refoelzeev

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Viewing 47 posts - 1 through 47 (of 47 total)
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  • in reply to: Your 21 year old son may be ready for marriage #1781667

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    I find it interesting that Joseph has failed to comment on my point. Shtika kehodaah?

    in reply to: Your 21 year old son may be ready for marriage #1781492

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    @joseph they also encouraged getting married at 14. No gadol today would advocate that, and you know it. Times have changed.

    in reply to: Your 21 year old son may be ready for marriage #1781414

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    @rebyidd23 you can’t make decisions for your kids, but it is a parent’s responsibility to try to stop their kids from making irresponsible and reckless life decisions, that affect others as well as themselves. Plus, if they want support (which at 18/21 they’ll need), they’d best listen to their parents.

    in reply to: Your 21 year old son may be ready for marriage #1781309

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    Unfortunately divorce rates in the Frum community are on the rise. I believe this is because many people are not prepared for what marriage is about, and have false expectations. When those expectations aren’t met, they think they made a mistake, and end things. They don’t realize that divorce won’t solve their misconceptions.

    I believe very strongly that encouraging 21 year old boys to get married is just going to exasperate the problem. They’re even less likely to be mature enough to know what it takes to have a successful marriage.

    I think a better solution for the shidduch crisis is remove the arbitrary and ridiculous stigma against dating a girl older than you. The 24 year old guys should be encouraged to date 24 year old girls, and above. Obviously not a 40 year old woman, but a year or two is no big deal, and a 26 year old with G-d’s help can have many children. So that’s no excuse

    in reply to: Should teachers/rebbis get a full time salary? #1565355

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    I don’t know why you assume that they don’t work a regular full time amount. If anything they work overtime.

    in reply to: Grape juice for kiddish and arba kosos #1562444

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    Rav Moshe holds חירות is only expressed through an intoxicating beverage. Grape juice doesn’t cut it for him. Not everyone agrees.

    in reply to: Reformed Are Jews? #1553620

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    @ctrebbe I’ve read teshuvos from chashuve poskim who disagree with some of your assumptions. I don’t necessarily agree with them though, as other poskim who I usually follow argue.

    In any event your statement about being motzi them in kiddush is misleading. You don’t need arvus to be motzi others. Only if you were already yotzi do you need arvus to be motzi. So when you make kiddush for the first time, you can be motzi them even if they aren’t subject to arvus (yes I know about the MA and bring yotzi kiddush with Maariv; the MB and AH argue vehemently against it).

    Also teshuva is irrelevant to the discussion. Even if certain “club benefits” don’t apply to them, they’re still obligated in the Torah, which last I checked included teshuva.

    in reply to: Orthodox Rabbi Takes Job at LGBT Synagogue – Discuss #1549737

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    Regardless, you have failed to show how any of these aveiros, no matter how repulsive they are, are lehachis. You’re basically saying any aveira that offends you is lehachis, which is ridiculous.

    in reply to: Orthodox Rabbi Takes Job at LGBT Synagogue – Discuss #1549725

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    @its time for truth you’re lumping together mitzvos sichlios like murder with chukim like arayos. It’s not normal to have taavos to kill, so there’s no excuse. It’s normal to have taavos for many of the arayos, and contrary to what you believe for some reason a miut hamatzui have taavos for the same gender.

    in reply to: Orthodox Rabbi Takes Job at LGBT Synagogue – Discuss #1549506

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    @its time for truth, what lie are you accusing me of? You still haven’t provided a source.

    @divri hayamim that’s quite the jump. It’s one thing to say it’s not so common and quite a different thing to say it never happened. It’s quite clear from our history that there were those who were mumarim lehachis. Read the Chumash. I don’t see how these individuals are lehachis, unless you redefine it the way It’ss time for truth has, which essentially makes most avaryonim lehachis, when they are clearly mumarim leteiavon.

    in reply to: Orthodox Rabbi Takes Job at LGBT Synagogue – Discuss #1549460

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    I’m not tolerating any aveiros but I can’t accept someone’s claim that anyone who is under the control of their yetzer and rationalized their aveiros to the point where they don’t feel guilty for what they do (shana bah hutar lo) is called lehachis. The word literally means to spite or anger Hashem, and no one here is as far as I know doing that. Only someone irrational would. It’s not irrational to follow your yetzer hara, just a bad decision.

    in reply to: Orthodox Rabbi Takes Job at LGBT Synagogue – Discuss #1549459

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    @its time for truth, again please provide a source for your definition as I find it grossly mistaken.

