it to solely be other women all the time.
oomisParticipantI usually call it shidduch info, myself.
oomisParticipantThank you, Zeeskite. Much appreciated.
oomisParticipantI just recently started reading his articles, and I am hooked. The man makes me laugh, straight from the gut, and I don’t care who hears me. My family thinks I am a laughing hyena at times, and then they realize, “Oh it’s Schmutter again.” the guy’s a genius (and no, he doesn’t pay me to say that – I never met him).
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