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I used to find dryer lint abhorrent. But I’ve come to appreciate the different colors that come out every time, and the softness of it.
Maybe you can still watch movies, actually. Homemade one, that is.
What I’ve done in the past was create home videos with my siblings. We usually did it when my parents were out for a while, and we’d call them “Home Alone,” with incrementally varying volume numbers. They were so fun! We would video the different things we could do when we’re home alone, like teaching a 10 year old to drive, racing our rabbit vs turtle, making dinner, not putting the younger kids to bed on time, etc. My sister would edit it, putting in background music, rolling credits, and other things to pretend it was professional. Then we would watch these 10 minute videos together with our parents, and sometimes with our extended relatives – everyone got a kick out of it 🙂 It’s so cool
Some nights you could create the movie, some nights you could edit it, and some nights you could all watch it together with the family! You could use a lot of different themes and do it with your kids.
Then play it for everyone at their sheva berachos.
Thank you! You’ve effectively captured my whole essence. It’s incredible how much of a person’s personality, location, and aspirations one can gauge from years of anonymous comments.
Twenty-Six Reasons Why Jews Don’t Believe In Jesus, by Asher Norman, 2007. Read the reviews and buy it. Hatzlacha.
Could we also change my subtitle, please? I’m getting tired of it. Thanks.
If it were up to Benjamin Franklin, our national bird would have been the turkey. He thought they looked more scary (if comical) chasing after the redcoats. Maybe that image would have sooner allowed for a female president?
When we make kugel in cupcake tins we call them kugelach and they taste fabulous.
TJ’s parve vanilla is incredible. Someone should sponsor some for the OP.
I never got that far without cheating. So I’m not the person to ask. Ask my brothers.
How can all of we mortal persons
Be in two different places at once?
The answer’s quite clear,
For I’m CR posting here,
Though I’m sitting in class like a dunce.
If Jews observed Halloween:
Hilchot Halloween:
3) One who turns off the lights and pretends to be away is called a sinner!
4) Shaving cream used for tricks does not require kosher supervision.
6) To be considered a trick, one must damage property valued at at least one perutah (approx. 5 cents). A trick must also inconvenience the victim by at least 6.7 minutes. In case of emergency, there is a lenient position of 4.8 minutes one may be allowed to rely on. Consult your Halachik authority.
7) The pumpkin should be placed on the top step, to the right of the door.
9) One does not make a blessing before trick or treating, because it is not certain that the homeowner will be home.
10) When giving candy, one must give an amount at least the size of an olive (About five candy corns.) Some are of the opinion that it has to be at least the size of an egg. (twelve candy corns.) This opinion is preferable.
11) When egging cars, one should be careful not to drop any eggs prior to throwing them. Remember, bal Tashchis!
(Authorship unknown)
Maybe she switched user names to form a new reputation as her alter ego.
That was very poignant and so accurate for a lot more people than you may realize. I myself often find myself doing nothing on my phone just to pass the time at weddings where I know no one. You may not feel comfortable in social events where n>1 , but you undoubtedly thrive in more sparsely populated situations, e.g., home. That’s nothing to be ashamed of. But you obviously deeply desire that feeling of anxiety-free functioning at weddings, etc. I don’t know if you’re looking for suggestions, but if I would direct you to make conversation with any one person at a wedding, it would be that woman sitting at a table staring at her phone and looking just as ill-at-ease as you feel. Which is basically the advice you gave us.
That friend of yours sounds so special. If only we could manufacture people like that in a factory.
I’ve never seen berka ladies in Manhattan before yesterday (Halloween). Not sure if it was a costume or not, cus she was walking with her chassidish-looking husband who was carrying a baby.
I agree with the suggestions to hang out with the right crowd who will rub off on you and to exchange the word with any silly one of your choice – e.g., “what the snapple,” “oh, shnitzel.” We’re not asking you to drop your friends. If you start showing that you’re working on this, your friends will quickly learn to appreciate and respect you for that, and maybe even abstain from using coarse language in your presence. Ok, maybe it won’t happen so quickly. But it will happen, even if you don’t notice it. A refined character commands respect from others without even trying.
Take it one word at a time, or maybe one hour at a time. You got this, girl.
I saw someone squirt ketchup into his chicken soup on shabbos.
Nice one, Goq.
