sof davar hakol nishma

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  • in reply to: CHILD born with a cleft palate #775458

    besides for not being able to speak, it can be dangerous. It’s serious i can’t beleive the insurance wont cover

    in reply to: Older Guys in Shidduchim #775448

    mdd bring me a source, i know your right about the besula, but why? Why are people more quick to marry a previously married man than a women? I don’t get it. In the long scheme of things its a minute detail

    in reply to: Why do politicians and others think they'll get away with dirt? #775775

    hate to burst your bubble but just because one congressman was caught, there are probably and were probably many who have done/ were involved with very inappropriate things. They just weren’t caught and most think they won’t get caught.

    in reply to: Shidduch #775832

    In the case taht you’re in i would have her sit in the back seat, give her a ride if its not too far and see what happens from there, DO NOT ask her out during the ride. (asking out is considered untznius in certain circles and “normal” in others, it matters where you grew up , what you’re used to.

    in reply to: What are you all doing today?? #772455

    you should all appreciate your day off! i spent my day at WORK 🙁

    in reply to: Tznius issue – what would you do? #774653

    theres no question whether it is appropriate for a man to comment no matter how embarrassing or untznius the it is, for a women to comment is a different story.

    in reply to: Not Looking For A Psak, Just An Opinion #770246

    haifagirl you are right in your conclusion. I actually know someone who is so against the Internet they won’t let anyone do any favors for them on it.

    However theres another aspect – many simply don’t want it in their homes, but they’ll shop and do whatever out of the house.

    in reply to: this was inevitable, these poor children #770765

    this is so sick. i can’t believe we’ve actually come to THIS!

    in reply to: Sefiras HaOmer Issues #763199

    are you seriously askihng these questions here, for a real answer? i sure hope not.

    what i know:

    theres no first 1/2 or second 1/2.

    everyone listens to music on chol hamoed

    there are two times people keep it,

    1) from r”ch iyar- shvus (3 days before)

    2) from pesach till lag baomer

    then there are those who are makpid to keep the whole thing, i don’t know if it’s specifically the ari”zal i think its chassidish.

    those who keep from pesach till lag baomer don’t cut their hair on lag baomer itself only after.

    women are not obligated in counting sfira

    in reply to: Resume #763796

    thats because there’s no strict set of rules regarding any type of resume.(for a job/shidduch) You want it to look official and respectable, but i’ve seen all types, i would say copy one of those examples you saw that you liked best

    in reply to: What Changed You? #763323

    My whole life (so far!) has changed me! Every experience – major and minor, every happy and hard time… im not getting more personal than that.

    in reply to: who are you #760095

    “it’s easy to tell who the males are – they’re the ones who make fun of how the females write. :)”


    in reply to: Camp Chaviva #961770

    It sounds like a good camp (from what I heard) although I heard its a rich crowd.***don’t know if its rly true just heard it***

    in reply to: Awkward moments…. Help! #759755

    just continue smiling, say “may you be zoche to build a bayis neeman…” if new child say may you be zoche to raise him/her letorah, lechupa ulm”t… whatever just smile and show them you happy for them that’s all they care about.

    about the kallah not dressed tznius, if your a girl saying to the kallah, matters on your relationship with her. look for something else like your hair/shaitel…makeup maybe just don’t comment on the gown itself

    in reply to: Insomnia #758924

    take it from someone who lives with this:

    Think of good things that happened to you or good thoughts in general

    say a kapitul tehillim in your head repeatedly

    Chamomile tea

    A calm boring book

    Melatonin, take an hour before sleep every night. it tends to work quite often on me.

    Relaxing music (i got a heter to fall asleep with if it effects my health, but its a last resort)

    Slow breathing, deeply in, hold for few seconds breathe out slowly

    as a last resort, if its been nights and i can’t function at all anymore, i took a sleeping pill. Twice in my life – but id rather

    do anything but that.

    last but not least, DAVEN AND DAVEN AND DAVEN it almost became part of my daily tfillos that i should fall asleep

    in reply to: How to remain neutral with the boys in college #758807

    Be strong, its a very difficult position. One thing i’ve heard also is that there is a very subtle but BIG difference in being polite and a smile than a smile and wink… or body language which suggests more than just being polite Hatzlocha

    in reply to: single guy and single girl talkin about shidduchim #911505

    i would never do it, i wouldnt be comfortable but it really depends on your background, what type of place your from and how tznius and business like your suggestions and interactions are.

    in reply to: Coming late #752546

    I know someone whose a teache/rebby. They always say how nerve wracking it is when the teacher/rebbi before them runs over time. (they teach right before lunch break/recess) and it’s not fair to the kids to keep THEM overtime.

