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My friend actually met his wife on Frumster, but he (and I) are middle-aged. My friend’s daughter did not find Frumster helpful – the screening process was inaccurate, and she had some bad experiences with guys she met through them (but none from Saw You at Sinai,which seems to be more organized, though she has not yet met THE one). Good luck whatever you choose to do.
No problem – it was classy of you.
You always should ask your poseik. I was not permitted to listen to music or anything like that, and I only had a purim seudah with my husband and children.
I did not see the posts on Friday for the most part – I was not reading this until last night after the megillah, and it was extremely offensive, but clearly the work of kid who thinks he is smart. The difference between a wise man and a wise guy is maturity and seichel, and it is a pity that the only way this boy can communicate is on such a level, He doesn’t call himself by the user name he chose, by accident. There is obviously a lot of anger there. Chaval meod.
There are very few Jews in the world who can get shikker strictly l’shem mitzvah, and you and I both know it. The VAST majority of people who are drinking, do so, because Purim is “legal” for them, not because they are on such a high madreiga of holiness that their SOLE intention is to be mekayeim the mitzvah. Maybe at one time, Jews were on such a level, but now, the attempt to fulfill this mitzvah does NOT lead to good things for too many people. And given that many of today’s mainstream Rabbonim pasken that it is assur to get THAT drunk, and also given the fact that there are people here who are continually saying that the chumros of today are necessary because of all the hashpaa of the goyishe velt or new knowledge that we have about things (so that kulos of olden times vis a vis stuff like worms in fish, should not be held, but we should be more strict, based on our present Gedolim), it seems mighty odd to me that the ONE thing you guys are holding onto from the past is ad d’lo yada yada yada. I’m just sayin’….
I concur with Josh 31
Yom Ki-purim is the day in which we ask Hashem’s forgiveness. It is certainly a great time for someone to give it to someone who asks for it ON Purim.
Ok, first let’s be realistic, the Mods are not sitting at the computer yomam valalyla (I hope), waiting to moderate posts. They DO have a life, presumably. It certainly is easier for them this way. That being said, I think if someone proves to be a problem, there should be a one strike and you’re out policy. The first time an offensive expression is used, as was last night by the same poster, twice, he or she should be blocked from the site. It IS nice to be able to have instantaneous (almost) conversations here, like an IM more than like an e-mail.
Whatever we think about our interpretation of the law, if a minor (under 21) gets drunk and causes an accident, the civil law will comes down VERY HARD on him and possibly also the person who gave him the liquor, religious observation or no religious observation. The law (as it applies to Orthodox Jews)was intended not to interfere with parents giving their minor children kiddush on Shabbos and Yom tov, and THAT’S ALL.
” quick…garlic eaters unite! “
Thank G-d this is not in person.
someone I know did something adorable as an around the world theme. She gave stuff like Poland Spring Water, Swiss cheese, French fried onion rings, Chinese noodles, Danish, you get the idea.
Are you sure it’s not pronounce Mehillah Gorilla?
Maybe in South America….
Nope, there is NO hope for the Senate or any other part of the government. 🙂
re: the accident seen by PY – OY.
Bodek is absolutely right. I wish you much hatzlacha in finding your bashert and being married b’korov, to the right person.
What a pity – this kid has nothing better to do with his time. They all do grow up eventually, so there is hope.
Megillah Gorilla (Magilla)
Ben Levi – finally, B”H. Simchas Purim.
I accept your apology. Thank you. Your point is well-taken about the other group list you mentioned (should not have mentioned by name, though), but at the time that I signed on here to the CR, I had no idea I could use another name besides my screen name. So it is a moot point.
Just for the record, my family and I never at any time personally complained to the Yeshivah, you were mistaken in thinking that. We personally went outside each time to tell the drunken boys to get off our lawn and remind them that it was 3 AM and people were trying to sleep. But several of my neighbors, some who moved away from the block in very recent years specifically because of inyanim such as this one among many others, did in fact make their complaints known to the R”Y. I could not bring myself to say something to him, because he was a personal friend of my family, and I felt uncomfortable with the possibility of sounding like I was giving HIM mussar.
