Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Sam I Am, you are very, very, VERY lucky that you are making a parnassah even without college. College, per se , is NOT in and of itself a guarantor of your future parnassah. But it IS the steppingstone to your future profession, MOST of which require a degree. If yours does not, great. I just wonder if you are gainfully employed either in a position that you got through nepotism (family business, etc.), or if you are in a dead end position which pays your bills for now, but from which you will not see marked advancement in the future. This is none of my business, so don’t answer me either way, but in any case, you are fortunate if you are not in need of higher education (which btw is good simply in order to be roundly-educated).
Bombmaniac, you were a tad adamant, but basically right on all counts.
Shev, commercials can be disgusting. If you are watching tv for the commercials, you may as well get rid of your tv.
I love Charades, in or out of heels, and it highlights a person’s sense of humor.
Taboo (it’s not like it sounds), charades, Scrabble, come to mind.
Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, Checkers…
MW13, no, because you know full well that YOU are judging. Otherwise,t here was absolutwely no reason for anyone to ask if any of us has a TV set? What difference does it make? (You know what difference it makes to you, so don’t be so coy).
The more things change, the more they stay the same…
I miss the good ol’ days for a lot of reasons.
Being a mensch means saying hello with a smile to anyone you know, and sometimes to someone you don’t know. Certainly it is appropriate to be friendly to someone you have already dated. Good point about not burning bridges.
Yeah – I am not loving it so much as some of you are. We have a bris this week for my new grandson, and I hate that any baby should have to be taken out in such treacherous weather, not to mention all of us having to drive to another neighborhood that is not nearby in order to get there.
You can filter the internet from the network or software. There is no filter for the tv. Also the ads are very bad on tv even on so called clean shows. And the female hosts on the shows arent dressed tznius. “
Technically, you are incorrect. There is a filter and the channels that you find objectionable can be deleted from the TV. People do that all the time, so their kids don’t inadvertently change the channel to something they would not deem appropriate for their kids.
If you are supported by your parents, in laws, Yeshiva, or wife, you are not in a situation where you have to steal, and you have fulfilled the Chazal.”
Please – you know that was not what Hashem commanded. The chiyuv of parnassah is specifically on the man. The Kesubah says nothing whatsoever about a father-in-law, father, yeshivah or any other person, being responsible for supporting a husband so he can sit and learn, and it certainly says the opposite, regarding the wife. It specifies exactly what the husband is chayav to provide for his wife. HE, no one else. One cannot twist that fact merely to suit a personal agenda, though clearly that is what has been done for the last several decades. There is absolutely no reason why a man cannot do both. My father and my brothers all did.
First of all the Jewish Press no longer calls the column “The Agunah Chronicles,” but rather, “Chronicles of Crisis,” and has done so for a long time, now. They do not focus on Agunos, but rather on all aspects of social problems in the Jewish Community.
Second,re: “It could be because if a woman gets really unreasonable, there is always the Hetter Mey’a Rabbanim option.”
It is usually the other way around. I have friends who were held up for GET ransom. That is a disgrace that any man who calls himself frum should disobey a Mitzvas Asai D’Oraisah, to give his wife a GET, by trying to get money out of her, when HE is the one responsible to give her the value stipulated in the Kesubah.
Heaven
It is the best of both worlds. You will get a shidduch with a girl who rightly appreciates that you are machshiv her need to have you actually provide what the kesubah says you will provide, because you took the time to learn how to earn a living WHILE you were learning Torah, too. Good for you! If most girls who say they believe otherwise, would be truly honest with themselves, they would recognize that im ein kemach, ein Torah.
Au contraire. if a JEW holds the door for you, be especially makpid to say thank you and make a Kiddush Hashem.
A real Kiddush Hashem is in front of Jews, not non-Jews
A real mensch makes a K”H wherever he goes and with whomever he is, Jew or not.
It IS an expected response, and because so many people fail to do as expected, it makes a Kiddush Hashem when YOU do.
I tell them to go and get a written haskama from the local Vaad Tzedaka, because we have had a rash of problems with collectors, so now all community members adhere to a shtar policy.
I had a similar experience to Metrodriver. But I was also accosted in the street, by a GOY pretending to be a Jew, waiting outside a store I was shopping in on erev Shabbos. I gave the person some money, then his wife/girlfriend came at me down the block, and I realized,a fter the fact, that they were togther. Having given them both money, I subesequently found out they were not Jewish, and were scamming the frum people in the neighborhood, asking for money “for Shabbos.” I expect that they were eventually chased away, as I have not seen them around for a while.
