oomis

ItcheSrulik – Miztvos Bein Adam LaMakom are important. But what many frum-looking people do not “get” is that mitzvos Bein Adam l’Chaveiro are ALSO Mitzvos Bein Adam LaMakom!That is one of the reasons why Hashem is not mechapeir on those mitzvos, because the Oveir not only transgressed against Hashem, he transgressed against another person, and he has to first seek redress with that person whom he damaged by his actions. So it’s a double whammy. Interesting, is it not, that of the three yehareig v’al yaavors, only ONE of them directly relates only to Hashem. The other two are affronts to Mankind AND Hashem.

Shlumiel (bem Tzurishakai) was also a bibilical name. Now I know a lot of guys whom I have thought were Shlumiels, but I don’t know of any who are actually thus named.

what is a normal drink? Did you mean REGULAR soda, as opposed to diet? Maybe they don;t want the extra calories. If you meant an alcoholic drink – why are you asking this?

Always return a greeting, to do otherwise is very rude.

Just as an aside: You should know a little vort my father O”H used to say over. Do you know why it is that when someone says “Sholom Aleichem” we reverse the order when responding and say “Aleichem Sholom?” it is because Sholom, being one of the Names of the RBSO, confers a level of Shemirah on the person who is makdim B’Sholom to someone. therefore nothing will happen to him between saying The Shem (Sholom) and the word aleichem. The responder however, no longer has that same Shemira, because he was NOT the makdim b’Sholom, so he says the Aleichem first, just chalilah in case something happens to interrupt his finishing saying the full expression, which would otherwise result in his saying Hashem’s Name l’vatalah.

The store owner was out of line in involving you. If the store owner is Jewish, suggest to him that he take the neighbor to a Din Torah, if he has no other recourse, but that it was Loshon Hara for him to write such a letter to you.

Now for the dan l’kaf zchus part – maybe the letter you got was bogus. How would someone happen to hit on YOUR name in a phonebook of a gazillion names, the one person who lives next door to this person he claims owes him money. But even if not, it is not right for anyone to send out such a card to you or anyone else.

Sorry, but if Shira is not a name, neither is Faigie, Mendel, Hershel, Alexander, and yes, ANY Jewish name, because ALL the names we originally find in the Torah were made up names, and all the names in Yiddish given in the Alter Heim were taken from German.

Chemistry is that “pull” towards each other. It can be based on looks, on personality, on something that is totally indefinable, but whatever it is, is causes one person to intially be attracted to another. That attraction is superficial, but it still is necessary to at least SOME extent. However, if there is nothing further to sustain the relationship after that initial attraction metamorphoses into familiarity, then it will not continue to flourish. Clicking is a good thing, but there has to be something more substantial there, to make it a real shidduch hagun.

Bochur 24 – I salute you. Aizehu chacham, halomeid mekall adam. If nothing else, you learn what you do not like, every time you go out with someone.

It is an important lesson in life to be able to spend somewhat large amounts of time with someone EVEN WHEN THERE IS NO TACHLIS, because you will encounter many people in your lifetime on job interviews, classes, you workday, etc. with whom you will not especially enjoy being. You still have to be able to carry on a conversation with many of them, and simply act civilly. Three hour dates are a good start for familiarizing you with one on one relationships that might possibly be uncomfortable. On the plus side, if you like the girl or boy, it is a nice amount of time getting to know them.

Why do people treat strangers better than their own family members, at times? It’s because they want to IMPRESS the stranger and don’t feel the need to do so for their own family.

The honor is to the meis, but sitting shiva is also an expression of profound grief. You would agree, would you not, that for a child to become a meshumad or marry a goy, would cause extensive grief to the parents and family members? Going off the derech is NOT the same thing, btw, event hough ti cause agmas nefesh.

A veritable promontory ! (Cyrano de Bergerac)

Eclipse, allergies will definitely widen your nose. My son has that problem. But it really looks worse to YOU, than to anyone looking at you. Believe me. Claritin D helps a bit.

Nothing wrong with any of the pictures of the married couples. And how would you know about it, unless you are on the site looking at them?

