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I did not hear about this. How sad!
I personally always opened the locks from inside, for the guy. That’s my nature. But the guy also always opened my door for me first. Nowadays almost everyone has automatic locks that open simultaneously on all sides.
Any guy who says it shouldn’t be done, or cannot understand why it matters to girls, is not very considerate in this particular area, and possibly others. It MATTERS to girls. So if that is true, that is reason enough to do it, even if you silently object. Keep it to yourself and you will seem less boorish. What is the expression – Better to be silent and THOUGHT a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
I always wish Ad Meah V’esrim in good Gezunt. Otherwise, 120 years can seem like…well… 120 really BAD years.
Healthy???? It is ESSENTIAL!!!!!!!! it is very important for kids to see that their parents have a life outside of being mom and dad, and that their parents care enough about each other to WANT to spend time alone. It a very healthy model for the children to emulate. My hubby and I go out every Friday morning (he is retired and his retirement job is M-Th only)for a shared tuna bagel (not to be confused with a Yeshivah bochur by that description)brunch, and in the warmer weather we try to make Tuesday nights date night (free concerts in the summer, or out for pizza, etc.) In the winter it is a litte harder to get me out of the house at night on a regular basis.
I was sleeping and my hubby, who was awake didn’t want to wake me up. When I complained to him that the next one exactly like this one won’t be until 12/21/94, he said he will try to remember to wake me THEN. His cast comes off in 6 weeks.
Oh yeah, Phillybubby. There is nothing, and I mean nothing, better than that.
“I disagree. A son has to listen to his parents first. A daughter has to listen first to her husband. Jewish Law 101”
Is So right really Mosherose? It is specific in the Torah in Breishis, that when a man marries he must leave his parents and cleave to his wife. That means he is now responsible first and foremost to his wife. He may not be disrespectful to his parents (or hers, either, for that matter), but his first loyalty is to his wife.
Lately? Standing up (no cartilage in either knee). Even the Orthovisc shots were not as painful as my knee joints have been. And no, it has not helped much yet.
Another big OW – hitting my humerus.
overpriced
Swift was funny and intelligent. But HIS modest proposal is very different from the type of proposal those girls are waiting for.
If it is stam a telemarketer, you can sign up with the Do Not Call Registry, and they are forbidden to call you, or risk a heavy fine if you report them. if it is a charitable organization, they are exempt from this rule and can call you, but may not do so at too early or too late an hour. You can discourage calls by picking up the phone and then walking away. You can also tell people you do not make pledges over the phone. Or, just do not answer.
what if you had been standing outside the store and a passerby ask the same question? Stop worrying so much. The person asked a serious question and your answer was correct. But if you are worried, ask your rov.
I definitely do not buy into the “gentler sex” notion that men should be more respectful to women than to other men, and if any yeshiva is teaching that, they are wrong. “
While I often agree with you, this is an area where I will agree to disagree. men should be respectful to each other, OF COURSE, but i believe in good manners, and a lady should be treated as a lady. Part of why they are not, these days, is that so many young women unfortunately do NOT act like genteel ladies. But that does not mean men should be ill-mannered boors. One teaches by example. If you act like a mensch on the subway, the people observing you will absorb your act by osmosis, if nothing else. the more Jewish people treat EACH OTHER with derech eretz, the more it will be found in the general society. Derech eretz literally means, the way of the land. It presupposes that the way of the land is proper and considerate.
Thank you, Phyllis. Kind of you to say so.
It is also polite for men to get rid of the spiders.
I just lost my mother in law recently and I am absolutely devastated. She was my second mother and I truly miss her. “
I am truly sorry for your loss. When my mom died, only my husband and I were with her, and I had never witnessed such grief pouring out of him before. Love is love, whether by blood ties or by heart.
The coffeeroom should put a “TV” mark under the screennames of posters with televisions, so others know where their non-Torah views on Jewish issues come from. “
It is just too tempting to refrain from responding, but being a TV-owner, I have learned a little something about censorship, so I will press the “mute” button and restrain myself.
