oomis

“Are you makpid never to Jaywalk? “

Sorry to burst your bubble, but the answer is yes I am makpid not to jaywalk. I am a real straight arrow, and it drives my family crazy. I don’t speed, I don’t go through red lights, I come to a full stop at a stop sign, I give back the change when I am overpaid by a cashier, and so forth. I am not a tzadeikes, but I try not to make a chillul Hashem. especially in the eys of the secular world.

My question about being makpid is that some people will choose what miztvos they want tobe absolutely “makpid” to fulfill, when it has an element of the forbidden in it. SO if there seems to be a mitzvah of drinking on Purim, by all that’s holy they are GOING TO FULFILL THAT MITZVAH to the nth degree!!!!!!!!!! Are they such chassidim to giving tzedaka, getting to the minyan on time, not talking during davening,being respectful to their parents, as they are to making sure they get that drink on Purim????

I once had a very liberated (Reform, I think) married Jewish woman tell me arrogantly how insulting it was that women were not counted in a minyan or couldn’t get an aliyah at the omud. My response to her was very short and sweet. I asked her if she bensched licht on Friday night, if and when she baked bread if she took off challah and made a bracha (when necessary), and if she went to the mikveh every month? She looked at me like I was from Mars. I explained to her that there were specific mitzvahs that were given to women to fulfill, and if she could not be bothered to fulfill the ones she WAS commanded to do, why one arth was she complaining about the ones she was NOT commanded to do?

It seems so odd to me for someone to be so worried about fulfilling the ad d’lo yada “mitzvah” unless he is equally committed to and actually fulfilling the mitzvos that we are chayav in for the REST of the year. I tend to feel that Hashem is probably less concerned with one’s wild celebration of something that did not even take place in E”Y, than He is with our not causing a chillul in the eyes of the goyim and possibly breaking some of the Aseres Hadibros because some of us are too drunk to care what they are doing. JMO.

“HOW COME ALL YOU NAY SAYERS THINK YOU KNOW BETTER THAN THE CHACHAMIM IN THE GEMARA ANd dont tell me todays differant. thats what the reform say. ask your rav what to do and if he thinks your at risk of over doing maybe he will tell you not to. but as of now lets keep it status quoe and follow what were told “

Lavdavka, as long as you are as dedicated to doing the other mitzvos as strongly you are to this

“one” I have no problem. DO you give kibud av v’eim, keep Shabbos,kashrus, and all mitzvos bein adam l’chaveiro to the same degree as you do getting drunk on Purim? If so, go for it, but for the sake of all pedestrians and other drivers, stay out of your car.

“When everyones drinking it’s hard to stop underaged kids frum getting it.if rabbi so and so is drinking why can’t I?”

Peerimsameach – just substitute the expression “doing drugs” for “drinking” in your sentence, and you will see how incredibly wrong you are. Peer pressure will always be around. The idea is NOT to do something just ebcause everyone else is, if it’s wrong. Getting that drunk is worse than wrong. It is dangerous, and potentially life-threatening to the drinker and to others, and can cause a great Ch”H just by the drinker’s behavior being observed by other people.

Nathan21,The only thing that you wrote that was correct is that you do not know me from a hole int he wall. I have to tell you that you implied something terribly offensive. First of all, I am not overprotective of my kids. My husband and I taught them to behave responsibly, and have 5 adult children all of whom are exceptional young men and women. We are Machmir Modern Orthodox (to put a label on something, which I hate to label), so all of your assumptions are based on nothing concrete.

My sons (though not my daughters) do drink a bit on Purim, but a) they watch their alcohol intake, b) eat sufficient food along with the drink c) space the drinks and d) DO NOT EVER DRIVE, even though they rarely drink more than two drinks in a particular span of time (enough for the alcohol to be absorbed). NONE of my kids ever went off the derech, and that implication that “overprotectiveness” (as you see it)somehow causes that as a fait accompli, is insulting. It is far more likely that kids go off the derech when their parents do NOT care about them or get involved with them. When kids come home to empty houses after school and have a lot of free time on their hands with no real supervision, that is when they get into trouble. NOT when their parents teach them how to be responsible. I believe things are good in moderation, though underage kids should never be drinking because dina d’malchusah dina and it is against the law. My children are all,as I stated adults, over 21, so they can drink what they want, and they do so with maturity. Would you call a parent overprotective for teaching their child not to speed when driving?