If someone asks them to do so, it would be disresepctful to do otherwise. Remember, in the olden days, no one had last names. Tehy were known by their first names, i.e. Mottel the Tailor. Hillel. One might preface that name with Rav, or Reb, but the first name was the only name in msot cases. So it was not disrespectful l’chatchilah. I have always preferred to be called by my given name. the only exception is when I first meet the younger person, and I want to see if his or her middos are sufficiently respectful in other areas. If not,then I remain Mrs. ______ to them. I have yet to be disappointed.
I wanted to add, if a NON-JEW holds the door for you, be especially makpid to say thank you and make a Kiddush Hashem. I have unfortunately seen the opposite when a bulvanish person swept past the guy who was holding the door for him, like he was royalty and expected it to be done, without even looking at the person. I was coming through the doorway next, and the guy continued to hold the door for me (even after being treated rudely by the other person), and I said thank you, and what a pleasure it was to see that chivalry is alive and well. He was most appreciative of my acknowledgement of his nicety.
“secondly since when do you have to thank someone for holding a door “
EVERY time they do this for you. Didn’t your mother teach you about good manners? I am surprised that any frum person whould say what you just did.
Popa is correct that not always does someone realize you held the door for them. But if they DO realize it, a simple thanks is warranted. Nobody is your personal doorman. It is a kindness that they held it for you. And people who do not appreciate that kindness deserve to have the door slammed in their faces. JMO.
Seasons is a somewhat boring name. I got their rationale from their explanation, but it still is boring, compared to the many names that I heard from other people (not to mention the ones I submitted, of course!) I wish them much mazel and hatzlacha, however.
Women do not withhold a GET, some MEN do. Women may refuse to accept a GET, but the man still has an out with a heter meah rabbonim. In the very olden pre-takanas R’ Gershom days, he was permitted to marry a second wife anyhow. She was NEVER permitted to take a second husband! The agunah problem is pervasively the woman’s problem. yes, there are exceptions to this, but the man still has an option to take.
Tutoring
Usually on Thursday, often on Wednesday night, and always on Friday AND Shabbos itself. We set our candles for the leichter for the next Shabbos, as soon as it is Motzai Shabbos.
Take the baby for a ride in the car, put him on a washing machine that is on spin cycle, watch your diet when you are nursing (the same foods that upset your stomach can upset his),baby swing, feed only a little at a time before burping the baby. Pray to hang in there, because this too, shall pass.
Mazel tov
For all those husbands who worry about being fattened up by their wives’ excellent cooking – here’s an exercise you can do to stave off the extra pounds. Pick up your clothing that is strewn all around the bedroom floor, take out the garbage daily, load and unload the laundry into the washer/dryer, and push yourself away from the table three times a day. That ought to do it!
Continued refuos, be Happy.
menschlechkeit is not gender specific. It refers to the trait of a human being who has good middos (menschen does not refer only to men, it is more like mankind, the collective noun, which is inclusive of women). At least, this is how I understand it.
If someone holds a door open for me, I make a point of saying thank you, and sometimes remark, “Nice to see that chivalry is alive and well. Thank you.” That always brings a smile from them.
When meshulachim come to my door late at night (as they often do), they are invading my daled amos inappropriately, and I will not open my door late at night to ANY stranger. There are thieves who dress up like chassidim and pretend they are collecting, in order to get someone to open the door at night. Sorry. Don’t do it. And if I don’t answer the door (as happened recently because I was injured and couldn’t get down the stairs, STOP banging on it or ringing the bell. I am happy to give tzedaka (wish nobody NEEDED it, though), but some meshulachim forget that balabatim are ALSO people.
And if you really want to know why some meshulachim are ignored, maybe they had the chutzpah to tell you you did not give them enough money and they’ll take a check. Or maybe as one guy did with me, they throw the money back in your face because they don’t like the amount. That happened to me. Someone who REALLY is collecting for ehrliche reasons, will not turn any contribution away, and certainly will not act like a bulvan.
I would check thoroughly into the situation, see what the issues were. If he watched his mother being abused by a miserable excuse for a husband, I would want to make sure his middow were nothing like his father’s. Sometimes two really fine, nice people just cannot remain married to each other. The Torah provides for that. If the mother had problems getting the GET, that would raise a red flag to me. Each situation has to be judged on its own merits.