Although apparently (as you stated) the chagiga was stopped (and I merely thought it was quieter because they moved it indoors to their new building), I had nothing whatsoever to do with that, though I was tested time and again by the thoughtlessness that occurred over the years. There were however still some limos coming down the street late at night, possibly with outside bochurim who thought the Yeshivah was still making a chagiga, and this was still a problem, noise-wise. We will see what happens tonight. And I likewise wish you and all of klal Yisroel a freilichen Purim.
AS Hashem put these worms in the fish, but told us that fish with fins and scales are kosher, I am not sure why there is a problem. Is there a similar problem with chicken and meat?
Angryjewboy – maybe you would not be so angry if you learned a little self control. This is not some teenybopper blog where anything goes. And btw, this is a perfect example of someone who should not be drinking on Purim.
Why is it an either or proposition? I say have ’em BOTH!!!!!
Believe me, it IS!!!!!!!!! It’s a crisper hamantash rather than a very soft delicate cookie, and it has some honey in the dough. But it is the allspice, lemon juice, and nuts in the prune lekvar that really seal the deal.
Please note, in many places, if you serve alcohol to a minor (“minor” defined according to the laws of the State), and that minor gets into or causes an accident, the person who gave him the alcohol can potentially be held liable for any damage, hospitalization or death that occurs as a result of that minor’s alcohol intake.
Oy – I HATE bakery hamantashen. As far as my family is concerned, they only eat mine. It was my mom’s recipe, and STILL the best I have ever tasted, bar none. The prune filling is mixed with a little lemon juice, finely chopped walnuts, and allspice, and I have never tasted another filling as good as that one. The hamantash dough itself is incredible. It is worth the potchkeh once a year.
Tzippi, while I commend you for your ability to think the way you do about being an older single, I guarantee you that if the singles are not crying (and I don’t happen to agree with you), their PARENTS surely are.
eitang, I have some infor for you. There is a minyan in Sons of Israel in the center of town that might be good for you, very eclectic group of people, similar to a nice Young Israel crowd, so I am told. It’s on Route 9 (Madison). I believe it is Rabbi Tendler’s Shul. The person I spoke to is a frum but also modern guy, and he is very comfortable there.
Also, there is a Shul in someone’s basement ,c alled the Beis Medrash of Central Park, on Shonny Court.
the person also said, R’ Gissinger’s shul is wonderful. Maybe more Yeshivish, but it is Lakewood, after all. So, you have a number of places to try, if you haven’t already. My feeling from what I was told, you would be very happy in Sons of Israel during the week, I am not sure how close a walk it would be on Shabbos.
Someone said that davening (bakoshos) at neitz on Purim is a most auspicious time for chasdei Hashem.
Eitang, I will try to find out some info for you tomorrow, bli neder.
Like all things, having a Blackberry has its virtues and its vices. We have already discussed ad nauseum whether or not talmidim should have cell phones in the Beis Medrash. We have attacked this issue from several different angles, and the heated discussion became very acrimonious (usually the younger posters versus the older ones). Anything that prevents someone from doing properly that which he entered the Beis Medrash to do, and especially if it distracts others, should be banned at that time.
It’s really funny to me. When I was growing up my mom O”H always made the same shalach manos, which included two or three of her incredible homemade hamantashen, a couple of incredible homemade Toll House cookies (the chips were still pareve in those days), a bag of potato chips, a mini bottle of grape juice and maybe some chocolate (like Hersheys miniatures). All this she put on a paper plate and covered it either with foil or with saran wrap, added a note saying who the shalach manos was from, and that was that. Everyone always loved her shalach manos.
Are you near Jackson? If so, I will try to find out for you where some people I know daven, as they are frum, Modern Orthodox people and very welcoming.
Artchill, that sounds a little harsh. It might be “inappropriate” for someone to give a therapist something overly personal, ostentatious, or expensive, but to bake some hamantashen and add in a bottle of wine is not going to get someone’s license suspended for accepting it. Could you please cite me the exact source for your Code of Ethics (I thought that was the Shulchan Aruch), as I would like to look up the law in its entirety.
Ma Gila – not to be picky, but isn’t the lizard’s name prounounced as if it were spelled with an H and not a G?
E”Y is holy, the government is not. The only way to ensure that the government will be holy is to a) vote in frum people who are ehrliche, and b)do our hishtadlus to bring about the coming of Moshiach. I am not sure which will be harder to accomplish.
get that person an alarm clock watch that is set to a preset time interval at which he must eat something, either a meal or light snack.
