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A silver mezuzah is never wrong to give.
They did not give you a gift because they don’t give gifts, as per their usual practice. Go thou and do likewise (and no, it’s not nekama – it really makes people feel very uncomfortable when you do something for them that they don’t do themselves). Clearly they do not expect any gifts, so don’t give any.
I remember being in a crib in my parents bedroom with the A/C on. I only remember it, because I recall standing up in the crib. I could not have been more than 2-3.
Yetzer hara go away!
Don’t come back another day!
Yetzer Tov, please hurry back,
Please don’t let me get off-track!
MAZEL TOV ARIES!!!!!! Much nachas.
I went to the cemetery with my husband and children, because my husband has yahrtzeit for his father O”H today. It is five years, and still feels like yesterday.
Then we came back, and my husband and I went to sit at a dock area not far from our neighborhood. It is extremely peaceful and beautiful there. Now I am just chillin’ in the CR.
Mazel tov on the birth of your precious baby, and refuah shelaima from your condition. You have not one but SEVERAL reasons to explain your tears. You ARE hormonal, your baby is demanding at this point, and you are ill, but getting insufficient rest. Have someone find a mother’s helper for you, so you can rest between feedings (money well-spent, or find a chessed student who needs the hours). The main thing is the resting. it will help with your recuperation both from childbirth AND pneumonia. Your husband or other family members need to step up to the plate if they have not already done so. If I am repeating what others have already posted a) we are all correct and b) I have not yet had the chance to read them all, but wanted to reply ASAP.
And I know it’s an old saw, but SLEEP WHEN THE BABY SLEEPS. DO NOT use that time to make calls, or catch up on laundry, cooking, etc. Your baby will not appreciate a mom who is exhausted, and if you are always exhausted, how can you optimally appreciate the miracle of your baby? If people ask how they can help you, ask them to watch the baby while you rest. I cannot say that more strongly.
This ezact thing happened on a bus in Israel, where I noticed a young frum woman whose button had either popped off or opened. She cwas ressed very tzniusdikly, and I am sure was totally unaware. As some non-frum boys (though that matters not at all), seemed quite interested in staring at her, I tapped a woman closer to her (we were standing)and explained about the “kaftor hapatuach” the open button. I asked her to quietly let the young lady know, which she did, and she immediately put her bag up in front of her. Somebody has to say SOMETHING, rather than allow her to continue to unknowingly be showing that which she assuredly would not want to show.
Boys do get hurt, and sometimes even when they do go out, the girl acts in a foolish or unmenschlech way. Yes, the GIRL.
We cannot be all things to all tzedakas. I give where I can, and will NEVER pledge on the phone any dollar amount. Just today alone I received 8 phone calls for separate tzedakas. I received two letters in the mail from the same mosad, addressed to the two of us as a couple, each with a different amount “pledged” and I do not pledge, I only say send me an envelope and I will see what I can do.
Don’t feel bad for nto giving. Just resolve to give generously when you can.
Your only alternative is to climb a tree and act like you’re nuts… 😉
Most rabbonim sell ALL the chometz in one’s home.
There is freedom of speech, and 77 WABC is generally totally supportive of Israel, but a paid ad, is a paid ad. The Neturei Karta, DO consort with sonei Yisroel, and on that basis, there should be a backlash against them, whether or not they make ANY viable points. They hurl their venomous rhetoric on the most public of forums, make a considerable Chillul, because people who view them as frum hold them up in a,”See, even the ultra Orthodox Jews are against Israel,” way, which undermines OTHER frum segments of our population who are staunch supporters. It should only be battled from within, however. We do not need the world to be an arena in which they see Jewish factions duke it out.
Not all people read ALL comments. Sometimes thereare just too many, bli ayin hara.
“(does a smiley face count the same as the sarcasm face?)
😉 “
Sometimes, but not usually. 🙂
(And yes, I got it)
Daas Yochid, it was thoughtful of you to post, but I knew the lyrics from when Archie and Edith re-recorded the opener. Edith made a special point of strongly enunciating that line,” Gee… our old La SALLE…RAN….GREAT…”
Great guns, Goq!!!!!
The classic for me in secular tunes was the old Archie Bunker theme. I NEVER could get the enxt to the last line of the song (the one that was just before “those were the days…”) It didn’t sound like ANYTHING comprhensible. I subsequently learned what it was. Apparently many people had the same issue with the lyrics, and the lead actors re-recorded the opener of the show, after several years, with a much clearer (slowly and deliberately enunciated) version.
37 is the age I wish I were again….sigh…
Ostensibly, they dress as they do to not imitate chukas hagoyim, so how do they justify taking garb that is SPECIFICALLY muslim?
Goq, first, invites DO get lost in the mail. It happened to me when an entire box of Bar-Mitzvah invitations that I sent to Brooklyn were ALL not received. That was an awkward thing. And even if you are HIGHLY thought of at work, and I am sure you must be, sometimes people have it in mind they did invite someone, when they simply forgot. That happened to me, too. We are all human, and we err. And sometimes little kids help to fill the envelopes and put the addresses on, and they mess up.
