TRUEBT

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  • in reply to: Who gains by flooding the US with millions of Illegals?? #2263787
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    I’ll paraphrase the Victor Davis Hanson article:
    1) Mexico and Central America
    Mexico would have to resign itself to far fewer remittances ($35 billion per year to Mexico, another $30 billion to other Central American countries), potentially greater social unrest (Their social services are not equitable, fair or generous versus the U.S. where the illegal immigrants get subsidized housing, medical care, food, education, etc – paid for by U.S. taxpayers. Ending illegal immigration could cause a revolution in Mexico. ), landmark social reform at home (Mexico has no constitution and discriminates against indigenous people) , and less traction with the American government.
    2) Business
    Expect employers to resent bitterly true immigration reform that would halt the influx of cheap labor. In every “grand bargain,” there will be a Republican shilling for big business. Meat packing plants, Agriculture, Hospitality, landscaping all want cheap labor.
    3) The elite
    In the elite mind, there is no contradiction between hiring Roberto to build a redwood fence in the backyard, and ensuring that one’s own kids go to private schools to avoid joining Roberto’s kids in the neighborhood school .
    4) La Raza.
    Does any other identity group adopt the nomenclature “The Race”?
    With the end of illegal immigration, in a generation or two the very word La Raza or Chicano would disappear from the American parlance, buried under the juggernaut of assimilation, intermarriage, and integration. The presence of 11 million illegal aliens — largely from the poorer provinces of Mexico, the majority non-English-speaking and without high-school educations — warps all civic statistics about the upward mobility of Latinos. Only the influx of millions of illegal aliens replenishes the unassimilated ethnic pool and thereby ensures through the ensuing disparities that the Latino caucus, the Chicano Studies Department, and the accented name of the evening newsreader do not go the way of Italian-, Armenian-, or Greek-American assimilation.
    5) The Democratic party. California, Nevada, Colorado, and New Mexico have flipped from red to blue. 550 cities in the U.S. are immune from federal immigration law (aka sanctuary cities). The Democrats have resurrected the Confederate idea of nullification whereby a local jurisdiction can nullify a federal law.
    ——————–

    My opinion is that
    To stop the illegal immigration over the long term, it would be necessary to change election laws at the federal level and disallow any questionable ballots. The federal government would also need to grant itself the ability to investigate and enforce those laws. It would cost billions to standardize election ballots and make them auditable, but illegal immigration is costing tens of billions. The opportunity to do this existed in 2017-8 when Republicans controlled both houses of Congress and the Presidency, but they failed to tighten election laws at that time. Studies have shown that stricter ID laws disproportionately disenfranchise minority voters. Some believe that this disproportionate burden is indicative of racist sentiments, and absentee voting can facilitate more equitable civic engagement. I believe that as long as the law is applied equally to everyone, it is not racist. “More equitable civic engagement” is just an excuse to enable fraud on the part of minority voters and to allow the Democratic party to turn states from red to blue. Donald Trump has charged that absentee voting is rife with fraud, but when he could have changed it in 2017-18, he did nothing. COVID-19 caused a huge increase in mail-in ballots in the 2020 elections. The RNC has brought lawsuits in Mississippi and North Dakota about absentee ballots, so we’ll see where that goes.

    in reply to: Who gains by flooding the US with millions of Illegals?? #2263037
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    To the OP, BaalHabooze: Look over here:

    https://www.nationalreview .com/2013/05/illegal-immigration-who-benefits-victor-davis-hanson/”