    in reply to: Orthodox Rabbi Takes Job at LGBT Synagogue – Discuss #1549359

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    Yes, everyone can rationalize what they’re doing. You’re proving my point that your statement that they’re lehachis is presumptuous.

    in reply to: Orthodox Rabbi Takes Job at LGBT Synagogue – Discuss #1549192

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    @divri hayamim source? You don’t know their intentions. As I said, maybe they’ve rationalized to themselves it’s muttar. I know of one famous “Orthodox Gay Rabbi” where he was megaleh panim batorah shelo kahalacha and explained the pesukim in vayikra in a way which permitted his lifestyle. I’m not confining this, just giving an example where people can rationalize their behavior without intent lehachis…or they just gave up on that one mitzvah in an extreme way (adopting it as a lifestyle), I don’t see why that’s not leteiavon.

    in reply to: Orthodox Rabbi Takes Job at LGBT Synagogue – Discuss #1549153

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    @It is Time for Truth I don’t know why you think a congregation of those who identity as LGBT Orthodox Jews are living their lifestyle lehachis. It would leteiavon, and/or they rationalize why it’s not assur.

    in reply to: Orthodox Rabbi Takes Job at LGBT Synagogue – Discuss #1549096

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    According to David Rosenthal, who wrote the book why Open Orthodoxy is not Orthodox, writes:

    “Moskowitz is a former senior educator of Uri L’Tzedek, an “Orthodox social justice organization” founded and run by YCT graduates.”

    in reply to: Orthodox Rabbi Takes Job at LGBT Synagogue – Discuss #1549063

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    I previously read a headline that a Rabbi associated with Open Orthodoxy took this position. Now I see this thread claiming a frum Jew took this position. Which should I believe? Where does he really align himself?

    in reply to: Non-Jewish Baalei Teshuvas #1541719

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    While I admit my anecdotal evidence isn’t worth much (for many reasons), I feel the need to point out that I know hundreds of BTs and only 2-3 found out they weren’t Jewish and needed giyur. I don’t know that any of them turned out to be mamzerim, but people don’t tend to bring that up…many of them got married so I assume they or the mesader kiddushin looked into it

    in reply to: Meaningful Bar mitzvah for someone secular #1519866

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    As the title mentions, he’s not observant

    in reply to: shadchanim in America #1516582

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    I don’t get it. You want to date American girls while living in Israel? Or you want to date American girls who live in Israel? There are plenty of good shadchanim in Israel who help Anglos. Why deal with time zone issues?

    in reply to: Yeshivas in Israel #1506546

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    @samthenylic the exceptional cases such as the one you describes have no bearing on the majority of cases where thousands of bochurim have positive experiences in yeshivos in Israel and shteig away. No need to scare others.

    in reply to: Proposal spectacles #1478957

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    @shuali not sure where you got your facts from. The same gemarra in Kesubos that says to compliment the kallah describes amoraim entertaining the couple with various dances, props and gestures. I believe Tosafos in Sukkah describes how they used to joust on horseback to entertain the couple.

    in reply to: @Chabad Shluchah Please Explain Why Davening To/Betten a Rebbe is Okay #1462863

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    @aww

    the concept of the shechina resting in a tzaddik just like in the beis hamikdosh is found in nefesh hachaim (my favorite litvishe Sefer). See nefesh hachaim 1:4 in the hago I quote

    לזאת הרי כי ודאי עיקר ענין הקדש והמקדש ושריית שכינתו ית’ הוא האדם שאם יתקדש עצמו כראוי בקיום המצות כולן שהם תלויין ג”כ בשורשן העליון אז הוא עצמו המקדש ממש *ובתוכו* ה’ ית”ש

    By that logic one can daven TO the beis hamikdash. As far as I know, Lubavitch doesn’t advocate for that. It’s one thing to daven towards it or to have the makom Hamikdash in mind, but not to daven to the building Chas veshalom.

    Therefore it is clear to me that this is a misappropriation of the teaching of the Nefesh Hachaim, and him saying the shechina rests in a tzaddik clearly doesn’t include permission to daven to him.

    in reply to: @Chabad Shluchah Please Explain Why Davening To/Betten a Rebbe is Okay #1461516

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    @aww I’m just giving a practical nafka minah between the ability to tack on the title shlita and what the Nefesh Hachaim is referring to.

    in reply to: @Chabad Shluchah Please Explain Why Davening To/Betten a Rebbe is Okay #1461455

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    @aww no one says Moshe Rabbeinu shlita. There’s a clear difference between what the Nefesh Hachaim writes and claiming that someone is alive to the point that they can/will be Moshiach. Using that quote it would make more sense to say Dovid Hamelech is moshiach, as he is still alive.


