oomis

I know my neighbors have a light sensor that is motion-activated, so I go out of my way to avoid their house on Friday night. You cannot avoid everyone’s house, but you can make the effort to do so when you are aware of a potential problem.

Gavriel Aryeh Sanders, Pesach Krohn, my Rov, and my sons, not necessarily in that order.

“There is no way a frum couple would go on public TV before 10 million viewers and risk lying. Besides for that, I believe them because they are frum people and doubt they’d lie in general, as they are Honest Yidden.”

First of all, don’t be so naive – frum people, like any other people, sadly lie all the time. It is a sad fact we have to face. I don’t think they were substantially lying in this case – I think the cleaners ruined her wig, through stupidity and negligence, or accidentally (maybe they first noticed the wig AFTER it went into the wash – who knows), but I also think they were not smart to come to a TV show unprepared with proper evidence. I have no doubt that even her short wig might have been very pricey. I cannot afford to buy these wigs,because they are so expensive, and the one she wore to the show was clearly a good one, so why would she pay anything less for the other one that was ruined? She should have kept her receipt (but how many people keep such meticulous records for a wig?). The only issue that really bothereed me was the Judge is not knowledgeable about wigs (by her own admission)and Wendy Williams, the black TV host who actually wears wigs all the time on TV, wears stuff that looks absolutely horrific, so I would never ask her opinion about this subject. Clearly Judge Milian needed to speak to a Jewish wigmaker AT LENGTH, regarding the damage that can occur to a human hair wig, which once it is cut off the head DOES NOT continue to respond like human hair in all cases. It cannot grow back when damaged, or repair itself. It does get matted, frizz up, break off, and become damaged, whether on or off the head, if abused. This wig was abused. And that is the only thing that should have mattered to the judge, which is why she dismissed the case w/o prejudice, so the couple could sue again, when they have the proper proof.

A man who refuses to give his wife a divorce in order to hurt her is proving exactly why she deserves to be free of him.

The Judge is not an actress — she is a bona fide judge.

anything sugarfree and minty, but I am partial to cinnamon flavor.

Be careful, though. it can cause diarrhea.

I don’t think synthetic hair would be ruined the same way a HH wig would. Judge Milian’s assertion, however, that it could not have been a long wig, is erroneous. I once myself accidentally ruined a long wig in a similar way when it ended up in my laundry by mistake. There was absolutely NOTHING that could have been done to salvage my wig, which looked much like this one.

Even had they been requested to wash it on purpose, the cleaners should have refused to do so because of the potential dmage it would cause to hair. The cleaner goofed, and so did the judge. I do not however think it was a good ideas to take this to TV court.

Such a case is certainly a tragedy, but in the language of Shulchan Aruch is NOT an “aguna”. “

It most certainly is today. It means any woman who is not free to re-marry. Most commonly it was that men went off to war or merchant vessels, and were missing in action or lost at sea, but with no body recovered, thus rendering it assur for them to re-marry. Their wives were known as agunos. But it has come to also mean ANY woman who cannot halachically remarry.

AOM and dunno both gave the same p’sak I got, but I was told to microwave the water for ten minutes, so the steam covers every part of the microwave, and then to move the cup over, so the spot that had been directly under it also gets kashered. Then throw the cup away. A big styrofoam cup is good for this.

The only people who can really speak to this issue are people who have R”L lost a baby. I doubt there are many people who would welcome such a “nisayon” that makes them “stronger.” Many people do NOT become stronger, Marriages fall apart, people have nervous breakdowns, and the rest of the family dynamic is forever altered.

The only right thing to do is BE THERE for the grieving parents, cry with them, help them with mundane chores, shop for them, cook for them, and watch their other kids, if any. Above all, keep your platitudes to yourself. Perhaps some extraordinary people want to hear them, but most parents are not in a place where that is a comfort in any way. The worst thing you can say is stuff like Hashem only gives tzoros to people who are strong enough to handle them. You think THAT gives someone chizuk???? My husband’s sister lost her daughter at age 12, very suddenly. DO you know that there were some incredible blockheads who told her, “You’re young enough to have another baby.” Seriously??? That’s what you tell a woman who has just lost her beloved daughter? It happened that she was NOT able to have more children (she had another younger daughter, but couldn’t conceive again). But so what – does a new baby discount the older one? People are beyond insenstive sometimes. It never ceases to amaze me.

“Technically, an aguna is a woman who’s husband disappeared, NOT one refused a get. “

An agunah is any woman who is prevented from remarrying, whether because her husband disappeared deliberately or againt his will, or if he refuses to give her a Get. She is chained to a marriage with no way out. I know a woman whose rabbonim, after unsuccessfully making several attempts to encourage her recalcitrant husband (who was trying to extort money from her family) to give her the Get after many years that they no longer lived together, finally told the husband that unless he gives it to her immediately, they will collectively daven for her to be kosher to marry a kohein on such and such a day the next week. She was called to a Beis Din to receive her Get within 48 hours.

Each case is different, each physical connection is different, and each surgery is different. So it is a different shailah every time.

