Forum Replies Created
July 23, 2018 10:48 am at 10:48 am in reply to: Don’t move to Lakewood before having a school 4 the kids #1563060
I don’t claim to be in the “Know”, but perhaps HKB”H is trying to push Bnei Torah to the smaller communities. There are Jews hungering for Torah all across North America. Many people who raised families in the small communinities will tell you that they were able to raise children with great depth to their Yiddishkeit – perhaps more than children raised in the large centers of Yiddishkeit – provided that the small community had at least a core of Orthodoxy.
To those who ask: It is important to recognize that there are many people who ask questions because they want to understand – which is something that should be encouraged, and there are those who aren’t really asking, but are arguing. The difference between questioning and arguing is enormous.
To educators: Many good educators are not qualified to answer certain categories of questions. Invalidating a question or giving a wrong answer are both unacceptable. A mechanech(es) should either research the topic and get back to the student, or help the student get in touch with somone who is qualified to answer the question(s).
To Zahavsdad –
There are all kinds of mistakes that people make regarding giraffe. Even though there may be practical and legal reasons for not eating it – it is not really a halocha issue (except according to the opinion that mesora is necessary for animals too). Many teachers repeat something about not knowing where to shecht it. Anyone who know hilchos shechita knows that is incorrect.
To Colombian Jew –
I can’t tell you what to do, but I can tell you what I would do. If any major rabbonim would question if I was Jewish, I would do a geirus l’chumra as soon as possible. If you are observant it is no challenge to do a geirus l’chumra. I wouldn’t take any chances with something so important.
The major agencies do not accept it. One issue is that they follow an opinion regarding cheese which is not accepted by the mainstream hechsherim.
Please do not confuse it with the KSR of Montreal which uses a picture of the Luchos inside a black circle.
You can search Kosher Quest to get an idea of hechsherim.
I have to emphasize what Oomis said. A discussion of “other worlds” by anyone not thoroughly familiar with kabbala is as foolhardy as having a supreme court justice do brain surgery. It is dangerous and irresponsible to spout forth ideas about something a person knows almost nothing about.
Twice (or more) per day when we say Shma we say that we are commanded to love HaShem to such a degree than if necessary we would give up our lives and all our possessions for Him. This is a very weighty topic which should be learned with the seriousness it deserves. It is difficult for me to understand how people can discuss such weighty topics in the Coffee Room. We must learn these halochos with the appropriate serious attitude and not have every anonymous person – perhaps learned, perhaps somewhat knowlegeable, or perhaps a bored kid – state whatever they think the halocha should be.February 15, 2015 3:46 am at 3:46 am in reply to: How and why should I respect a parent that doesn't deserve respect? #1061078
This is a question which is quite serious and must be answered on an individual basis. Two mechanchim asked one of the gedolei hador how one of their talmidim should deal with his father who was an abuser. The gadol said that the answer depends on the maturity of the son, and his age. Anyone who has such challenges needs to have a reliable and wise Rav or Rebbetzin to whom they can tun to for advice.
It is a brocha from HaShem that human nature allows us to block out pain. We must walk a difficult tightrope allowing for appropraite sensitivity without being crushed. I doubt that anyone could maintain their sanity if we were as sensitive and empathetic as we really should be. I heard that Rav Simcha Wasserman zt”l said that that is the tefilla which we ask HaShem to replace our stone hearts with hearts of flesh. When Mashiach comes we will no longer have to make a hard protective shell to protect ourselves from pain, but we will be able to empathize with others as we should.
Please do not take the issue lightly, and do not assume that you will change her. Do speak to 1 or 2 wise people to ascertain if it really is a tznius issue and what it shows about her yiras shamayim. If the answers satisfy you ask advice if the shadchan (if she is female) or a different female should bring the issue up now. It is unfair and unwise to marry someone with the intent to change them.
To Hashtagposter –
Could you please give a source of your statement that there is a cifference between a boy and a girl having a cut on the face stitched on Shabbos. Thank you.
I have found that it is more common to find BT discriminate against newer or weaker BT than for FFB discriminate against BT. I think that the reason for this is that BT tend to have a more complicated relationship with the outside world due to their past experiences. I don’t think that they should be taken to task for this, but that it should be explained to them that by offering a genuine hand of assistance to the newer BT, they will merit that HaShem extend His Hand to them.
Issues that pertain to halocha should be asked to your own Rav. If people would like to discuss halachos in these types of forums, they should cite their sources (as some people do). Without sourcs they remain what are called “boich sevaros” (ideas from the belly).
While most people who read Yeshiva World do not follow the Satmar derech, it would still be very wise to be careful not to speak disrespectfully about Rav Yoel, who was a Gadol Hador in every way. He was highly respected by many Gedolim who differed with him quite strongly.
May you find the strength and support you need to deal with your condition.