MEAT??????? Cholent is nothing without meat, Mod 80.

“You WILL NOT know the boy/girl better if you date 12 times versus 5 times.”

I could not disagree more with that statement.

The more time you spend with someone, the more likely it is that the “best behavior” they have been on for those first few dates, will level off to a more relaxed aspect of their personality, and they will let their guard down and act more as they typically do.

That may or may NOT be a good thing, but it could certainly bring to light things that were being kept hidden more easily in the beginning. Dating should not be about a number, but rather about the quality of a developing relationship. It is not so easy to fully develop a relationship in five dates, though it is a good start.

I do believe to large extent it is hereditary but also a learned function, as well. The fact that five children can be brought up in the same loving home and one of them does not have good middos, can only be explained as that child having inherited certain bad characteristics from other members of the family. But there is a great inyan of Nature Vs. Nurture, and even a child who might have a bad disposition can be taught to do chessed. Interesting question.

I do see that my husband is almost exactly like his father O”H, middos-wise, and that is most fortunate as my dear FIL was a tzaddik bein adam l’chaveiro. Unlike his father however, my husband chose to be frum. People tell me that my personality and actions are just like my mother’s O”H. I wish! She was a great lady.

Not many people do it today.

Don’t avoid him. He is not contagius. In fact, avoiding him will only make him feel isolated from his family at a time when he most needs love and guidance. Take your cues from Hashem. Hate the sin, but love the sinner.

Just because certain types of frum people CHOOSE not to do Some people do not want to join Facebook, and this is a great way to see pictures. There is nothing “obviously” immodest about it. You don’t want to do it – so don’t. Add my name to doodle’s list.

Gitty, I know you also for many years, though we are more “good acquaintances” than social friends. Next time I run into you, I will identify myself.I was very proud of you. I am sure you knew many of the other answers, but you have to buzz in at the right time – it’s not enough to know the answer. When I saw the FJ topic, I started to laugh. They must have thought it was fixed!!!!!! I am so happy for you. My local optometrist had told us he knew you were going to be on for two nights. Yasher kocheich.

BTW, I made over 30K “playing” the game last night. Too bad Alex Trebeck doesn’t know it! I could use the money…

Let me preface this by saying I absolutely do NOT eat Hebrew National. That being said, I once knew a rov whose father was a (RELIABLE)mashgiach for HN and who stated that the product was kosher.

I shmooze with some people every day, see others in Shul and talk after shul is over, and go out once or twice a month with some of them, for pizza, or over for a visit.

First of all you should ask your parents to explain to your brother that although he does not follow halacha, the atmosphere that they want to retain in the house especially for the rest of their children is one that does follow halacha. Therefore its only right that if he needs to watch movies he should use headphones so that everyone else not be disturbed.”

This is actually very good advice. You have gotten a lot of good advice from many posters. You are not your brother. You alone are responsible for your actions. Your parents have the right to expect that in their house there should be a level of discretion coming from someone who resides there, to follow the house rules. At the very least,he should not blatantly flout those rules.

You need to keep the lines of communication open, to see why your brother has changed. He will always be your brother no matter what, and you can possibly be influential on him, if he feels you are not against him and love him unconditionally. This is not an easy situation, but neither is it an uncommon one, unfortunately. But I reiterate, though you have no control over your brother’s actions, you have every control over your own.

The best translation I’ve heard for “fargin” is to begrudge, which is sort of a combination of resent and envy. “

That would be “jahliver” (hope I pronounced it right).

Fargin means the opposite or DON’T begrudge. Hence, I fargin him that he won the lottery. I just wish I had, too. You are being generous in your emotion al acceptance of someone else’s good fortune or accomplishment.

But – She was jealous of her friend being voted in as president of the women’s club, because she jahlivered her friend’s good luck.

OY vey, it’s not like he has a disability, chalilah. My daughter is a lefty. All my kids started out that way (as did I), but were able to easily and successfully be “righted.” My one child who would not change, was so stubborn about it that I didn’t want to mucher her. I saw it was really a strong predisposition. She is artistic, and very creative in other areas, as well.

BIG MITZVAH – MAMESH. Yasher koach.