I think that parents and R”Y need to get together and insist that the rebbeim start teaching the boys a different form of ad d’lo yada.

“I went out on a date once with a guy and we ended up talking about Purim costumes… when he proceeded to tell me that his friend had dressed up on Purim as – a toilet seat!! I was seriously”

Was he flush with success? (Don’t answer me – Keep a lid on it)

Aries, your posts just keep getting better and better. You should write a column.

“The ladies by wanting to be equal with men- did indeed take a second curse upon themselves”

Realtalk: What Jewish women who are frum, ehrliche, and b’nos Yisroel, ever said they wanted to be EQUAL with men? Women may want to be treated with the kovod and appreciation that they deserve for the responsibilities which they so admirably take upon themselves, but equality (as we understand it in today’s terms) is a non-Jewish concept.

Aries: I totally agree with everything you said, with the very slight exception about the LSATS. Most boys who sit and learn do NOT take the LSATS or go to law school. It would take too much time away from Torah for them. And even more of them do NOT make the plan that you mention, and you are right – they should.

Whatever the doctor on TV said, ibuprofen is well known to have irritative tendencies on the gastric lining. Useless advice is fine to be posted here but not dangerous advice…80

It depends on what she is dressed as. Tzniusdig clothing can be in constume form.

GOOD CHODESH EVERYONE!!!!!!

My Rov says to drink wine only until one has a “buzz” or gets a bit sleepy, but not to get smashed, as that leads to chillul Hashem and potentially to accidents.

Jphone – yasher Koach. Your answer was better than mine. Short and sweet.

People have a chiyuv to give shalach manos to someone. That does not mean they have to give it to 50 someones. They are yotzai the mitzvah ish l’rayahu, by giving two items that are ready to eat as is. The cards really are more in keeping with matanos l’evyonim than mishloach manos, as they go to tzedaka. So the question is, are they yotzai on the matanos l’evyonim with these cards, or must they physically give tzedaka besides that to two poor people?

You wrote so eloquently. I sent an e-mail to the governor, but ICOT, your words were more compelling than mine. I hope he listens. The thing is, had I not known it was a Jewish man who committed the killing, I probably would be a hypocrite and feel he deserves what he gets. That disturbs me on so many levels, but I do wish the death penalty were applied more frequently to those who have deliberately and without question, violently taken someone’s life.

nameless, though the intent of this apocryphal story is clear, and teaches a TRULY nice piece of mussar, I doubt such a thing ever happened. First of all, it is probably illegal to even MENTION religion in a job interview (in the context in which it was stated, and possibly illegal to even ask someone if he is Jewish), and no intelligent CEO would refuse to hire a competent person because he was not “loyal” to his religion. If that same boss wanted him to work on Shabbos, he would get very upset when the employee started to explain why he couldn’t do so. And a boss who would extrapolate from the desire to appear neat for a job interview, that a person’s future loyalty to a company would be questionable, is just ridiculous and should not be in a position of authority. More important – is one even allowed to arrange for an interview of this type during the Nine Days?

Very inspiring stories.

Let me know when we are on the same madreiga as the Avos and Emahos, not to mention our grandparents, so we can talk about it.

bored – you are actually well-named for my suggestion. Why don’t you simply take a round ball of dough and using your finger BORE a hole through the center and stretch it slightly. You will have a perfect shape and perfect bagel hole.

I am concerned that alcohol might damage the dresser. Try a little on a cotton swab in an inconspicuous place. I would ask a furniture store if they had a recommendation for this. I had another thought just this second – have you tried a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser? Try using it, again, on an inconspicuous area, to make sure it does not harm the finish of the furniture. I have used it to clean my walls from all sorts of stains, successfully.

