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You know what ingredients are kosher. So skip those recipes that contain them, “
of course I MEANT to say… “you know what ingredients are NOT kosher…” I was so upset by Mosherose’s over-the-top comment that I lost my head.
I had an experience in trying to help someone be mekareiv someone else, and it had disastrous results for me. A friend was getting married and having a very small Shabbos Kallah, to which she invited one of her non-religious female co-workers and me. I was specifically invited to serve as an additional frum female role model for this girl (who happened to be a very sweet person, btw).
We were shown to our respective rooms after we finished talking for the evening follwoing the Shabbos meal. I noticed that the girl turned her light on. Not wanting to make her feel bad for doing something that the hostess had actually asked her not to do, I asked her if she would be able to sleep with the light on, and of course she told me it would not be a problem ebcause she would just turn it off again.
Big shot tzadeikess that I was,out to save the world one neshama at a time, I offered to switch rooms with her so she would not turn out the light, which I reminded her our hostess didn’t want her to do. She agreed to the switch – and then she turned the light on and off in MY former room, ebcause she needed it “just for a second.”
So here I was in a room with a bright light on all night, she turned the light on and off in the other room anyway, AND to add insult to injury, there was absolutely no heat in that room, which was more like an indoor porch. It was December, and about 30 degrees. I caught a really bad chest cold that night. That was not the bad part.
The bad part was two days later, when my Bubby who lived with us, caught my bad chest cold, and almost ended up in the hospital because of it. No good deed goes unpunished (fortunately I do not really subscribe to that belief).
Kiruv takes a lot of hard work and should not be viewed lightly. Not everyone is capable of or the right shaliach to be mekareiv another Jew to actually become frum. All we can hope to do is set the right example, be menschen to them and to each other, and hope it rubs off enough for them to want to search further. That is exactly what happened to my husband some 40 years ago.
Old Wives’ tales…ya gotta love ’em.
Moshe Rose, just when I think you couldn’t possibly say anything more controversial, you prove me wrong. There are LOTS of wonderful recipes in the treifest of treif cookbooks. You know what ingredients are kosher. So skip those recipes that contain them, or do as some have said here, and adapt them for kosher cooking.
There would be no Chinese, Italian, or French restaurants if people followed your way of thinking. You limit yourself greatly AND are virtually motzi shem ra on your friends at whose home you refuse to eat now. But carry on…
grandchild — that is my very favorite word in ANY language.
I also saw something similar once, and the emes is the marriage broke up within a few months. I am thinking the chosson in that case felt guilty about going through with the wedding when he was very conflicted about marrying her. Hope that was not what happened in your scenario.
In the olden days, a guy who worked the fields and helped support his family was more mature at 18 than are many of boys at 25.
You really wouldnt believe it”
Yes, you are correct about that.
Same as for any roast chicken. Lots of onions, lots of garlic, paprika, kosher salt, and white wine, if desired. Bake,covered at 350 until tender, then uncover to brown.
Aries nailed it. Totally.
I tried focusing on the reasons for this fast, and the tragedy that already happened even before today.
what about swimming 🙂 “
Mikehall, I haven’t done that in YEARS.
Grill it, does not give you a sense of the type of restaurant this is supposed to be. I think “baguette” should be somewhere in the title.
Because of a “breach” in our Security.
Though I have never tried it, and hope to never be in a position where I would benefit from it medically, I absolutely support the medically-supervised use of marijuana, by people undergoing chemotherapy. it has been demonstrated to reduce the nausea many people experience, and if it helps, I say go for it. But only under expert medical supervision.
Unless they are VERY young, the day is VERY hot, and they have no alternative to keeping cool, I would not allow my kids to go swimming today. And in the aforementioned dire case, I would say sprinklers are enough to cool them off,and even that, feels wrong to me, if there are other ways to handle the heat.
It is far easier, haifagirl, to add layers of clothing in cold weather, than to do the reverse in excruciatingly HOT temperatures. Give me the A/C everytime.
oomis – please don’t forget about little old me. I am here mainly to learn, but I do have opinions as well, if I am certain that I understand the topic and feel that I can contribute. “
Chas v’Sholom, I was not excluding you. The frum continuum is diverse. We are all at some level, from the least observant to the very most chumrohdig rightest of right winger. And we all have an opinion and can express it (again, respectfully, is the way to go, always). You are not “little old” ANYBODY, Minyan Gal!