Medical progress in dealing with both forms of diabetes has been very encouraging. There is actually hope of an actual cure in the coming years. May HaShem help the doctors to make great strides in this field, so that you and numerous others will be able to enjoy good health. If you need emotional support and medical advice, there are many people who will be happy to help you.
There is something much worse, which some people do. They do not give the shadchan a call if the answer is no. Sometimes it is the shadchan who doesn’t give an answer if it was a no.
I don’t think that it is respectful to substitute with a word that means “melting wax”.
People should not assume that Gedolim make decisions based on hearsay. I was with one of the leading Roshei Yeshiva while he watched a video – twice – to determine if it was appropriate for a specific audience.
This is something well known by the poskim, and spoken of in the halocha seforim. There are some people who are particular about this issue regarding Pashas Zachor. The fact that sifrei Torah match almost perfectly is a tremendous attestation to the care with which Klal Yisroel guarded the mesorah.
Don’t call them “woes”, a bris is a big simcha. What you have is a logistical challenge. May it be with much mazal!
Incidntally. I highly doubt that there is anyone in the world that carries ALL 9 of those genetic defects.
If you have an understanding of biology and medicine you would know that most people have at least 1 or 2 significant genetic defects. It is quite possible that the person who shuns a carrier has a more serious defect himself.
The posters have offered many good pieces of advice, and some that are not so good. I would like to focus on a couple of points. I think that when parents and teachers find joy in Torah and mitzvos their children and students will be more likely to follow in their footsteps. When parents and teachers don’t fulfill mitzvos with love, the next generation will be less likely to adhere to a Torah way of life. I believe that that it is also important that parents and teachers discuss points of hashkafa and belief according to the best of their ability. It is critical that every person have a solid foundation in emunah. Even though many students are afraid to ask questions, we must supply the answers. The more solid a person’s emunah is the more simcha he/she will find in Torah and mitzvos. Perhaps the CR can open a moderated forum for the discussion of emunah topics. It is critical that it be moderated by a capable person.November 8, 2013 3:37 am at 3:37 am in reply to: How much do you give your wife per week for the family budget? #987982
How to manage family finances properly varies from family to family. Money is one of the issues that can cause major shalom bayis issues. If a husband and wife have difficulty in arranging how to arrange their family finances they need to get advice from someone they both respect.
Whatever you do – don’t forget that your life after 120 is what really counts. For most girls the most dangerous option is going to a college away from home and staying in campus housing. If a girl or boy must go to a college away from home, they should stay with an appropriate frum family.
I had a student that I found very challenging, and I felt frustrated that nothing I tried seemed to help. I decided that if I (and the rest of the staff) did not know how to help him, I would at least do my best not to do anything to make his situation worse. I tried to be as patient with him as I could, and I was careful not to yell at him or insult him. He is a very successful Menahel today.
It is good to remind yourself that real success is doing the best possible job for your students according to where they are “holding” at that time. Some people foolishly think that the teachers who have the easy students are the best ones. In truth, those who deal patiently and wisely with the difficult students are the best of the best.
Dash’s information is correct.
If you ask around you will find that there are rides every day, including people who commute and people who use the Philadelphia doctors and medical services.
Anyone who uses alcohol or any other drug in such a reckless manner is at a great risk of ending up with a much more serious problem. Using alcohol in this way is step one to becoming an alcoholic.
I strongly suggest that if you want to fulfill the mitzvos of tefillin and mezuzah properly that you follow a few prudent steps:
Purchase your mezuzos and tefillin from someone that you or your Rav know well. Tell the seller that you want high quality without any compromise – and that you are not looking for something “cheap”. If you cannot afford top quality for all of your rooms, you can save some money by asking your Rav which rooms are “questionable” as to their need of a mezuzah. You might be able to save some money by buying a lower grade of l’chatchila mezuzos for those rooms. Please pay as much as you can afford for top notch tefillin. Tefillin are forever. Make sure to take your son with you when you buy his tefillin. If he sees that there is nothing as important to you as his tefillin his Yiddishkeit and that of your future grandchildren will be given a major push in the right direction.
You can throw a towel over the steering wheel before you park.
Tznius is a very very important issue. I have three concerns about what you said:
1) Chumros (stringencies) and good policies must not be confused with halocha. Starting with the eitz ha’da’as (Tree of Knowledge) passing a chumra off as a halocha has caused a lessening of observance. There is no halocha that skirts must be 4 inches below the knee.
2) Rabbonim don’t have the ability to successfully decree those policies which they wish they could. If the rabbonim were able to fix Klal Yisroel’s issues by fiat, it would be wonderful. However, we all know that it doesn’t work that way.