Poster, the “craze” of chiropractic has been around for many, many, MANY decades. Chiropractors ARE doctors, they are doctors of chiropractic medicine. The medical establishment has no respect for the hard work and courses of study that chiropractors must do, in order to become licensed in their field and earn the title of Dr. They do the same anatomy, physiology, biology course that are given in med school, as well as study nutrition, vitamins, etc. and receive extensive training in both spinal manipulation and the use of modalities in addition to hands-on spinal adjustments. I personally have never experienced acupuncture, but if it alleviates pain in someone, with no need for drugs, I am all for it. There is plenty of room for all types of beneficial therapy INCLUDING conventional medicine.

I am not taking Jose or anyone else personally, because they do not know what they are talking about, and that’s ok, there are many times that I express an opinion and do not necessarily know what I am talking about, either, because I am misinformed.

” so that if they ever need to they can get a job “

In today’s economy, unfortunately, that doesn’t always guarantee employment. personally, I would never allow a child of mine to get married unless he had a job already, or she was marrying someone who had a job. The nebulous future “if they ever need a job” might shock them to discover that there IS NO JOB out there. So IMO, they should be ensuring that they can take care of their business, before adding another person’s life into that equation, by making certain they are already employed.

I also believe that being able to learn at will is a wonderful thing. But we are not living in a society that leaves that as a practical option for most of us. Parnassah has to come from somewhere. I know, I know, it’s from Hashem, but you know what, Hashem is the one who said, “B’zyas apecha tochal lechem” and He did not say “b’zayas apei avichem tochlu lechem,” for the future generations. Clearly His intention was for us to earn our keep AND learn and follow the Torah. If we did not earn a living, we would be unable to keep MANY of the 613 Mitzvos, as so many of them relate to farming, raising sheep and cattle, giving tzedaka (from what money, if we are not earning any?), and so forth. So many halachos relate to business practices, that it simply cannot be that Hashem does not expect us to put these laws to use in some way. And if we are not prepared to earn any living, there is no absolute certainty that we are in dire need of such, that we will find a job falling from thin air, just because that’s what we need.

SJSinNYC, when someone calls me (often during dinnertime) and tries to browbeat me, I politely say, “thank you for your call,” and hang up. Doing a job or not, they are entering YOUR home with the phone call, and if they cannot be polite, they can take a hike.

Thank you, Bemused, for your reply. The funny thing is I re-thought what I posted originally, and what you read was the “calmer” version. I have spent my entire life listening to unknowledgeable people put down chiropractors, and as I said, I come from a family of them. It was hurtful hearing ignorance being spouted all those years, particularly when my father and other relatives in the field gave so much of themselves to be healers.

My dad never told a patient to avoid traditional medical care (the biggest canard spreasd by the AMA is that chiropractors denounce traditional medicine and boast that THEY can cure anything). He always advised people to seek medical attention and ALSO go for chiropractic treatment where indicated. When he knew someone had tremendous medical bills and no insurance, he either treated him for free or for a greatly reduced fee. There were people who came to me when I sat shiva for him, who were total strangers to me, but wanted to tell me how they painfully hobbled into his office bent over and walked out like menschen. Truly,with Hashem guiding his hands, he was literally “zokeif kefufim.”

Chiropractic treatments cannot help in ALL situations, to be sure, and severe scoliosis is probably one of them, but neither does conventional medicine always have the answers or prove to be efficacious for all conditions. The idea is to try to be openminded.

How do you know when sour cream goes bad?

If you can afford to send him, I think it’s a wonderful experience, if they go to the right place for THAT CHILD. My son had an amazing 2 years in a Yeshivah that was perfect for him. The experience also helped him to grow in other ways, socially, independently, in his relationship with his rebbie, and in his appreciation for everything we did to enable him to go to learn there for those two years. He came back even more of a mensch than he already was, and we were already pretty happy with him before he left. E”Y learning is not for everyone, and everyone is not for learning in E”Y. Know your child.

realtalk, this sounds like a story about the girl Ahuva (I forget the last name) who became a giyoress?