The Kennedy curse is well-documented. Never underestimate the power of a tzaddik.
I see nothing terrible about asking a question. Those who choose not to answer, will not answer. But whatever your answer is, don’t feel you have to defend it. Just don’t judge anyone negatively, either way.
I agree about the parents who let older YOUNG kids watch the even younger ones. I don’t view it as a pet peeve, however, but rather as something that makes me indignant.
Anon, thank you for your kind words. I am so sorry to hear about what your own experience has been. Sometimes one has to cut one’s losses. You still need to be respectful (as per kibud av in the torah, even when the Av or Em is not so nice), but you can do what you are doing and limit the interaction between you.
Have you tried to write them a letter expressing your hurt, giving examples of what they have done (i.e., mocking your daughter, which is a BIG thing in my eyes, more than if they mocked me)?
Hashem told us in Parshas Noach that a rainbow is a sign for our remembering the bris He made not to destroy us (even when we deserve it). There is no such reference to a lunar eclipse in Tanach, is there?
Of PBA was serious, tsk, tsk. If not, then So Right is so wrong yet again. My only exception would be if the bochur was carrying a load of heavy seforim. Otherwise, let him stand, he sits enough all day in Beis Medrash (that’s why they call it YESHIVA).
Virtually all of the above (some of which I did not yet read, because this was so lengthy), but also, people who say nukular, when they mean to say nuc-lear, axe, when they mean ask, and
“I could care less,” when the actual expression is “I could NOT care less.” The former phrase means the precise opposite of its intent. What they are actually saying is, they care a LOT, and they mean to say they don’t care at all.
It makes no difference what the ORIGINs of the word romance and chivalry were, in terms of our understanding of the concepts today. It is romantic for a man to buy his wife flowers for no special reason, tell her to go relax while he watches the kids, spend time with her late at night just talking, and yes, open the door for her. It is chivalrous for him to put her needs ahead of his own, warm up her car on a cold day, give her his jacket when she is cold, and yes, OPEN THE DOOR FOR HER. Talk about tznius all you want, if a guy won’t do that, he is a boor. He is supposed to protect her and show more kovod to her than to himself. These are ways in which he can do so.
I have no problem with owning a TV. There is a LOT of really excellent TV well-worth watching, and a lot of garbage. Do you own a book? Maybe we should not read anything anymore, or get educated, or go out in the street because of what we might see out there, or work in a workplace where we could potentially see something we shouldn’t, or eat out in restaurants, or listen to the news ont he radio, or read a newspaper. Maybe we should just return to the Dark Ages while we are at it. But wait – bad things happened then, too.
Own a TV or don’t, but don’t make negative judgments on the basis of who does and who does not. Because when you do that, you are no holier than the person you judge negatively.
Stand up for a lady, unless you are infirm in some way. It actually IS harder for some of us to stand on the train. I remember standing up for a pregnant woman with another child, when NONE of the able-bodied men would, They either buried their noses in a paper, or actually closed their eyes when they saw her come in. Sorry, but that is just not acceptable behavior. Our society not only is showing poorer manners, but now you are looking to JUSTIFY that sad state of affairs???? On the plus side, I actually noted a Yeshivah bochur get up for a woman once, and I was impressed and wanted to ask what Yeshivah he goes to.
So Right – so wrong.
To the genreal frum public at large: Only a bulvan would seek to use the Torah, the paradigm of menschlechkeit between odom and chaveiro, as an excuse to avoid acting like a mensch. A door should always be opened for a lady. My husband still does that for me after 34 years, and my kids do the same. I likewise hold the door for him, when the situation warrants (like if I am already there at the door and he is coming up the walk). Simple courtesy is NEVER, repeat NEVER against the Torah. People have to stop trying to use Tznius as an excuse for their boorish behavior. EVERYTHING can be done in a tzniusdig manner, if your intention is to actually be tzniusdig, and not mnerely to use tznius as an avoidance of good manners.
No, it is legally called child abuse. Only a parent can give a potch where Hashem padded us for that purpose, but never a smack.