The Gra says that one of the most difficult mitzvos to fulfill is that of v’samachta b’chagecha. It’s not as easy as buying a new top. Hashem gave each of us the means to find true happiness within ourselves. That’s why it’s so difficult – because it’s inside of us, and we need to bring it out by arousing our neshamos through tefillah or talmud torah or hisbodedus, thinking of the beauty in creation or the incomprehensible wisdom of Hashem visible throughout everything in the world. Perhaps the above-mentioned halachos are meant as an aid for people unable to extract such simcha without external help. Just a thought.
Be happy!
Any hat he wears has to be pantone black 6C, including baseball, beret, borsalino, chullo, coonksin, deerstalker, dunce, fedora, fascinator, fez, hard, pith, sombrero, sun, top, toque, trucker, and turban.
Doesn’t dream in color.
Doesn’t have the taivah for beer cholent.
Can hold three babies and a gemorah all at once, without dropping the gemorah.
Deep fries radios and other shtus regularly.
Will write in Mashiach ben Dovid on his absentee ballot.
He should have a cheery disposition,
Rosy cheeks, no warts;
Play games, all sorts.
He must be kind, he must be witty;
Very sweet and fairly pretty.
Take me on outings, give me treats;
Sing songs, bring sweets
Never be cross or cruel,
Never give me castor oil or gruel.
Love all of our sons and daughters,
And never smell of barley water.
He shouldn’t scold or dominate.
That’s the recipe for a guy who’s top rate!
If anyone on here fits the bill, call me up.
How’s this?
It would bring me much gratification to destroy obsolete machinery by way of thermal weaponry and present the remains to a letter carrier as a heartless forewarning of the future demise of his own occupation.
Bring them to the coffee room.
I need hours in direct patient care (particularly for mental health patients) and psychology research. I think. I want to do it in Israel and I want to make money doing it, preferably. Please advise, oh righteous babbler. Thank you.
I want to go to the kotel 🙁 Mashiach, if you’re on the CR reading this right now, please come today. K thanks.
Remember when vanilla coke was a thing? SO good. Back when I liked soda.
I LOVE drinking out of baby bottles. But I can’t do it in public anymore, unfortunately.
I was just looking at a recipe for mozzarella strawberry salad with a chocolate vinaigrette. Yum!
Maybe we should start a kibbutz
Reb Yidd, I can’t believe you exposed our subterfuge. At least you don’t know all of it. It goes deeper than you’ve ever swum… BWAHAHAHA!
Pringles, if your feeling of emptiness doesn’t stem from your environment, as it ostensibly doesn’t, perhaps it’s from something inside of you. Sleep will definitely help, and chocolate can help you ignore it, but maybe you should consider speaking with a mentor, a teacher, a therapist, or someone else who could help you get in touch with your feelings, identify underlying issues, and help you change for the better. It could come from any number of reasons, including lack of self-esteem. Although they wont admit it, most people experience some feelings of emptiness at some point during their life. If this feeling is chronic, it could represent more serious mental health concerns. Wikihow has some pointers that may be helpful to you. One thing it suggested that I think is very important is “filling your life with love,” surrounding yourself with people you love and creating positive experiences with them.
Hatzlacha. We’re here for you, Pringles,
It’s been my dream for a number of years now to suggest matzah-print duct tape to Duck Brand. It would be great for packaging all our Pesachware for the year. But I’m too lazy.
You can be a madricha at a sem in Israel
I totally get you. I’ve been going to classes for legit three days and I’m falling on my face. I guess if I got more than five hours of sleep a night it would be easier to remain awake through the class. But that’s just a shot in the dark.
Jalopy – no
I don’t understand why so many people – and by people, I mean men – don’t daven from a siddur. Is it too heavy for them, or something? I’m not judging their concentration. I just think that using a text is the way to go. Why else does it exist? You just memorize it in school and then you’re set for the rest of your life? I’m also not saying that I always read every word and that I never lose focus, even though I use a siddur. But when I space out (I’m human, too, and often shluffin), I can find the place because I know which page I’m up to. Would someone care to explain? Do men never space out? What if you do, and you think you’re in an entirely different place than you really are? This is not rebuke. This is a sincere question. I know it’s not ALL men. But a lot.
Internet filters, staring at the price ring-ups at the cashier instead of at the magazines, steering clear of midtown and generally trying to avoid known pritzus locales, and all-around being a hermit.
But no matter how much you try to protect yourself, something will always infiltrate your safegaurds and borders. Climbing Mt. Everest would work fine, but it’s hard to find kosher restaurants up there. So you have to know your priorities.
Ubiquitin, I literally learned that just this year and I thought it sounded so familiar!