And yes, sometimes people just do thoughtless things and invite everyone BUT someone in a specific group.It’s wrong, but it is a part of life. Wish them mazel tov, and be the bigger person for it. You may discover that you WERE meant to be invited. And if not, so be it.
Yaffa80 – You could have easily and believably said, “Oh, I wish I known sooner. Being that I thought I was not invited, I accepted another invitation for that night. But I wish you much mazel tov.” I personally do not hold from that, and just accepted an invite to my son’s friend’s wedding which I received two weeks before the wedding. They said it was an oversight. I take them at tjheir word, but even if not, I believe it is a big zechus to not be broigez, and to be mesameach with someone, even at the last minute.
adorable
Right. That’s why I don’t have a problem if the good drivers speed”
Would you have a problem with him, if he got stopped by a cop and was ticketed? What if did not get stopped by a cop, but hit another car? 80 MPH in a 50 zone?????? And you were ok with that?
As to the comment about being tired after the date, that is why in all my dating history, with one exception, I never sent a guy home after the date,without first asking him in for some coffee, even when I knew there was not a snowball’s chance in Miami that I would ever go out with him again.
we know what they thought about people who ate while walking down the street. they are passul from aidus. did they make a gezeirah”
I guess they never met a falafal stand.
And conversely, just because “a SMALL part of Orthodoxy” does something, does not make it assur.”
I am correcting myself, humbly. I MEANT to say, just because a small part of Orthodoxy does something,does not make it HALACHA.
Brow shadow can help to fill in, but it will grow back soon.
It took me over six months. I thought I was getting engaged, and had no clue the guy was about to say goddbye and good luck. Except he didn’t have the decency to do even that. One day I thought we were getting engaged and the next day I never heard from him again. we knew each other for about a year when this happened. Even HIS friends couldn’t believe what he did. They also thought he was about to propose to me. And no, it really was NOTHING that I did. He had met a rich girl, and dumped me without bothering to let me know.
Many of our mutual chevra, stopped talking to him after that. No one would ever have guessed from their association with him,that he could possibly possess such a lack of middos. My family and I were completely fooled. I had just turned 21. It really was a very painful experience, but thank G-d, I met my husband instead, and that was a bracha of indescribable proportions.
Actually, numerous poskim over the centuries have used that argument to declare things mutar. “
Good point. Acharei rabbim l’hatos.
Just because “a large part of Orthodoxy” does something, does not make it permissible. “
And conversely, just because “a SMALL part of Orthodoxy” does something, does not make it assur.
If the child can hear with CI (B”H), I think it would be wonderful for them to learn to play an instrument. I am not certain about the violin, because of its placement, and the position in which the head is usually held, but if the CI is internal,I would think it could work. Go for it, but speak to the doc first, to make sure there would not be any contraindication
She should have boiled the toddler’s mouth or done libun. 😉
Really, a baby is a baby, there is no aveira. The mom should learn from this and possibly refrain from having that type of chometz around for a couple of weeks BEFORE Pesach. I used to buy only Pesachdig nosh (just a little bit) for my kids the week before, so they did not bring additional chometz into the house. So if I found a cookie crumb, it was a non-gebrochts cookie (no matzoh or its derivatived prior to the Sedarim, after Purim), and I didn’t have to worry.
BTW, people who really are being sarcastic or mean to be funny (in their opinion), shouls use the 😉 symbol after what they write, to show it is meant in fun. That would go a long way to help prevent the situation when someone feels insulted where no insult was meant.
I am of the opinion that if you like a group a lot, do NOT leave because one person hurt your feelings. Coming back after such an insult shows class on your part. If the person coninues to be offensive, perhaps you can tell the person very politely,” Ihave always thought well of you – why would you say something mean-spirited like that?” That will usually stop them in their tracks.
And it is correct – if someone embarrasses you b’rabbim and you remain silent, your next move is to give brachos to people, because Hashem is especially predisposed to hearing these brachos from someone like you in that moment.
HaMakom Yeracheim olov b’soch sh’or cholei Yisroel.
LIKE
I don’t think anyone ignores anyone here. It may be that the point you might make does not require a comment, because it was so well-made, it stands on its own. I don’t know. I read most psots, but don’t respond to all of them.
OK, this is how I feel about life in the CR (and elsewhere). NOT EVERYBODY has to like us, agree with us, date us, hire us, even TALK to us. We will win some and lose some. Some people will have a dialogue with us, because they are genuinely interested in our point of view. Some will say, their opinion in the only valid one, so they prefer not to waste their time hearing yours.
This is an anonymous forum, albeit one where we have developed a community of “friendship.” Though, to my knowledge, I have not met any of you IRL, I have come to know you (to a limited degree) through your posts, both in style and content. I think most of us enjoy that relationship, so we tend to forget there are real people with real feelings who still might feel hurt, even by anonymous posters. IMO, no one should leave a group because someone disagrees with them, or has a different hashkafa. But neither should we express our disagreement in insulting terms. I hope I have never done that.