    TRUEBT
    Participant

    Congratulations on trying to grow!
    1) So you want to know where to start. Next Monday, Dec. 18 at 1:30 P.M. Frida Tarrab is giving a free beginner’s Hebrew class at the Sephardi c Community Center, 1901 Ocean Parkway. 718-627-4300.
    Why do you start with Hebrew? Because the prayers are recited in Hebrew. The Chumash is in Hebrew. Halacha sefarim are in Hebrew. That holds true regardless of which flavor of Orthodox you decide to become.
    2) Start going to daven somewhere on Shabbos morning. (You will need to daven in English.) Why Shabbos morning? Because usually there is a kiddush where you can meet other people. Besides that, look around and say, “would I want to bring my kids here to daven?” If the answer is no, then daven somewhere else the next week. If you don’t know that much about Judaism, then it is impossible to know whether any individual is or is not Mashiach. Ask an easier question. Are there any 5th – 8th grade boys here? (The sons of the Rabbi don’t count.) If not, where are they? You want to eventually expand your observance of Shabbos until you are keeping 100% of Shabbos.

    3) So you want to raise your kids with Jewish values. That’s great. What does the expression “Jewish values” mean to you? Rabbi David Gottleib lectures in Ohr Sameach and his lectures are published on You Tube. He lectures in English on Jewish values. Check him out and see whether you agree or disagree with him. It’s a lot cheaper and easier than going to Jerusalem for a year.
    When you are ready to get married, going to Ohr Sameach for a year might be a good way to finish the process of becoming frum. It will also enable you to get dates with women who share your values (via a Shadchan). IMHO, you should wait until you get married to pick which flavor of Orthodox you are going to go with. Why? If you decide that you are only going to date Syrian Ba’alot Tshuva, you might never get married. Find someone who shares your values, so that it is easier to make decisions like where to send your kids to school, etc.
    If there are girls who went to your high school that are doing Tshuva, you owe it to yourself to check them out. You will probably have a lot more in common with them, then you do with most Syrian girls. Think about it. A girl who went to your high school and decided to do Tshuva is on the same life trajectory as you.
    It’s a long road from where you are to where you want to be. By deciding not to decide right now, it allows you to go check out different options for a while without committing to anything permanently. Good Luck!

    in reply to: Forgotten Halachah MB 167 #2209262
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    How can we be zocheh to Binyan Beth HaMikdash when you can’t be bothered to be Dan LeKaf Zechus?

    “… if a Kohen who ate bread is sitting among them” What happens when the person who leads the zimun isn’t sure or isn’t paying attention? Perhaps to insist on this Kavod, a Cohen needs to have his Yichus certified by a Bais Din?

    Besides that, look at Sha’ar Hatziune 65 where he says that there are situations where the person who leads the zimun does not need to ask permission from the Cohen. The point of this halacha is to be careful to avoid hurting anyone’s feelings when you take Kavod. Insisting on Kavod for the Cohen is exactly the opposite of what is intended.

    Sinas Chinam is what destroyed it. Ahavas Chinam is what will rebuild it. The cohanim have their job, but the Levi’im have their job and the Yisroelim have their job. We would all need to work together to make it happen.

    in reply to: Quick Quote about Older Singles from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin #2164229
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    If what Huju wrote was totally false, it would have been Motzei Shaim Ra. I am calling it Lashon Hara because we are obligated to give the benefit of the doubt to the older singles. Failure to give the benefit of the doubt is clearly true about Huju’s comment. Besides, it causes other people to get angry. The fact that Huju decided to post again and probably make UJM even angrier just proves (to me) that Huju’s first post was also Lashon Hara and should never have gotten past the Mods.
    Why stop at Toeva? What if they are addicts? What if they gamble away their money? If you are going to fail to give the benefit of the doubt, then there is lots more to worry about besides Toeva.
    If you look at the OP, it said, “It is amazing how off-track many people are when they speak to me.” Huju’s post is a classic example of this.
    Just for the MODS who apparently disagree that what Huju wrote constitutes Lashon Hara, here is Hilchos Esurei Lashon Hara, Klal Aleph, Halacha Gimmel: “All of these laws are relevant even if the speaker’s remarks were made in casual passing. But heaven forbid, if this person constantly talks about other people, like those people who routinely sit together, and talk about so-and-so’s doings, or I heard “xyz about so and so… And “Xyz” has a disparaging aspect, Chazal identify these people as Ba’alei Lashon Hara and their punishment is exceedingly more horrible than a casual speaker of Lashon Hara because these habitual speakers of Lashon Hara are contemptously and maliciously violating Hashem’s commandments. They have rationalized what they are doing and now see it as being perfectly normal and permissible as I explained at the end of the Introduction (in the third curse).”