I can’t help but pitch in over here re what CTL said (“For every hour of class time you need 3 hours study/prep/homework for a total of 60 hours per week”) in response to Sparkly’s complaints about the time-consuming part of college.
I just want to clarify that college is only time-consuming if you actually do the hours they expect you to put in to studying and reviewing and reading ahead. You don’t really have to study – it’s only for your benefit. Just don’t expect anything over a D.
I personally love college and find it very helpful to hang out around other students who love college – that viewpoint makes the experience so much better. If you don’t like college, it’s often harder to do well, because you won’t try as hard to do well.
Good luck in all your academic endeavors, everyone!
It depends. Older than what?
Because even thought he doesn’t really need it, he may, even subconsciously, want it nonetheless. So do him a favor and ignore his needs for his taivos.
Today when I opened my browser,
I looked at which new posts were placed
In the kosher coffee room groupthink,
To see how much time I could waste.
Minute by minute, the new words were written
Dating and politics, spider advice,
The topics so typically askew.
Being able to read into the minds
Of anonymous Jews in the velt,
I felt so connected; I hope you can see
That this poem is really heartfelt.
I love reading diverse opinions
All under the umbrella of Torah,
How cool that I have an opinion
That so many people will blame?
When someone else quotes you by name.
When only my pseudo gets noticed.
And it bothers me not the remotest.
I think that the CR creation
Is unique as a tortoiseshell rat.
I vote that it stays on until end of time
+1 RebYidd
If it’s just your name you want to get around, it’s easy to do that – just commit some atrocity and get national press coverage for it. Bad publicity is still publicity.
But seriously, if you do publish a book or even article, or have done so, perhaps you can get someone to review it in a highly circulated magazine or newspaper. When people read that and like it, they may want to see what else you have to offer.
I’m curious about all these people who are asking you about spider dreams. What’s with that?
In my town, I heard they’re meant to indicate drug dealer’s place of residence or sale. But I assume Reb Yidd must be correct, because if I heard about it then I’m sure the police have heard about it way before me. So though they may have been used for drugs at one point, I think they’re a form of modern urban art now.
And here we ask the public to share all their shaking-hands stories and tips. Some people wear gloves, some cough into their hands and apologize “but I don’t want to get you sick, too,” some bring their little children with them to do the honors, some make sure to shmear something gross on their hands before meeting someone of the opposite gender, and others just stick by their guns and say the truth. The latter is preferable and creates a great opportunity for either awkwardness or a kiddush Hashem, or both, depending on how it works out. I think you did the right thing, Sparkly. If you come across confident, it can be a kiddush Hashem. You don’t have to apologize for keeping the Torah.
I got my permit at 17, if I recall correctly, but waited until I was 19 to get a license (nailed it on my 3rd try. Don’t judge). It was my own fear that precluded my obtaining a license earlier – I sincerely felt bad for all the other drivers and pedestrians who I was sure I would kill. BH, bli ayin hara, I haven’t killed anyone to date.
Now that I can drive by myself, I realize how much I was missing out on. There’s something about getting in a car and being able to do what you want/need to without depending on another driver that’s just so freeing. I know that as parents, many of you would want to restrict your children’s independence as much as possible so as to keep them out of harm’s way, but there may be drawbacks to your theory. You can’t just wait for them to magically become adults before introducing the steering wheel to them – driving and other forms of independence are how they BECOME adults. I’m not giving a set age for everyone to start driving – as parents, you know when they’re ready. But don’t wait forever. Let your kids make their own mistakes – that’s the only way they’ll mature.
We thank you from the bottom of our hearts for your generosity, Syag.
While eating deli sandwiches.
Don’t fret, MA. We’re here for you. It’s easy to stop reading the news once you realize that it’s always the same and always depressing. Personally, I’m mostly interested in new neuroscientifical discoveries, but that doesn’t waste enough time every day, so I go on the CR to fill my procrastination quota.
Correct me if I’m mistaken, but I’m fairly certain the majority of girls want non-smokers. And I think they have every right to want that – who would willingly bring a source of sakana nefashos into their home? Why should that be the norm? Something is wrong here. Do yeshivos not stress the importance of preserving your own life and those of others by avoiding smoking addictions? Measures should be set in place to prevent this from even happening in the first place – all it takes to fall into it is a bit of applied peer pressure. I know how hard it is to stop. There’s got to be a way to stop it from the start. I hope those articles Sparkly referred to earlier and this discussion will get the ball rolling, somehow. I’m scared for our future.