Self-defense is a different issue. I am not talking about anything in the Gemorah, because we live in a country where the Gemorah will not count in a legal court of law, so it’s ebst to recognize that before lifting one’s hand to a student.
Yes.
What is a virtual band?
Very funny, Yeshivaguy1.
I was zochah to have wonderful, loving in-laws, and so was my husband. The secret? We each treated the other parents as we wanted our own parents treated, that is to say, with kovod, with thoughtfulness, and with love. They, in turn, treated us the same way.
My dear MIL O”H, was bedridden for the last thirt-five years of her life, and was blind also. I made sure we came to visit every Sunday, and whenever I gave birth, we always stopped by their house on the way home from the hospital, so my MIL could “hold” the baby (with help, of course, as she couldn’t feed herself). This was a very big deal to her, and though it was a little difficult for me, and out of the way to go there, it was worth the nachas it gave her to be part of the baby’s birth. I also called every single day to tell her of each latest chochma, even when there was nothing new to tell, because it kept her in the loop to ehar from emn each day. I am not saying this to boast about what a great DIL I was,(though I think I was), but rather to show how by being giving, you can forge a wonderful and loving relationship. Believe me, I got the love back ten-fold. And my husband acted the same way to my parents and they adored him.
Everyone is different in their recovery. My friend had it done and she was incapacitated for a few weeks.
Girls should always dress nicely.
Boys should always dress nicely.
Both genders should always present themselves in a neat, hygienic, and attractive way. To do otherwise is to say, “Hashem, I do not give two cents for the face or body You gave me. People can take me or leave me.”
There is nothing wrong with wanting to look nice or wanting to be with someone who appeals to you. I would repeat that line, but I am too lazy to type it again.You knwo what – I will, anyway. There is nothing wrong with wanting to look nice or wanting to be with someone who appeals to you.
Goyim want to marry Jews. Jewish men are perceived as those who do not beat their wives, get shikker on a regular basis, or mess with other women. They are educationally ambitious, and generally make good fathers. Jewish women think that non-Jewish men are more exciting than their Jewish counterparts.
Someone is trying to set up my daughter. She sent the family her shidduch profile (if I hear “resume” one more time…!) and despite her mailos, I get back a reply, they might be interested, send a photo. In spite of my personal feelings about this, I sent the photo and said, now I want to see a photo of the boy. Fair is fair. It is DISGRACEFUL for ANYONE to require a picture of someone before accepting a shidduch. yes, they have to feel attraction to each other, but that should come when they meet, not when they view a picture.
FTR, when I was a college-age girl, I saw a picture of a boy in my cousin’s graduating class, and developed a “crush.” It went on for years, all the while I was meeting some very nice guys who wer not for me. As circumstances sometimes happen, someone redt a shidduch to me with this fellow, some three or four years later. I was so excited to be meeting him finally. IRL, he was an ill-mannered slob, and I was never more disappointed. Pictures mean nothing, and with all the takanos an kol koreys, you would think THAT would be something the rabbonim would forbid people from doing.
Depends on the oven. It means to preheat to that degree, it can take 15 minutes or more, depending.
Even a Conservative Jew can be “frum” in the sense that he adheres to his religious beliefs. In my understanding, one is frum if he is shomer shabbos, kashrus, and taharas mishpocha/morality. if he is following those mitzvos, chances are, he is following the others, too.
I have one more thing to add – our thirst for knowledge and learning in all areas
Our innate sense of doing chessed, and having good middos
our love of family and tradition,
Our spirituality
You’re info is too sketchy. Do you mean a Tzedaka meshulach, a very emotionally needy person, a mentally ill guy who keeps coming to your door, a shidduch that you don’t want? What?
No one has the right to tell you, however well-intentioned, that you should just let the person come around because it’s your extra mitzvah. I am in the same situation with several different such people, because I try to always be friendly to everyone I meet, and some interpret that as a sign on my head saying, “This is the sucker you have been waiting for to dump your tzoros on.”
