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Never happened to me, but rather any number of breakups than one broken marriage.
Joseph, if someone calls me for shidduch information about you, I’m definitely going to feel required to tell them about your yeshiva world shenanigans.
Also, I’m going to insist that they read every one of your posts before they agree to date you.
agutyar: I absolutely did NOT say that. You are grossly misquoting me. As I specifically stated, I know many people who didn’t get into the school of their choice.
I don’t know anyone who put in a normal amount of hishtadlus (calling people including their community/shul Rav, applying to multiple schools, letting people know about the situation) who couldn’t get into ANY school.
Squeak:the two most sandy ectoplasmic beings on Earth (not to mention the Man on the Moon).
The problem is population growth and as a result there are too many children trying to get into the same grade. Imagine an island that only has 3 classrooms but 100 children. 10 of those children are going to die from exposure or sunburn.
The solution is to send your kids to school 2-3 years younger than is currently thought of as normal. Send to kindergarten at age 2 instead of 5 and then there will be enough classrooms for all. Also, SYR is sponsoring cars to take your little tykes to school so you don’t have to bear that expense and carpool hassle too early in your young life.
At least 71 roshei yeshiva have given me their bracha.
Can’t believe I missed this. Repeating in case others did.
Another note is, I do believe that people who give money to Lakewood feel frustrated because Lakewood is founded on valuing only learning, so people who work feel looked down upon.
it is a totally separate issue from the schools issue, and I’m surprised Rabbi Rechnitz conflated them.
If Rabbi Rechnitz got his kids into a school where every other kid was a child of a person in klei kodesh, how do you think they would feel about themselves after 12 years of school? They wouldn’t feel good about their family or proud of their father as a person. Sure, they’d feel good and take advantage of their position due to his money, but their values wouldn’t be “look up to man who supports community of Torah” but rather “look up to people who work full time/are in chinuch/ in klei kodesh”.
‘In town’, kids tend to be more influenced by the community, as they’re not getting the regular “we do this, they do that” message that OOT’ers naturally send their kids. So it’s more important to send your kid to a school where their peers are on the page you want them to be. OOT there’s one school and everyone goes and the kids turn out fine and tend to have values similar to their parents’.
Not only that, ‘in town’ parents are motivated to send their kid to the “best” school they can get into, hoping their kids will be influenced by the peer pressure and turn into better kids. This doesn’t actually work in practice, as sending your kid to a school where they don’t belong nearly always backfires, but it doesn’t stop people from trying to do what they think is best for their child.
My point is, it’s not all elitism. Some of it is just the natural result of the existence of a spectrum of schools and parents who want x and y for their kids. And that spectrum exists anywhere there is a large enough community to support it.
I don’t know anyone who couldn’t get into any in town school. I know many people who had to push to get into the school of their choice, and others who refused to go to the schools that would accept their kids as a matter of pride. Or who wouldn’t admit that their kid just didn’t fit in the mold of a particular school that all their other kids went to.
There is definitely a problem, but I think it’s more like 5% elitism and 95% situational, rather than vice versa.
If there is also a space problem in Lakewood, that compounds it, but I’ve never heard of anyone who put in the requisite effort and made all the calls and couldn’t get their kid in anywhere.
“And if we elect H. Clinton?”
Not much will change. The Republicans will block everything she wants to do in foreign and domestic policy.
So then what’s the point of electing her. Use your vote to elect a liberal Republican who will be able to actually do something.
Yes. First, nonkosher fish can get mixed in. Second, the capsules have to come from a kosher source.
The queen, I learned what you said, but I think a bit more is acceptable in some communities (not mine, just accounting for differing understandings)
Sam2, you are wrong.
The landlord does not have the right to enter at any time. You are paying rent and it is your home.
You do have to give them an acceptable alternate time. I made it clear to my last landlord that Friday afternoon and Shabbos and naptimes for my baby were not okay. If they say they are only available Saturday, suggest a time on Motzei Shabbos after you’ve cleaned up. Nobody is working then. I have never been taken up on this, they’d rather come Sunday.
I also forbade pictures. Measuring the room is one thing. Pictures that could be shared anywhere is another. I never took pictures of an apt I was considering either. It’s rude to the people who live there.
As long as you are nice about it, it will be fine.
Kollel store brand, something like 3.89 a loaf.
Put a bit of tomato sauce on bottom of pan, drench with tomato sauce, bake until burnt.
If I was an immature boy I would totally use my mother as a cover to get what I wanted. Ie, I’m not shallow and want a skinny girl, it’s my mother who won’t let me date a skinny girl.
