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Sac and popa-
Sorry I think I didnt explain myself clearly. I didnt mean a girl shouldnt dress nice for a date. Of course she should dress as pretty as she can.
What I meant was (in response to popa saying that girls have to remember how men are wired) that you dont have to dress to kill in the same way that you would for your future husband (which may not be as tznius)
MDG-
Is that not the same thing?!
I think its natural to feel like you are the only one dealing with a major nisayon. I always wonder if everybody has nisyonos because when I look around, there definitely seems to be people who got the easy ride in life
“this brings an attitude of it being somehow moral for women to not care about their appearance”
Every girl and woman on this planet cares about her looks. Not just for men but for herself and her friends. Its a natural thing that we are all born with
Other than that I agree with your post. We are supposed to be impressing our husbands with our looks…but I dont think that means that girls should dress to kill on every date
Im here. Havent been here for a while because Ive been extremely busy
Doesnt sound chassidish. Sounds bizzare.
What exactly does this guy know about girl #1 that makes her his “dream girl”?
It hasnt rained yet…at least not in Yerushalayim. Its over 80 degrees during the day. Hot and sunny.
Mazel tov!
Health-
I feel like saying that all the time!
I have definitely grown alot from what I’m going through, but I always think to myself “when will I have a chance to grow through good times?!”
Eclipse- easier said than done.
And shkoyach- Thank you for your post. Its really appreciated. I’m going through hard times too and I can definitely relate. But unfortunately the people whose lives are perfect right now will never understand (how could they!) and as much as they try not to be hurtful they will still slip sometimes.
Helpful-
No but be sensitive if there is someone around who does not have all the blessings that you do.
Yeshivaguy1-
Im saying its wrong. Yes its very wrong to live it up in EY and pretend that you are learning. Its wrong for a yeshiva bochur and its wrong for a kollel guy.
And Im also saying that its mesiras nefesh for those couples that do it the right way. (That isnt everyone but it is the majority)
I have two feet.
Thats how I get everywhere
Yeshivaguy1-
There are definitely people over here that are like that but thats a minority and besides- thats not in Ramat Eshkol. Its in Arzei and Machal and Maalot Dafna.
I really dont know where you are getting this info about Ramat Eshkol. As far as I know, Yam Suf is in Ramat Eshkol and is filled to the brim with serious, yeshivish, kollel yungerleit, who even if they are only here for a couple of years are seriously learning the entire time and grabbing every oppertunity for growth over here while they still can. They go home once a year for pesach, they dont ever have steak BBQs, and they show up to every seder way before the american bochurim do.
There is so much mesiras nefesh going on with these couples, that I dont know where you get the audacity to suggest otherwise.
And might I ask, if you are a yeshiva bochur in EY, where you are getting internet access from so often?
Shalom Chaver-
I hear your point, but Chanukah is a time of year that families get together and I dont see anything wrong with spending quality time with your family playing some sort of game.
Mamashtakah-
It doesnt make it any easier to live here just because your kids learned more. I do agree that there are trade offs though, and Im happy to live here despite the tremendous hassle that it is. There are tremendous benefits- we’ve really grown alot from roughing it on our own out here (neither of us have any relatives here).
Yeshivaguy1-
I dont know which couples you hang out by, but perhaps its time to spend some time with serious people. There are much more of them, trust me. I dont know why you only get the picture from the few spoiled brats that are here on Daddys unlimited credit card.
Havesomeseichel-
Try it. You’ll see right away that it is no vacation. Until then, dont jump to conclusions. Trust me- it would make my life much simpler if we can pack up and move to Lakewood or something…but for various reasons it is best that we are in EY right now- and we grow into much more mature people than those who live around the corner from Mommy and are still tied to her apron strings. Those people barely know how to make a shabbos (let alone 3 3 day yom tovs in a row) for the first year they are married. Theres no way they can handle lifes tough decisions while they are still so dependent on their parents….so please dont tell me about mature.
I’ve heard that people are understanding when you say nicely “in my religion, men shake hands with men and women shake hands with women.”
A teacher of mine once said that she was in that situation and when the man extended his hand she couldnt think normally and just handed him the papers that she was holding. He looked confused, but he wasnt insulted
I will agree that there are quite a few couples in EY who are vactioning and would definitely be called spoiled. But its still extremely hard to live here and those people would be even more spoiled if they lived in America.
arc-
Thats complete lashon hara. And completely false. Where are you getting that statistic of “75% of couples”? How many people do YOU know living in EY?
Trust me – almost every couple living here is sacrificing. And anyone who hasnt done it will never understand so I’m not going to bother explaining. Suffice it to say that there is a big reason that it says that EY is “nikneis al yidei yissurim”. Life here is hard. Really really hard.
And besides- if parents are going to support, they are going to do it regardless of where the couple lives.
Wow- impressive
I hope your son is able to internalize the message
5 hours – but I also have two side businesses that keep me quite busy
dunno- its not like a Harry.
Its a guy with globs of messy payos sticking out behind his ears, who cant speak a sentence without mixing in 90% yeshivish shprach, who is not really down to earth. (he may be from a different planet)
I dont know why girls are never called greasy though…
real-brsker
Why does this bother you so much?