When one conjoined twin dies (if natural causes), the other may die as well. This is what reportedly happened with the famous “Siamese” twins Chang and Eng (who were not Siamese, BTW), for whom the condition of being conjoined was named. One of the brothers died, and several hours later, so did the surviving twin. This would tend to support the idea of the twin being a rodef, as the shared circulatory and respiratory system could have ramifications on both. I would think that if they were not joined except by a flap of cartilage, there would be no problem in halacha, with separating them.

First of all, Helpful, who appointed you the arbiter of what halachically entitles a woman to a divorce? Do you think that it might not be possible that this woman is filled with shame at whatever her husband did to get put in cheirem? Maybe as a result, she feels she can no longer live with him, and does not want her children exposed to his bad middos? You and I do not know the circumstances (and it is not our business), but l’kaf zechus, she may have VERY compelling reasons to want and deserve a Get from him. I would be disgusted with such a man, unless he was totally innocent of any wrongdoing, which is not very likely, as people do not generally put others in cheirem on a whim.

Boy, am I sorry I made so MANY typos! (must have eaten too many latkes)

A freilichen, lichtigen, Chanukah!!!!!

While I substantially agree with this post, I have to say that sensitivity is a two-way street. The one who are not yet married, have children, good jobs, etc. have to also be sensitive to the fact that walking on eggshells around you, makes these get-togethers very uncomfortable and awkward for the person who has to refrain from showing excitement that their baby has just reacjhed a major milestone (because someone there has no children),or that the wedding plans have come together (when someone else is not yet married). Both sides needs to act and speak with sensitivity to each other.

My children had a very tough time conceiving, and had a miscarriage when they finally did, after several years. At the same time that this happened, my friend became a grandmother. Should I have stayed away from the bris or not allowed her to express her joy to me, ebcause I was sad about our situation? That is selfish, I am sorry to say. I trylu believe that when we show Hashem we are genuinely happy for someone else’s simcha, He looks to increase our own simcha.

So don’t go overboard,everyone be sensitive in both ways to everyone, and try to not take these things personally. I kow it’s harder some times than others, but family get togethers will ALWAYS be what they are. If it is too painful, stay away. Honestly.

“Our doughnuts are even more problematic, since they are eaten as a desert”

If I ate donuts as a desert, I would most likely be a snake or alternatively possibly be AWOL. (sorry about the corny humor).

If I ate them for dessert, however, I would be very content to make an entire meal of them.

This entire thread is getting overblown. There is no issur on getting together with family on a day when most people are off from work, and eating a nice dinner together. SO WHAT if it’s turkey??? Our mesorah is that turkey is kosher, and if we follow the mesorah for everything else, this too should be accepted without further discussion. You don’t want to eat it? Don’t. Mesorah/halacha says that giraffe is also a kosher animal. But if someone was stupid enough to try to shecht one (or could not care less about wild life conservation), I still would not eat it, no matter how it was prepared.

As to the celebration aspect, we give thanks every day to H”KBH for everything in our lives. We have every right and CHIYUV to give Him thanks for allowing us to live in a country that extends religious freedom to us, a freedom we clearly take for granted, if we even have to discuss this issue. Even if it is a secular holiday, meaning it is not a HOLY day, it is a day that has meaning for us all, and is a reminder to stop and smell the roses along the way, and not take everything we have here for granted. How many of us DO that every day, even as we say Modeh Ani?

There is nothing wrong with Thanksgiving. It’s not Oso Ish-related

or a church celebration, either, in nature. I wish people who object could just look at it a little more objectively.

My daughter also wrote my husband and me each a truly moving and beautiful letter of her tremendous hakoras hatov for our raising her, and for all that we had done for her all her life and in bringing her to her chuppah. it was filled with love, and is making me tear up even as I write about it.

When you call the store by a catchy name like “Dimensions” or “Woman of Substance” the ones who need to know, will find out, and those who do not, won’t shop there when they see it is for real women with non-anorexic size 0 bodies. It’s not like the stores are named “Chubs ‘r’ Us.”

Most malls have plus-size stores these days.

Dear Ploni,

Thank you so much for the beautiful (generous) and thoughtful whatever-it-is that you gave me on the occasion of whatever.(If a gifty-gift) I am sure it will grace my table (house) for many years to come, and I will always think of you when I use it. (If a cash gift – I am saving for a new couch, sefer, computer, etc. and your gift will enable me to reach my goal that much sooner.)

Most especially, I want to thank you for sharing in our simcha. B”EH, we should be zochim to be m’shaleim lachem k’gmulchem hatov.

Thanks blinky – I am still shy of the birthday that marks the midway point.

McDs is primnarily a treif restaurant. Starbucks is primarily a coffee house where the coffee it sells is kosher. When one goes into a treif burger palce, it is more likely he is there to order a burger than a cup of cafe. When he is in Starbucks, it is more likely he is there for the coffee, not the unkosher baked goods.

double letters is an OLD OLD game

Paula YOung – are you serious??????? You may as well set fire to your $100 bills.