My late aunt was a perfect example of how dangerous it is to think that if one is on insulin they can have as much sugar as they want. She figured she would eat a piece of cake and have the ice cream, and just give herself a shot. She was wrong, the sugar highs and lows caused serious health issues for her, and she never stabilized her BSL. Portion and diet control are the best weapons for an insulin dependent diabetic. A healthy diet and medication, plus weight loss and exercise are the best weapons for Type 2 diabetics. But neither party can indiscriminately consume simple carbohydrates.
RN2B is right, and it works the same with the boys who are shy. the problem is, if they are too quiet, no one wants to give them that second chance.
OK, if you are not fleishig, a piece of cheese is excellent. it is protein, has lots of L-Tryptophans, and calcium, and is light. if you are still fleishig, try some crackers or a rice cake with peanut butter.
A nony mus – props to you for a cogent and well-thought-out post.
Aries, another really excellent post.
I have more to say, but have decided at this point that discretion is the better part of valor.
Last year we did all purple foods (for malchus), grape juice, purple laffy taffy purple plums, and of course prune hamantashen (made from the dried purple plums). This year I am just doing very simple shalach manos, two foods of different brachos, and spending the extra money I saved, on more matanos l’evyonim instead.
If a boy needs to be “helped through the process” he is too young for the process, and should wait to date until he is grown up enough to go out without needing his parents’ (read: Mommy’s) help.
Totally normal.
There is quiet and there is can’t-have-a-normal-conversation with someone. When someone asks if someone is quiet, I would tend to think they were trying to ascertain if the person has a personality. I wouldn’t want my girls redt to “quiet” boys (they have been, and it was like pulling teeth to get the boys to talk), but I would not want them redt to loudmouths, either. The idea is for there to be a balance and a clear and pleasant.
Quiet does not necessarily mean introspective, nor does it mean deep and thoughtful. A person can be quiet because he or she simply has never learned how to interact with people. They could be overly shy. The kind of quiet that comes from being introspective, shows the personality in other ways, through strength of character,and also through intelligent conversation. But again, that is NOT what people are usually asking when they ask that question.
Just a point of dikduk- of which Talmid lo chacham made me think. I always thought that the word “talmid” in “talmid chochom” is translated in the possessive form, meaning talmid (shel ish) chochom, the student of a wise person, and not “a wise student.” Therefore, the feminine form would not be talmida chachama, but talmidas chochom (or chachama if her teacher were a learned woman). Anyone know anything about this? Just curious…
Esther, great poem. Hope you are feeling well, B”EH.
Poster, a piece of fruit is always a good idea.
D”Y tests for I believe 11-13 (not sure of the precise number) of genetic conditions that someone may be carrying, i.e. Tay Sachs, Gaucher’s Disease, etc. They will not tell someone what genes they carry, they will only tell the two parties involved if i.e., #428 and number #957 are genetically compatible(based solely on the genetic markers for which they test, but as I pointed out before, there may be other conditions for which they do NOT test, because they are possibly not life-threatening, or too rare to be cost-effective for testing purposes). My understanding is that they do not want to tell people what conditions they may carry, because it could be very upsetting to know you have a gene for say, Tay Sachs. People tend to forget that carrying a gene is not the same as having a disease. By discouraging kids with certain genetically transmitted ilness from marrying, those conditions can be eradicated completely, and eventually, perhaps even the gene will no longer exist, because every pregnancy carries the possibility that the person is not only free of the diease, but also NOT a carrier. If they are not carriers, they cannot pass that genetic condition onto another child,
even as a carrier.
As to the question of when the girl should meet the boy’s parents or the parents to meet the girl, however you want to express it, I feel that after five or six dates, it would be appropriate, as there clearly seems to be SOMETHING in the works. My daughter actually met her future in-laws VERY soon after she and my son-in-law began dating. it just worked out that way, he had to stop off at his house and she went in with him, when the family was all there. It was love at first sight on all sides, and the rest is history. And yes, we love our son-in-law the same as they love her. B”H.
Mod 42 – wow! Bnei B(a)rak
Would the Gemarah say that Rochel Emainu was a gazlanit?