That reminds me of a bad joke:
A guy is commiserating with his friend.”I can;t seem to find the right girl. I brought home girl after girl and my mother said no to all of them. Finally, I found THE girl. My mother loved her. She RAVED about her. She was absolutely crazy about her and said she reminded her of herself as a young woman.”
“So what happened?” the friend asked.
“My FATHER hated her.”
I don’t like either name at all. Sorry. Baguette Bistro from Mewho sounds more interesting. La Belle Baguette? Baguette Bonanza?
If this is real, the answer is simple. Some people are shallow jerks.
EDITED
BPT, who is lady G, and how do you know about her? (JK, although I find her abhorrent, personally).
Adorable, a wife that is suitable for their son, SHOULD be a good daughter-in-law for the mothers, IMO. If she inherently would be a bad DIL, then she probably would not be the best role model for the children the son will help bring into the world. There is suitable, and there is suitable. Not everyone can love her DIL and not every DIL can love her MIL, but there should be mutual respect shown to them, or the son will be caught in a tug of war between them.
Is this true? I have contributed to HASC in the past, but I don’t even want to buy the HASC albums I am missing if one red cent supports an organization like this. “
I worked in HASC myself many years ago, and my son has worked there for a few years. I have never heard of such a thing. Quite possibly there could be a parent who would make such a request (and if so, I feel sorry for whatever makes them feel it is necessary to do that, but I am not in their shoes, so I cannot judge), but I have never heard of it. I will ask my son. Do not judge the families OR the camp, if this is the case. They could be protecting the anonymity of their clients.
Oomis – And you so missed my point! What is the difference of him going to a Jewish store or him stopping “
No I did not miss your point. I simply disagree with you. If there are people in a store, lots of people around, it is safer than a random stranger on the street. Unless a child walks into an unsavory place, like a pool hall, the chances are the people in the store will help him, and they are all witnesses to each other’s actions. THAT is the difference between a store and an individual on the street.
The two of them need counseling together and separately,and HE may be in strong need of therapy and medication. It sounds like he is clinically depressed, which is very understandable under the circumstances. If not, and if he is just enjoying the status quo and is lazy, then she has a hard decision to make. Is he at least doing SOMETHING when he is not working? Could he work in her business with her?
This is the kind of thing that wrecks marriages (and not only among the frum).
Fix-it-up, one of the things I truly love (and I mean that I really do enjoy being here) about the CR, is that there is an eclectic group of us all on the frum continuum, and we all are able to express our opinions (hopefully always in a respectful manner, of course). Some of the more Yeshivish among us, have not had the opportunity to hear a differing view from their own, and though I personally am not seeking to CHANGE anyone’s mind (nor could I), I like the idea that as a frum Yid, my opinion has a forum that at least makes someone else THINK, if only to argue with me that I am wrong. Sometimes I am. Sometimes even THEY are….er…Mosherose…cough, cough.
If a frum Jewish girl starts wearing a nose-ring it’s a huge statement about how she perceives herself and how she would like to be perceived”
There was a time thousands of years ago, when that was a typical fashion. Didn’t Eliezer give Rivkah such a gift?
oomis: Are you a misnagid by any chance?? I’m truly sorry that Chassidim and their views intimidate you in any way? Sorry to disappoint you but tznius was made for everyone not only Chasidim. “
Nope, not at all. Chassadim do not intimidate me, as you put it. I come from Chassidic background from my Zaydy, though I was not brought up in a chassidish household. I find it interesting that you did not address the point I was making, that tznius is supposed to reflect NOT calling attention to ourselves. I said the same thing about Chareidi dress. People can dress in a normal fashion that blends in with everyone else and still be completely tzniusdig. I see it all the time wherever I go. But when a chossid or other type of chareidi person goes by, their clothing is immediately and particularly eye-catching, which would seem to me to defeat the purpose of dressing tzniusdigly. That is an observation on my part, NOT a putdown of Chassidim or anyone else.
Why can you not address that point withiout ascribing to it some agenda on my part? No one has ever given me a satisfactory answer on this issue, but instead, becomes defensive.
Yes, you must always show kibud av v’em, except in response to a specific request to do something against halacha. After refusing to do what they wanted, you must still show them kibud for other things. Parents are in a special category. They gave us our lives. By the way, the halacha is to honor them, but it actually says nothing about LOVING them, as contrasted with the Shema, in which we are commanded to love Hashem with all our hearts, souls, and capabilities.