3) We have to be very concerned about depriving a child of his Yiddishkeit because of his parents’ issues. Many of the leading rabbonim and roshei yeshiva would have been deprived of a Torah education if this had been the practice in Klal Yisroel. Out of respect for these Talmidei Chachomim we don’t publicize their background, but I know that many wonderful tzaddikim did not come from families that would pass muster nowadays.
Don’t take outlandish posts too seriously. They are usually authored by bored kids having some fun.
“I think that anyone who speaks during davening, comes late to davening, says lashon hora, hurts someone’s feelings, or wastes even a minute from Torah learning should be put into cherem!”
In truth I think that we have to realize that the way to bring people to Torah is by demonstrating the beauty of the Torah way of life through our own actions.
Some of the older classics are OK. I beleive that Jules Verne is pretty good.May 27, 2013 3:10 am at 3:10 am in reply to: I am not in high school anymore, Chessed is nice, BUT I need a parnassah! #955271
Why don’t you look for a position as an assistant in a school that pays fair wages and rent an apartment with some other girls. Look for a community that has shidduch prospects, or is not to far from the large communities. You will make some money and gain experience. If you en joy teaching you might take courses so that you can move up to a full teaching position when you are ready to.
If you would ask dayanim of batei din you would discover that this is not such a rare occurence. In almost all of the cases these wonderful people are megayer as soon as they possibly can. If you guys would put your joking aside, I am pretty sure that you would do the same.
It is certainly best if you can get assistance from a Rav that you know. If you cannot – Tefillin Bet El is a good option. They have a web-site and e-mail. They have always been very helpful when I contacted them. They have a various qualities available. I suggest going for the best that you can afford. I agree with the previous poster who suggest having them fasted the “yud” with a “gid” rather than using what is called a “Chofetz Chaim Knot”. Many soferim are not favoraible inclined to using the “kesher” called the “Chofetz Chaim Knot”.
I don’t know anything about Lakewood, but if the bais din is an appropriate beis-din, it is highly inappropriate to refer to the dayan as “some guy”.
Most people go to Chevron without bullet proof buses. Just make sure that whoever you go with is familiar with the roads and the situation at the time. It is usually reasonably safe to go. If you are not familiar with the roads and the situation – please don’t go alone.
You may be able to cure your own stuttering problem by speaking more slowly, and stopping to breathe. If this doesn’t work try a speech therapist.
Unless you have the training to deal with missionaries, speak Yiddish or Hebrew and make believe you don’t know what they are talking about.
Or tell them that you believe in G-d, why don’t they teach people to believe in G-d. Then walk away and refuse to let them “engage you” in conversation.
Most people might not realize it, but people with vision difficulties are benefitting greatly from the technological advances that are allowing them to continue learning.
It is totally irresponsible to use this type of a forum for psak halocha – and you all know that.
It is not indicative of a major problem. However, it should be considered a red-line that children must be taught not to cross.
I believe that the practice of some people not to go around without shoes is based on a Yerushalmi. You absolutely must have the guidance of a competent rav to know when the halachos of Kibud Av v”Aim apply and when not. Some people have bee offering you incorrect information. You also need advice on how to handle issues in a manner that will preserve shalom bayis.
Your questions are very important. I suggest that you speak to people who have similar experiences as well as people involved in kiruv. You may get some good answers in this forum, but on the other hand they might not be appropriate for your particular circumstances.
1) Some families have been able to explain to the grandparent generation how much better it would be for the relationship with the grandchildren if they would demonstrate respect for halocha in their presense. 2) If you perform mitzvos with joy it will make it easier for your children to deal with the challenge.
I am surprised that people did not mention Jules Verne. I believe that his books would be deemed appropriate by most people.
While much of “so-called” Jewish literature is neither Jewish nor literature, but rather “light reads” without the objectionable material, there are good Jewish books for those who are looking for them. May I suggest “Wildflower” and “Blue Star over Red Square”? (Parents – I suggest that you are attentive to even “Jewish” books to ascertain that they fit in with the chinuch you desire for your children. Some of the very best are still not appropriate for everyone.
L’Kavod Moderators –
It is your responsibility not to accept threads and comments that need to be addressed to a Rav on an individual basis and in private. People pasken halocha from these posts, and people think that they have a window on Jewish attitudes based upon what is posted here. They don’t have a clue which posters are knowlegeable people, and which posters are bored kids.
If they are made of wool, it is best to dry-clean them. If they are made of cotton it is best to wash the beged by hand, and not wash the strings. The problem is that the strings are normally made of wool, which is easily damaged in the wash. When the strings must be cleaned, immerse them in ammonia and gently wash the ammonia out with lukewarm water. The solution of putting the strings in a bag also works, but does some damage to the strings.
I know a semi-professional photographer who did his own daughter’s wedding – back in the days of film. To save money he cut down on the amount of very expensive chemicals he used to develop the film and ended up ruining many of the pictures.