A much better version of me. Failing that, myself at a much younger age. I would never presume to aspire to be Moshe Rabbeinu, because a) I’m unworthy to even contemplate such a thing, and b) as Wolf pointed out, he had a lot of problems
Klutz kasha time – is it Purim so soon?
There is a greater mitzvah to learn in a language in which you truly can understand what you are learning. You can be just as amayl B’Torah when you read Artscroll Gemarahs in English, especially if you are not familiar with Hebrew or Aramaic. If you read in Hebrew, thinking you are a big shot, but don’t really understand the nuances of the language, what are you really learning? Isn’t the object of learning to actually LEARN????? That’s why IMO there is no purpose to learning in Yiddish nowadays, unless Yiddish is your familiar language (which it still is for many). Certainly there is no difference between learning in Yiddish or English, in this day and age. Torah was taitched in Yiddish because decades ago THAT was the language common to most Jews. I doubt most Rabbonim were concerned about that not being sufficient AMAYLUS.
I missed the eclipse that was lunar
I wish I’d awakened much sooner.
But I was so tired
That in sleep I was mired,
And didn’t get up until noon-er.
“When you’re children start acting violently and immorally”
I will not address the grammatical/spelling error in your sentence. My children grew up watching tv, and none of them has turned out either violent or immoral. I think that many of us tend to make rather sweeping statements when trying to make a point, often at the expense of the limits of exaggeration. Points are made far better when there is no hysterical hyperbole attached. For example, there is a clear and direct correlation between excessive TV watching and obesity in those children who are getting little exercise, due to their couch potato habits. There is a dumbing down of our culture. Children read less. These are real concerns.
OTOH, our kids are more well-informed about the world around them. They can watch some really excellent programming, they can learn to read at an earlier age (my son was reading at age 3, when Sesame Street and the Electric Company made it all click into place), and they can be exposed to GOOD things which they might otherwise not see, such as plays, classical music, historical novels, etc.)
Everything in life has the potential to be good or bad, even drinking water, if done to excess. All things in moderation, can prove to be beneficial. You don’t want a TV? Don’t have one. But there is no reason to disparage those who use their tvs in a judicious and positive way, to enhance their enjoyment of the world around them. And if you watch movies on the computer, you are “watching TV,” whether you are willing to admit it to yourself or not.
TMB, I hear the sources you quoted, but I also wonder if they refer to a specific action or area in which KA”V comes before one’s wife. I cannot fathom how that could be a blanket statement for EVERYTHING,e specially in view of the point Hashem made of commanding a man to leave his parents… v’chulu.
Please do not speak for frummer girls, So right. Any girl worth her salt appreciates being treated properly amd considerately. If they do not, then it is likely because they were brought up by fathers with your attitude, and did not see their own mothers treated with respect. I could see a girl telling a guy it’s not necessary, but don’t try to convince me they are turned off by thoughtful behavior.
It isn’t. What’s next, two separate wombs when a mother is carrying twins, a boy and a girl?
OY, Aries. Refuah shelaima. I totally empathize with you, as I have my own Tzoros with walking at the moment (knee issues). Please do not ty to rush the healing process and follow all doc orders.
I keep a fan on 365 nights a year, to drown out any annoying sounds. Sometimes it even works. I do not recommend this method when you have infants and small children, however. (And yes, I could hear a smoke alarm with the fan on).
“You and your husband eat yeshivah bochurim for brunch on Friday mornings?”
what can I say – when I tell them I want to have them for lunch, I mean it literally!
“I do think if its important to your spouse, you should do it, even if you don’t think its a big deal. This goes both ways”
Most important point of all. But also IMO, even if you personally do not consider it a big deal, since many people do, it should be done as a show of good manners. if your mother-in-law were getting in the car, the son-in-law would not open the door for her???? Kovod should be shown to all people.
Yoga is based in Avoda Zarah, but most frum people don’t realize it. And there are even frum people who teach yoga classes. They look at it as exercise and relaxation, not realizing that the motions are based on mamesh A”Z.
Yep, Mod 80. All smart husbands know that if something is really important to their wives (like going to visit her family, even if they bore him to sleep and he would rather go for a root canal), he should go. And be pleasant to them. He will reap the benfits of being a “sensitive and thoughtful” husband.
I am a female. Most people already know that. And I think it is true that different genders respond differently to posts. Women have binah yesairah, and men think in a linear way. It has to affect our way of looking at different issues.
As the expression “smart cookie” is used primarily by females in my experience, I automatically assumed you are a “She.”