WIY, I really liked your response to MR’s post.
In reference to the idea that al tarbeh sicha refers to sicha prior to intimacy, did not chazal also say that a man should speak words of love to his wife at those times? I cannot imagine it could be “too much,” to be complimenting her appearance and expressing his feelings for her at that time. (Mods, please don’t edit me…)
oomis- it sounds like you were not set up through a shadchan. that could make it even harder. I wish you all lots of luck its very hard “
I am married thirty-four years already. In both cases (the break up with the first guy and my marriage to my wonderful hubby), we met on our own in an environment that was conducive to frum kids meeting and getting to know each other. Had I done “research” (and what is this a term paper, or a potential marriage partner), it would never have revealed the flaw in my ex boy-friend. EVERYONE was flabbergasted to see what an unmenschlech thing he did. They never would have guessed that he of all people would unceremoniously dump a serious relationship without warning, rhyme, or reason, or that he would suddenly be enamored of money and go after a wealthy girl. Many of HIS close friends, thought he had lost his mind and were very angry with him. And we knew each other for almost two years. All the checking up in the world, does not reveal such lack of character until a person shows his true colors.
My husband has a temimus that is obvious to all who ever met him, and when he walked into the place where I worked (a Jewish Publication firm and bookstore), I could see who and what he was right away. He did not ask me out immediately, but waited a couple of months because he was getting over a relationship. But from our first date, I knew this was a special person, and with each date, my original convictions were re-confirmed. And he has never caused me to think otherwise.
Had we gone through a shadchan, we would not have met at all, because on paper, he was not a shidduch for me by any stretch of the imagination, and my parents would have said no. Once we started to date and my folks met him, they saw what I saw. A shadchan would have messed this up (and I suspect many of them do in the Yeshivish world, too).
I personally do not care for Facebook all that much. I think people (especially our kids) post really stupid things on it, that will come back to haunt them in the future, because once it is out there it is out there forever, even if you delete what you wrote later on (someone else may have already passed on your words to someone else).
There are a lot of things our Rabbonim may or may not have had. Many were poverty stricken. There is no gashmius in having cool air in the summer and heat in the winter (or should we advocate freezing to death as a GOOD thing?) Hashem put us in this world to enjoy it, not suffer (as some religions believe). it is hard to enjoy anything in temperatures of 85+ degrees, not to mention focus on learning.
True negative gashmius (because gashmius in and of itself is not a bad thing – we have to eat to live, we have to reproduce the species, we have to sleep – these are all aspects of gashmius), involves getting a fancier car than you really need, a bigger house, just to impress, lots of furs and jewelry (one fur is a warm coat in the winter, three or four is overkill, literally).
Taking many vacations a year might come under that umbrella (depending on circumstances). It’s all in how you live your life the rest of the time. If I want to eat a piece of steak or salmon, that is fine. If I go out to fancy restaurants 6 days of the week, maybe that’s a bit much. Hashem did not order us to suffer. In speaking of the mitzvos he said V’chai bahem. When we go before Him after 120 years, He will want to know if we made use of the wonderful things He gives us. Part of those things, is giving us the knowledge of how to build machines that make our lives a little easier.
Someone here met me recently and told me who she was and that she knew who I was. She was right! I have no problem with that.
But to stam shmooze with her? “
SO you don’t do it. I enjoy speaking with my husband and vice versa. And my husband absolutely IS my buddy, my partner, the father of my children and Zaydy of our aineklach, my confidante, the person upon whom I depend and who depends on me. He has my back at all times, and I have his. And we love to talk to each other and strengthen the bond between us. He is an intelligent, loving person, with a great deal to say, sometimes about trivialities and sometimes about things that are more meaninful, and I hope he feels the same way about me. Maybe some people have nothing to say to each other, and that saddens me. But don’t quote chazal to “prove” that the rest of us are wrong.
ommis, it is not just semantics that you are arguing. complete emunah is believing that whatever happens, happened by the hand of Hashem”
Your understanding of what Yad Hashem means, and mine, may be different. Perhaps Leiby would have died by some other means had he not encountered Levi Aron. But the fact is he DID encounter him, and that encounter is what caused his death. Clearly Hashem made that decree for Leiby to die that day by the hand of that man in that way. Does it make ANY of us feel better to know that?