    about being on time for other types of work it depends. i know someone who works in a place where – they have to be there from a “basic time” to a “basic time” not exact. Or if the work has to get done, doesnt matter exacty what time youre there. but in other jobs such as offices that close and open at a certain time it definitely does matter and is unfair

    in reply to: Why oh why all the pain?? #749348

    i didn’t read through every single post, but M”Sh i just felt like there is a HUGE wake up call from Hashem to do Teshuva, between the tragedy in Itamar and Japan… it shook me to the core.

    in reply to: kiruv #750823

    it’s always easier to make others frum (feel good about what you’re doing and YOU don’t have to change THAT much) than to work on oneself.

    in reply to: something is really bothering me…. #745447

    mw13 sorry for responding so late. (may be aver and batel already)

    basically i was not trying to knock drinking on purim, just commenting that its interesting that this is one mitzvah that many feel so passionately about, haleveai we were so passionate about… any other mitzva! limud torah, tefiala, tznius, shmiras halashon …the list goes on.

    in reply to: Boring Sundays #745069

    Just be happy you don’t work on sunday’s i know people who do and its a real pain

    in reply to: something is really bothering me…. #745350

    my only thought is – halevai we should all be so enthusiastic in defending and keeping other mitzvos and chiyuvim.

    in reply to: Divorce Stories #743342

    after 60 years of marriage NOT 60 years old. No one gets divorced after 60 years of marriage, they’ve stuck it out for this long they’ll stick it out until 120.

    in reply to: Seiminary responses #742364

    clearly a troll of some sort because the acceptance/”rejection” letters are coming the 25th and NO ONE applies to BJJ ONLY. Everyone knows that no matter what a top girl you are the chances of getting in are pretty slim

    in reply to: my son in a choir? #740507

    i definitely would not send my child, but every kid is different.

    Most likely his head wont be in learning and many times(not positive) the fame gets to their heads. let alone the fact (someone already mentioned) that girls will be analyzing him in every way.

    (for all those who disagree, just ask your sisters or friends)

    in reply to: should i break the shidduch #740042

    ok you crack me up. you say most boys are looking for size 0-2 and they don’t know what that means? or you meant their MOTHERS are knocking that into them? sorry but many boys do start dating before 24.

    in reply to: Bad Vibes #737077

    well many times by trusting your gut you can save yourself a lot of time, aggravation and wasted emotional energy. I know someone who “kept on giving it another shot” on a few occasions because “maybe it was a one time thing.” and all 3 times their intuition was correct.

    on the other hand sometimes it IS in our heads… however, your situation sounds way too weird for words. i would say a flat NO.

    in reply to: Please help me. PLEASE!! #879108

    find a job in some OOT place where you can actually beer the summer weather

    in reply to: Everyone is "amazing"- how can you tell who really has great Midos? #736600

    not sure if anyone said this or not, but learn HOW to ask the RIGHT questions, and listen closely to HOW they speak.

    in reply to: Goral Hagra. What do you know about it? #1027385

    it does work, it’s a real thing, should not be used for just anything and as many said above theres a special way to do it. (i think 2 ways) I know a family that had abig decision to make, they were shoel eitzah and both people they asked didn’t give a straight answer. they did the goral hagra and the answer was clear.

    in reply to: Macabeets To Join Shwekey At Beacon!! #725244

    anyone know of any clips? any pics? im so curious how it was

    in reply to: A Radical Solution to the Shidduch Crisis? #719421

    as someone else posted , since when does the chassidish style work so much better? are they all happily married? how do you know they don’t divorce simply because they’re scared to and stick it out? Do you have any substantial proof for this or its all assumptions?

    There are quite a few problems with the chassisdish style of dating but some i can’t enumerate here.

    in reply to: Too picky-in shidduchim? #718706

    Yiras shamayim and middos should never be compromised.

    I know someone who was looking for shtarka learner. She came from a difficult background which made shidduchim A LOT more harder. When she got a little older (no not 20/21… more like 25-28) she was redt to a very good boy, middos, yiras shamayim who wasn’t planning on long-term learning. It was a hard pill to swallow, but she is happily married now with a few kids.