    refoelzeev
    Participant

    I just read that a soldier was hospitalized because people threw rocks at his tank, causing him to hit a lamp post. I don’t know if there was any protests against this behaviour.

    in reply to: Single State Solution for Israel #1443921

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    Agreed with BaltimoreMaven. The reason a single state solution with all having equal rights would destroy the concept of a Jewish state, as the majority would be Muslim. That’s why those who oppose a step state solution prefer the status quo.

    in reply to: Reform “Rabbis” #1431072

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    @shimen most unobservant Jews aren’t doing it beshita they’re doing it beignorance

    in reply to: Reform “Rabbis” #1429810

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    Joseph your stats assume that everyone who is reform or conservative today was since their inception. Many people over 40 who are secular today have/had observant grandparents or at least great grandparents. The amount of time for non legit converts to assimilate into a family trees is not as long as you claim.

    Over 90% of the BTs I know had no questions about their Jewish status and grew up conservative or reform. Unless you feel the non real Jews would be less likely to be “chozer beteshuvah”, which one could argue.

    in reply to: Reform “Rabbis” #1429615

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    Just to quantify Joseph’s convert statement, the vast majority of conservative and reform Jews are not converts and are halachically Jewish, and just very very lost. We need to daven and do our hishtadlus to bring them back. It’s not a good thing that over 80% of JEWS aren’t keeping the Torah and there is an entire generation that don’t know what kriyas shema is.

    To address the topic of this thread, most people who are secular view a rabbi as more of a social worker role. They are there to help ease tensions in a community or relationship and provide life advice.

    in reply to: Artscroll Shas – English vs. Hebrew editions #1429616

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    From what I could tell, but I didn’t do a thorough comparison, the Hebrew edition has larger footnotes, quoting the relevant rishonim and achronim


    refoelzeev
    Participant

    @joseph

    How marriage occurs with non Jews, Hilchos Ishus 1:1
    קֹדֶם מַתַּן תּוֹרָה הָיָה אָדָם פּוֹגֵעַ אִשָּׁה בַּשּׁוּק אִם רָצָה הוּא וְהִיא לִשָּׂא אוֹתָהּ מַכְנִיסָהּ לְתוֹךְ בֵּיתוֹ וּבוֹעֲלָהּ בֵּינוֹ לְבֵין עַצְמוֹ וְתִהְיֶה לוֹ לְאִשָּׁה.”:
    Before the giving of the Torah, it would be that if a man happened upon a woman in the marketplace and they wanted to marry each other, he would bring her into his house and consummate the marriage between them privately, and she would be his wife.

    How divorce works with non jews Hilchos Melachim 9:8
    וּמֵאֵימָתַי תִּהְיֶה אֵשֶׁת חֲבֵרוֹ כִּגְרוּשָׁה שֶׁלָּנוּ מִשֶּׁיּוֹצִיאֶנָּה מִבֵּיתוֹ וִישַׁלְּחֶנָּה לְעַצְמָהּ. אוֹ מִשֶּׁתֵּצֵא הִיא מִתַּחַת רְשׁוּתוֹ וַתֵּלֶךְ לָהּ. שֶׁאֵין לָהֶם גֵּרוּשִׁין בִּכְתָב. וְאֵין הַדָּבָר תָּלוּיִ בּוֹ לְבַד. אֶלָּא כָּל זְמַן שֶׁיִּרְצֶה הוּא אוֹ הִיא לִפְרשׁ זֶה מִזֶּה פּוֹרְשִׁין:
    And when is one of their married women considered like one of our divorcees? From the time he expels her from his house and sends her off on her own, or from when she leaves on her own from his property. For the Gentiles do not have a written bill of divorce. and the matter is not dependent upon him alone. Rather, whenever either he or she wishes to separate, they (may) separate.

    What the non Jewish courts do, ibid halacha 14
    וְכֵיצַד מְצֻוִּין הֵן עַל הַדִּינִין. חַיָּבִין לְהוֹשִׁיב דַּיָּנִין וְשׁוֹפְטִים בְּכָל פֶּלֶךְ וּפֶלֶךְ לָדוּן בְּשֵׁשׁ מִצְוֹת אֵלּוּ. וּלְהַזְהִיר אֶת הָעָם.
    What must they do to fulfill their requirement regarding the Law of Justice? They have to set up magistrates and judges in each district to judge the people with regard to these Six Commandments; and they must issue warnings (about them) to the people.