I think we should focus on ways to prevent this type of horror from occurring to another child chalilah. I am not arguing with anyone here. I just see this from a different perspective, one in which we learn from this tragedy how to be better people, and how to better protect our precious children.
Health, you misunderstand, I have no such hindsight. This tragedy unfortunately was decreed and I doubt it could have been prevented. But perhaps future similar tragedies can be averted by making ALL our kids more street savvy. And I think a frum 9 year old can tell which store is owned by a Jew.
(Mosherose)If you think yur leeching off the shul then maybe you shouldn’t go to that shul for a shiur or any minyanim?
(DY)Ever hear of Hillel?”
Good answer. Really good.
No one can be responsible for a goy using an excuse to kill Jews. They need no excuses.
The main reason a tragedy like this could happen is because our children are not being taught to be streetwise. Instead of going off with a stranger, a nine year old boy is fully capable of understanding that he should go into the nearest store and ask for help. We insulate our children SO much that they cannot recognize stranger danger, because the stranger looks like other Jews. Monsters do not always look monstrous. Kids need to be carefully taught not to EVER go with ANYONE, even a woman. It is really high time we stopped hiding our heads in the sand and expecting miracles. My heart BREAKS for the Kletzky family, and I cannot get out of my mind the fear this poor sweet child must have felt. It keeps me up at night. We have to learn from this tragedy and teach our kids to protect themselves.
Perhaps you need to understand exactly what they meant by that. Maybe they are referring to sicha of laytzanus or anger. If a woman needs her husband to talk to her and listen to her, and he doesn’t, then he is not putting very much into married life, is he? Hashem told Avraham Avinu to listen to all that his wife said to him. Suppose he had decided not to have that conversation with her about Yishmael. We do not live in the times of the Chazal that suggested that (is it halacha, because if so, I know an awful lot of Rabbonim who are not following what Chazal said).
These days I play with my aineklach. Better than a yoyo.
A man is not supposed to socialize with his own wife let alone with his friends wife. Al tarbeh sicha I’m haisha “
Are you married yet? Do yourself a favor and ignore your own advice. Sholom Bayis is not always easy to come by. I am now sure you are just a devil’s advocate trying to bait us all. No one could possibly believe what you wrote and have a happy wife.
Mosherose, you are incorrect. Moreover, I would LOVE to see how you would handle a screaming, “dancing” child who needs to get to the bathroom RIGHT NOW, in the same circumstance.
Oomis – Kidnapping is not a capital crime unless the victim is sold as a slave.
“
If so, I stand corrected, thank you. I don’t recall being taught that, but it’s a long time since I was in Yeshivah. So all of Yosef’s brothers were chayav misah?
Rishus IS perpetrated by sane people. This act of violence goes way beyond rishus. It would have been rishus to kill the boy. What this twisted man did goes against all human decency. Nobody normal could kill a child and put his body parts in his freezer.
Here’s a thought. DON’T use Shadchanim. Let kids meet each other naturally in normal environments, learn how to hold normal conversations with each other, learn on their own how to deal with rejection that inevitably will come their way, pick themselves up, dust themselves, off, and start all over again. Leave third parties out of your private business, leave MOTHERS to do mothering and not run interference, and let our young adults actually learn to be real adults on their own.
oomis – the question was is a 10 year old old enough to wait outside alone while his parent is inside? And what is the cutoff age? “
Yes I know. It works either way. The problem was the four or five year old little GIRL that was asked to be watched by Wolf, wasn’t it? You don’t leave a child that young with strangers, no matter how friendly they appear to be. The older child could have gone inside with the father waiting with the younger one by the door, OR TAKE THE LITTLE GIRL with him, hold her and shield her eyes.
After age 6 or so it becomes more problematic, and I would not put myself in such a situation. Go with your spouse whenever possible. Little boys DO need to use restrooms, and moms certainly cannot go into a men’s room with an 8 year old son, nor should that son be in the ladies room.
A person can be judged insane, but guilty. Do you think Hitler Y”Sh was a SANE man, or Saddam Hussein, or David Berkowitz? I am sorry that people have this type of mental illness, but they are still guilty of horrific crimes and cannot get away with them because they are crazy.
Clearly Levi Aron knew what he was doing when he kidnaped Leiby and shlepped him to a wedding in Monsey. He further had enough wits about him to PANIC when he realized how many people were searching for the boy, and commit an act of violence that stuns the world, not just the Jewish community. I am sorry for his family, who will forever live with the knowledge of their raising such a twisted monster.