Their email address is [email protected]
website is http://newcomersguideisrael.com/
If you go to the info bar on the website youll see all the diff categories that are there- Its an abnormal amount of info and its a tremendous help for all of us living here
smartcookie-
Im sure there are people who got good wigs and paid btwn 1-2 thousand but they probly got lucky. If you want to be safe go with a shevy from shevy themselves- but it mite cost 3 grand
I get their emails all the time and sometimes they list their services. Im pretty sure it says there that they publish both.
Also how can it not be the same if they use the same wording?
yeshivguy1-
The newcomers network puts out a yeshiva and seminary guide too. I dont know if thats the one you are referring to but its definitely the same owner. Most of it has the same wording. Of course the newcomers guide is like 20 times bigger…being that its that much more complicated to live in EY as a married couple than as a yeshiva bochur or seminary….
If youre looking for quality get a Shevy. Its undisputed that they have the best shaitels out there. But youll have to pay for it…
Its put out every year by the Newcomers Network. They also put out a book every year called the Newcomers Guide. Yes its used all over. For some people its like their Bible- They read it cover to cover ; )
In all seriousness, it has all the info you will ever need t live here and its very accurate and very well put together. I pull my copy out at least once or twice every week. And im already living here over a year.
Its never too early for doughnuts. Ive been eating them here in EY since the day after Sukkos! (I have to make up for the rest of the year when they dont sell them here)
Best ones in Brooklyn are for sure the Donut Mans- and while your there get a club grilled cheese sandwhich- its heavenly
Oomis- Yes but when you go to a DR its because you are trying to get the best care. Over here- you have another choice- you can do a female only pat down. My question is- on the chance that it is a man seeing your naked body, is it permissible to go thru the scanner or are you halachically required to opt for the pat down?
You can always make a blog- Go to Blogspot.com
but it is limited
It looks like he’s a rav in Switzerland; his name is on most of the Ricola packages sold here in Israel.
Wolf- I agree with your theory and its not illogical at all. After all- you have to do some form of hishtadlus.
My husband asked a well-known posek in Yerushalayim who specializes in kashrus issues, he said that those under Rav Shlesinger are fine.
original poster
GAW-
Daddy should not be paying for it when they are supposedly living a kollel lifestyle. If he has extra money to give them, it should be put in savings so they dont have to schnorr off of others when it comes time to pay tuition
yeshivaguy1-
Arzei, Machal and Maalot Dafna are ten times worse than Ramat Eshkol, and not everyine can find an apt in Sanhedria Murchevet- (esp not with that crazy vaad)so it spills over into ramat eshkol- there are plenty of serious couples here too.
My problem is not with the tznius aspect of this (even tho I think its not so tzniyus) as much as the fact that these people ramateshkolian is talking about are kollel couples. I dont care who is buying you the clothes- if your husband is in kollel then act like it.
And if you dont, then he should go out to work to support your brand name wardrobe instead of giving the rest of us a bad name.
Although it is nice manners to say no by saying youre busy, I hated it when boys mothers would say that to me – Id rather them say no and move on with life.
When I redt shidduchim now also it grates on my nerves. If your answer is no than say no. Dont say we are still looking into it. Dont push me around and make me feel like an idiot calling you back to find out.
BP Totty-
My seminary took us to Eilat (and we went snorkeling- its the most gorgeous thing ever to swim in the yam suf right beside the corals) so that we wouldnt go ourselves…
Boys dont have this option…but a good seminary will satisfy the girls enough so that they wont feel like they have to spend a fortune touring the country.
Pet Peeve-
Great post. I agree 100%
Is it better for a girl to be seen “virtually naked” by a man or should she rather opt for the pat down as gross as it is?
Is it allowed for frum women to go through the scanner?
Everyone, relax- Im not sure I understand what the problem is? No one is bashing anyone else. There isnt anything wrong with disagreeing. The OP asks for opinions…and everyone gives it.
Thats not to say that if we disagree I dont love you as a fellow yid. I just dont agree with your derech…
Whats the problem with that?
Sino steak sandwich from there is THE best.
I also like their fried chicken- I can eat a whole bucket of it!
I used to daven mincha in work. But I was in a frum office in BP and tho I was looked at strangely at first (due to the fact that the other girls were chassidish besides one who didnt daven mincha) eventually they got used to me and a couple of girls even started to daven mincha also!
And BP Totty- plenty of girls daven maariv. I dont (unless I’m by the kosel) but my younger sister davens maariv every night. (Not just Friday night, when some hold that you have a chiyuv because of kiddush)
aries2756
Your post is a little naive. There are plenty of guys itching to get on the ladies side and dancing with their sister is the perfect opportunity. I’m not saying this about every guy who does it- But there are plenty of these out there
As someone else pointed out- the whole family can dance together in a private room. There is no need to put on a whole show.
Of course its inapprpriate but it depends on the kid, his age, the family, and other circumstances if you should enforce some sort of rule or not.
My husband can make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches….and he can warm up pizza….
; )
Jelly Belly Beanboozled jelly beans are pretty strange. Its like bertie botts every flavor…Ive tasted ear wax, baby wipes, boogers, vomit, pencil shavings, skunk spray, moldy cheese, rotten egg…
Havent had a chance to taste th enew flavors yet- Centipede and Canned dog food…