    The Kesef Mishnah there brings another peshat, but no mention that they can decide what constitutes marriage. Sounds pretty objective.


    refoelzeev
    Participant

    <I>Therefore that legal mechanism can be used to establish what is considered divorced or what not.</I>

    Joseph do you have a source for that statement? I don’t believe it’s true. Halacha defines their marriage. Their courts can rule in monitary laws and exact punishment.


    refoelzeev
    Participant

    It should be noted that while the Torah does include marriage amongst non Jews, how they define marriage is irrelevant. A couple is objectively married if they live together as a husband and wife do, even if they didn’t have a ceremony.

    in reply to: Stop the SLEEPING in Shul! 🛑😴🕍 #1421803

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    <i>What’s the point of mentioning your friends in a mi shebeirach if your friends can’t even hear it?!</i>

    So they get a bracha? What’s wrong with making sure they get a bracha even if they don’t know about it. It’s like giving tzedaka anonymously instead of with lots of fanfare.

    in reply to: Project Makom #1418140

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    I’d assume footsteps is “more successful” than Project Makom (who measures success in this area and how?) Is because it’s been around longer and simply has more press coverage…

    in reply to: Natural-Hair Sheitels Are Assur #1401166

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    By bigger things to worry about I meant bigger problems to deal with.

    in reply to: Natural-Hair Sheitels Are Assur #1401165

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    Wow this thread devolved quickly. It started with an unsubstantiated fact, that the majority of wigs are from idol worship, and based on that assumption, unsurprisingly many chashuv rabbonim assured. Did anyone address my request for a source for this statistic?

    Now the thread has changed focus to banning all wigs regardless of idol worship. I think we have bigger things to worry about…

    in reply to: Natural-Hair Sheitels Are Assur #1396546

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    I’m very curious how it is known that the vast majority of sheitels come from India. Obviously if the information is true the psak would be to oser, but where did this information come from? Who told it to the gedolim?

    in reply to: Some boys do better shteiging out of yeshiva WHY? #1364125

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    Some, not all people, when given all day to work on something, whatever it is, tend to not be productive with their time. They don’t feel the pressure, they take it easy, they tell themselves they’ll do more later, etc.

    Someone who wants to learn but had limited time, which is usually the case for those who leave yeshiva, if they’re serious about it will maximize their time due to the pressure.

    Similar to how someone with a lot of money will spend more casually than someone with limited funds. It’s human psychology.

    in reply to: Eclipse Brocha? #1341376

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    WolfishMusings does your Rav say to make a bracha on a lunar eclipse? What’s his svara?

    Ps – The MB brings down the Sefer Chasidim who says to fast when there’s a lunar eclipse.

    in reply to: Pre-Shidduch Research #1329644

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    Have you decided what you’re looking for? Some things can’t be determined other than in person, but others are a simple phone call.

    in reply to: How to remain a ben Torah after leaving Kollel #1329635

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    There’s an article in Klal Perspectives Winter 2015 that addresses this topic.

    in reply to: How to remain a ben Torah after leaving Kollel #1329495

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    I believe this article was written for your question

    Sorry, no links

    in reply to: darchei noam and medreshet rochel vchaya #1252256

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    So go if you feel it’s the right one for you and hopefully you’ll get set up with your bashert

    in reply to: darchei noam and medreshet rochel vchaya #1251487

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    Most girls I believe are in their mid twenties, finished college, but it’s a range of anywhere between 20-60.

    The seminary had shadchanim but they wouldn’t set you up the minute you land there, maybe after a few weeks if they feel you’re ready.

    in reply to: darchei noam and medreshet rochel vchaya #1250802

    refoelzeev
    Participant

    The yeshiva and seminary are very religious, and in some ways similar to other BT places and in other ways different.

    The main difference is the rebbeim/rebbetzins aren’t all the same hashkafa and backgrounds. For example some rebbeim went to Chaim Berlin, Mir, YU, Gush, etc. Some prefer it some don’t. It gives the talmid a varied exposure to yiddishkeit. Torah and derech Eretz have primacy, and more subtle issues like learning or working or the state of Israel or the army have a variety of approaches and each student can find a role model that speaks to the. Their main focus isn’t to teach hashkafa rather teach the tools and skills to be independent Torah learners and not have to rely on English books.

    I went to Shapells (darchei Noam) for two years and I didn’t know any of the girls at MRC. The two schools are very separate, both in terms of physical distance and zero mingling. However, since the schools share rebbeim, many shidduchim are made between the schools.

    Let me know if you have specific questions.

Viewing 47 posts - 1 through 47 (of 47 total)