    The opening of the thread was something to the effect of marrying prince charming. Well EVERYONE’s gotta settle if they think anyone in this world is perfect. It doesn’t exist.

    in reply to: More on Gender- a study #720864

    ok ok ok, c’mon, do you all seriously take everything here so to heart? goodness? and

    mischeif do you think pple will post what stage they’re up to and how old they are?

    in reply to: seminary knowledge #721709

    For those of you wondering how I can be working, and going to sem in a few yrs… the previous post was by my little sis. I had left my screen name open.

    in reply to: Most Informed in the Coffee Room #719034

    i say nobody can replace him. We used to have some other more active posters like HIE and some others-they all disappeared!

    in reply to: seminary knowledge #721697

    I know everyone’s gonna say “BJJ” again?! But seriously, a relative of mine went in the last 3 years and she LOVED it! It’s very well run, with great teachers and great girls. It’s huge-I think it’s getting slightly bigger each year B”H but really it’s an amazing seminary. I have my hopes on getting in when it’s time-not just for the name but because it’s a really great seminary. You don’t have to be smart, or studious-you’ll just be in the low classes. There are many very academic students who go, and I’d probably say most of the seminary is like that, but there are those who go for the name, experience, fun or whatever, although I think it’s a waste to go “just for the name.”

    in reply to: Where are you posting from? #718643

    Home when I get home from school.

    in reply to: Inappropriate Opposite Gender Interactions in the Workplace #1075611

    ilovetorah, i wish life were so simple. where DO you come from ? even in Lakewood there are mixed offices. (i have a friend who works in one and she said b”h its very appropriate. everyone has titles Mr./Mrs./Miss

    in reply to: Inappropriate Opposite Gender Interactions in the Workplace #1075610

    just to make it clear, i realized that he simply didn’t realize that it was inappropriate. To him, he was just kibbitzing…

    in reply to: Inappropriate Opposite Gender Interactions in the Workplace #1075609

    justsmiles613,yes, its a really painful discovery, but that “friend” who quite was really me. and yes, it was a very very “frum” boss who just didn’t chap boundaries. (for those of you who remember, i came on with a thread “quitting! Help” or something to that effect)

    now i really hope no one who worked there or my boss will find out the true reason for quitting. (it was the main reason, there were a few others though)

    in reply to: Can You Say "No" If…. #720100

    i used always say that the person isnt marrying the family, they are marrying the individual (when i was a teen…) however the truth is that the home they come from DOES effect them, even if it doesn’t surface riight then. it can come up later on in life.

    With divorce you must check out well how it effected the kids. Thats not to say that if a couple is still married but has terrible shalom bayis, go for it. Most often these situations have deep effects on the children.

    in reply to: Yeshivish #718348

    its all about labeling. (chassidish, heimish, tuna baigels, (a term i recently learned) litvish, frum, yeshivish, frum but not yeshivish…) beleive me i don’t quite get it all either! and im quite happy without this extra knowledge. youre missing out on nnothing but a bunch of labeling

    in reply to: Changing The Tone On Looks In Dating #718905

    although this is all a joke… MODS???!!! Where are you?

    in reply to: what would you do #718695

    Be sure that what you saw is real, and not a misinterpretation of anything.

    Once confirmed,

    I would daven for them.

    If close enough and I know they will listen, I would give tochacha in a soft loving way, so that it would be accepted.

    EDITED for spelling, punctuation, and capitalization.

    in reply to: STOMACH BANDING #718754

    If I know what you’re talking about, I would check it out really, really well before. I know someone who did it and constantly has complications. They lost about 100 lbs. but still have a way to go and it’s been years.

    EDITED for spelling and punctuation

    in reply to: Inappropriate Opposite Gender Interactions in the Workplace #1075604

    gavra, i realize that, the crazy thing is that they are both not jsut “frum” but very very frum. He couldve been her father and made very ummm __________ comments. (you know what i mean) He aslo would get very close to her physically (to show something to her etc.) and she would back off… She didn’t laugh at his “jokes”… he never got the message so she left. SHe couldn’t ask to be called Miss/mrs_____ since he was her boss and byt he time she cahpped this was also a problem it would’ve been awkward to say something.

    Unfortunately lately this has become an issue, even amongst “very”

    frum people

    in reply to: Inappropriate Opposite Gender Interactions in the Workplace #1075595

    i know someone who was working in an office for a particular organization. all frum people including her boss. She left after about a year simply because of this. Her boss didn’t realize that a lot of stuff was quite frankly inappropriate (although he couldve been her father, it makes no difference)She kept strong boundaries and a distance but he didn’t get the message. Another very important thing, DO NOT CALL ANYONE BY THEIR FIRST NAME. it seems insignificant yet it sets a very important boundary. THe sad part is that in my friends story, her boss was a very frum person…

    in reply to: What I Learned From My Troubled Teen #718464

    one thing ill say, a close friend of mine who went through a very rebellious, basically “at risk” stage in her life once told me that no matter how painful it is for the parents its harder for the teen themselves. they are being pulled in a million directions and when confronted with a major choice (be it somehow in dress, or to drop something in yiddishkeit) it is gehenim for them.

    eclipse, be strong!, you’re lucky she’s in the right school. i know many kids who were inadvertently “pushed” further away from yiddishkeit becasue of the school (and teachers) they were in.

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