” Not if you’re lactose intolerant 😉 “
PAREVE cheesecake, then…. :p
I have mostly been to frum weddings, with only three weddings in my life that were for non-observant relatives. I started attending weddings as a young adult in the early 1970s. ALL the women wore gowns. What you and I call a gown might differ, but any ankle/floor length dressy occasion dress is a gown. If it is a shorter length dressy dress, it is called a cocktail dress (stupid name). My Bubby, who was as tsniusdig a rebbetzin as they come, wore a floor length navy blue gown to my parents’ wedding, a VERY long time ago. Some were more shtotty-looking, and some were simpler fabric. They were all gowns. Maybe we have a semantic issue here.
I have long been amazed that we even have women at weddings at all. After all, she doesn’t really need to be there. K’ddushin can be done via a sh’liach. Nisuin requires no more than two witnesses and doesn’t need to involve any more than a car trip from her parents’ home to the chosson’s home.”
It sure would save on the catering costs.
In regards to Canine who asserts that it is only recently that the mothers and sisters have taken to wearing gowns – what century were you born in? Gowns have ALWAYS been worn by the mothers, grandmothers, sisters, and bridal party members (and most of the female guests as well, until recent years). When I was going to my friends’ weddings over thirty years ago, ALL the women attending were in fancy gowns.
I TOTALLY agree with Truthsharer. Whoever it was that decided the msot appropriate palce for a shidduch date was a LOUNGE in some hotel, should have his head examined. There are people committing all kinds of untzniusdig acts there, picking women up, doing other things. Frum young people should not be exposed to that on a date. what happened to that old standard – – the airport?
If I were having dinner and it was a glass of wine, I would not think of it in the same way as tossing back a beer or a scotch on the rocks. I don’t think it is a smart move for either boy or girl to order alcoholic beverages, but to each his own.
Whoa! A whole new level of crazy. Let’s botox the toddlers for beauty pageants, and raise kids without telling Gramma and Grampa whether they have a grandson or granddaughter. I guess the grandparents don’t babysit much.
Nothing changed. Therer are those that hold that ain simcha elah b’vasar v’yayin, and will primarily choose to eat fleishigs on Shavuos. There are those who follow the minhag that fish is also a type of “basar” and who believe that when the Torah was given, the laws of milchigs and fleishigs made all the keilim treif, and it was easier to prepare milchigs for yom tov and not have to worry about shechting animals. So they primarily choose to eat dairy. There is a great deal of simchas yom tov to be found in a slice of cheesecake, wouldn’t you agree?
You did not write her name on your SHOES, did you? Then how could you show deliberate disdain. Next thing, people will be afraid to erase their names on paper, even if misspelled.
Keenobserver, your scientific acumen notwithstanding (NOT being sarcastic, as you made a good point), how a person metabolizes one beer, depends on many factors, including height and weight, what he had to eat and drink besides the beer, etc. On an empty stomach, it can go right to his head.
EEEWWWWW! Besides potentially being dangerous, if he is driving, it is SO unclassy to do that, especially on a first date. Though I am not much of a drinker, I am not a teetotaler, either. But I would never drink even ONE drink, if I would be driving, and certainly not on a date. Especially not on a first date.
All good deeds get cheshboned in, regardless of intent. If you give tzedaka, but don’t really think about what you are doing, you still get the credit. It might be BETTER if you did it for the right reason, but much as kavana is a good thing for certain types of mitzvos, you still get brownie points for doing them. Do you think every guy who gets up to lay tefillin in shul on a freezing winter morning, WANTS to????? But still, he does it.
Every chessed I do is for a “selfish” reason. It makes me feel good. So I guess technically, I am not doing it l’shma. Does the fact that I derive a benefit make it any less worthy????
Many, MANY actors and actresses were typically extremely shy people and performing was a way of bringing them out of that shell (by becomeing “someone else,” in effect.
Stage fright is a case of performance anxiety. Even the most extroverted people can get stage fright in the right circumstances, i.e. actually performing, meeting a date for the first time, being interviewed for a job, etc. It depends on the sdpecific circumstance. It is said that Barbra Streisand, clearly a seasoned perfomrer, would get stage fright before every single performance. The adrenaline rush that comes from that fright, is often what propels a performer to do an outstanding job.
I heard of a book that was written to prove that every single language ultimately derives from Hebrew. Certainly there are many cognates in the English-Hebrew languages. One of the most interesting ones in recent years is a word that is in usage and means all’s well. The word is “copacetic” and it derives from the Hebrew expression “hakol b’seder,” the response of an Israeli fighter (so I heard) to an American query to him as to how the situation was going. The American relayed the message that the Israelis say everything is copacetic.
Thanks, Gefen, I really only said what so many others are saying.
“Maybe go out for pizza. Buy her a certificate to have her nails done or something.”
Now THAT did not sound condescending at all.
“How are you defining kedusha? Kedushah comes from the word to “separate”. How is there “separation” in your proposal?
The way to “ELEVATE the occasion” is by making it “separate” and by extension kadosh.”
I believe I mentioned separate seating (for those who would be very troubled by family-style seating). Both parents brought the child into the world. Both should be able to shep the nachas. JMO (and apparently that of others, as well).
LOVE this discussion!!!!!