I have ended up with people who are VERY, VERY emotionally needy calling me up to cry every day, even late at night. The first several times I was empathetic to their pain and even tried to give them sound beneficial advice (which they never took, anyway) to help their situation. But it is emotionally exhausting and no longer a mitzvah when you have other crises in your own life to deal with, and their problems are weighing you down.
This might sound mean to some, and I sincerely don’t mean to be, but you cannot be everyone’s best bud, and you cannot solve everyone’s tzoros, or be responsible for their happiness. Always be a good person, but you have to be able to distance yourself sometimes. If they call, screen the calls, if they show up at your door, either do not be home, or actually go out and tell them you have an appointment. Eventually they will find another person, they always do.
The mesorah of not looking at ugly things during pregnancy has its basis in the story of Yaakov Avinu and his flocks of sheep that gave birth to speckled, spotted, and ringed lambs when the mothers looked at the staffs that he carved in those designs when mating.
The not walking in socks goes to the halacha of an aveil not wearing shoes. So it is an ayin hara to walk in shoeless socks UNLESS one is sitting shiva. Bare feet are not the same problem.
I held the havdala candle at least six feet high every motzai Shabbos and STILL married a short guy. So there.
“Giving 2 names is worthless. The point of naming after the niftar is so it should be a iyluy for the neshoma, giving 2 names is like naming after somone else! “
I must respectfully disagree with you, for several reasons. There is no halacha whatsoever to name after someone. it is a custom only, one that has a strong hold in the frum community, but is still not a requirement. Also, it is considered to be not mazeldig to name for a niftar who died tragically or too young. Should that niftar NEVER have someone named for him? The only way to do that and not feel concerned about the mazel issue is to ADD a name of someone who died healthy and old, or a name like Chaim.
I also still believe it IS to the iluy of the neshama even if only one of the names is for that person. And what if the niftar was not frum, but still was a wonderful person? It always is good to use two names, if so desired.
I just saw a video of Georgie, the wigmaker who actually made this custom wig. She asserts it was indeed worth 3K after it was made, custom colored, highlighted, cut, and styled, and that the couple in court are ehrliche people who were not trying to commit a fraud. She further states that she believes the judge might have called the other store by the Georgie name (which belongs to her ex, though she didn’t specify anythign regarding him). Her main thought was that this was terrible loshon hara against innocent people, and that klal Yisroel needs to help each other, not look to spread rumors and lies. She’s right. it’s none of our business how much money other people spend on what they purchase, even if we think it’s frivolous. That was not what this case was about. It was about causing damage to someone’s property. Period.
No chesedname, not everything is a matter of halacha or haskafa. If I decide to go for a walk outside, I don’t need to ask my Rov for his p’sak on whether I should or should not. Everything we do is to serve Hashem, but not every way in which we serve Hashem is halachic int he sense of requiring a p’sak.
Of course Sheitlech that look like hair are Assur. It’s not what I feel. It’s HALACHA. “
Quote me exact chapter and verse, and especially the lines that say in those exact words, what you asserted.
If a borrowed housekeeper doing a favor for someone, negligently put something in the wash that was there by mistake WITHOUT CHECKING WITH THE “guest” boss, she would be guilty. I would probably say, forget about it, but 3K is 3K and nothing to sneeze at.
Kids ARE affected by their names. Personally, I wouldn’t use a Yiddish name to begin with, because it is no more Jewish than an English name (but that’s another discussion thread). I only named my kids in Loshon Kodesh. If a name is really unpleasant or funny-sounding and could lead to the child being made fun of, DON’T DO IT, no matter how choshuv the person was, whose name you want to give your child. And if your last name might be problematic when the first name is added in, I would also think twice (like naming a child whose family name is “Berlin,” Chaim.
Take the child to the doctor. You can also steam the bathroom and sit in there with him for a while. Sometimes even a drive in the cold will help.
and you so graciously offered to have your shiksa wash my clothes for me “
I have a SHIKSA??????????? Why didn’t anyone TELL me?