I am totally lost at this point, but liked PETAAAAOCTHAAAAOOO .
With the caveat that my information is a few years past:
I was accepted to both Touro and Stern Honors programs. I originally wanted to go to Stern, thinking the academics were better.
However, I planned to pay my own way through college, and Stern offered me a financial aid package that would have left me deeply in debt, and I wasn’t going into debt to get a BA, which is basically a high school diploma nowadays.
So I went to Touro Honors, where I got multiple scholarships which covered my entire tuition minus a few hundred dollars a year plus books. I did a lot of research before picking classes and professors, and never had a professor without a PhD in my major and minor areas.
Touro is cheaper in general, but the quality of instructors is more consistent in Stern.
I am very pleased with my Touro undergraduate education. I think Touro is better for the self-motivated student who knows what their goals are and has a plan to get there. It is definitely better for a yeshivish girl who wants to remain yeshivish.
It must have been even more upsetting for the children, considering that they were buried alive in the buildings.
I don’t let my spouse read all of my emails, but I do let him read any particular email he wants.
It would take an awful lot of time to read all my emails, and I value his time too much to let it be wasted like that.
Even I don’t read all my emails!
It’s not about putting people in their place.
99.9% of normal parents know not to come visit on their own without calling at night. You can safely assume that if these parents are doing this to their kids, they lack a certain basic sense of privacy and proper behavior.
People who lack a basic sense of propriety need to be told politely and firmly what the limits are, and then you have to stick to them.
I agree with Oomis’s last post.
They don’t drive, why would you think that they fly?
You have to communicate with them that you don’t like it. If they persist on coming, don’t let them in. Make sure they don’t have a key to let themselves in, even if that means changing your locks.
In a marriage, your privacy is extremely important, and you need to respect that yourself for others to respect it.
Our biggest problem should be that people daven from their smartphones instead of from a real siddur.
My kid was taught to kiss the mezuzah, but thinks they should kiss every picture hanging on a wall that they pass…
It would make me check again if something changed that required a hechsher.
The Shechina is not something tangible, so it doesn’t need a tangible location to be.
APY: Some dresses are designed to look immodest, even if technically they follow the rules of tznius. That’s “designed with bad intentions”. You know it when you see it.
Shopping,, I think taking care of your own stuff is pretty basic. The OP says their parents want additional help for the general household.
FrozenThaw: It’s still fair. Just think of how much money you are saving in rent.
You sound like a Zionist to me.
I think it sounds reasonable. Either the child helps, or pays for help. If they are old enough to get married, they should be mature enough to chip in and help without being asked.
Sufganiot
Pizza
Sous vide
Bump
Writersoul, where are you?
Gamanit, great installment.
I agree with the OP. We need to filter the wheat from the chaff when taking in things from the outside world.
Cute! I read this in Yated recently, is that where you saw it?
Is it muttar to be tovel if you have a sheretz in your hand?
ZD, you can hear the evil in Wagner’s music. Listening to it always makes me depressed. It sounds chaotic and angry.
Read Cross Currents interview with Rabbi Aharon Feldman.
In fact, our personalities, gifts, and deficiencies are gifts from Hashem, guiding us to how our neshama is meant to serve Hashem best.
That said, I think the OP is a reaction to the secular habit of overly focusing on children’s individuality, leading to egocentric adults for whom satisfying their desires is a goal in life.
There’s nothing wrong with having opinions, be it food preferences or favorite colors or people you don’t like. Ultimately we have to listen to Hashem, and we eat kosher even if the nonkosher chocolate looks delicious, don’t wear purple sheitels even if it looks good on us because it would not be tzanua, and we do good for people because Hashem tells us to emulate Him and be kind and merciful.
I don’t believe in letting children think at all. Children should be seen and not heard, and do homework and chores and otherwise stay out of our way, and preferably sleep 12 hours a night from day one. No pesky personalities should be allowed to develop.
Sure, when we’re learning Torah.
Why does that matter?
This thread makes me want sushi every time I see it.
Rebyidd, you made me lol.
A. Manhattan HS for girls or Prospect
B. Depends on what kind of guy you’re looking for in a few years, which is highly influenced by your HS
C. Bais Yaakov of Boro Park, where there is more fun and less academics than most schools.
I assume you’re not looking for a chassidish one, in which case A. is popularly considered Bais Bracha, B is B or Tomer Devora, and C is BYBP or Vien.
I also assume you live in Brooklyn
I think you’re looking at the right factors. Hatzlacha rabba!