    Completely left out of the discussion of the Shidduch Crisis is the possibility that Lashon Hara is the source of the problem. Why? Because it destroys trust. And trust is a necessary foundation for marriage.
    The advice I have for singles is to ignore the Huju’s of the world Show up to the first date assuming that the person you are dating is 100% Kosher and trustworthy. Then let them prove the assumption correct or incorrect.

    in reply to: Quick Quote about Older Singles from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin #2163851
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    TO THE MODS:
    Please remove huju’s comment and UJM’s response. They are both Lashon Hara. As you say in the rules for the CR:
    “2 – Loshon Hara will not be tolerated at all. We are not and will not become Lashon Hara central (keep this in mind when starting a thread).”

    in reply to: Yeshivos for Adult Beginning Learners #2106863
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    Learning to learn is not like learning a secular subject. Learning to learn should mean that you are trying to improve your connection to Hashem via davening, learning and mitzvah observance. Some of that involves teich and kriah, but some of that comes from experiencing Shabbos, learning, and davening with the attitude that I will do whatever Hashem wants me to do, and then seeing what feelings that creates in you.
    For instance, in last week’s Parsha, an angel asks Bilaam why he hit his donkey 3 times. Really? What’s wrong with hitting a disobedient donkey? Isn’t that the proper and correct way to make the donkey do what you want? Should the donkey be allowed to go wherever it feels likes? How was Bilaam supposed to know that there was an angel blocking the donkey’s way?
    The answer is that Bilaam got angry at the donkey. He wanted to kill the donkey, but he did not have a sword with him. The angel was criticizing Bilaam for hitting the donkey in ANGER.
    When things don’t go our way, often we get ANGRY. We’re not supposed to do that. We are supposed to realize that Hashem runs the world. If Hashem is preventing someone from getting what they want (marriage, wealth, etc.), it is probably for their own good. We should look inside, figure out why it’s really better not to have this right now (from Hashem’s perspective) and then work on changing our goals and/or our middos to align with Hashem’s.

    You can’t learn how to do that by sitting in a class. The first step is to get a grasp of the Hebrew language. Chumash with Rashi is in Hebrew. The Mishna Brura is in Hebrew. Davening is in Hebrew. There are translations, but to the extent it is possible, you want to learn and daven in Hebrew and then read the translation. This is learned from the halachos of davening. Theoretically, you can daven in a foreign language, but it is preferable to daven in Hebrew.

    I suggest you go to all of the places suggested above, walk in and try a class. See what it feels like. But the ultimate goal is an immersive experience. Perhaps six weeks in the summer if you have summer vacation. It’s the immersive experience that enables you to change your goals and Middos. That process is what will bring you closer to Hashem.

    in reply to: Gun Control #2104043
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    Ubiquitin makes an excellent point by comparing guns to cars.

    Instead if banning guns outright, the solution could be to require casualty insurance for anyone who wants to own a gun. The insurance company will have underwriters who evaluate the risk. Depending on the risk level, the underwriter can rate them up or reject them. If the prospective gun owner is rejected, they can try to find a different insurance company who is willing to assume the risk. It would be similar to casualty insurance for cars: X amount per victim, Y amount per incident. Each state would decide what levels of insurance are necessary – just as they do with car insurance.

    in reply to: looking for an apartment to rent in israel #2100093
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    You can look over here for RBS Gimmel and Daled:
    en+rentbetshemesh+com

    in reply to: Support for a Chasidish Baal Teshuva? #2099131
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    If you are in Beis Yisroel, then you are easy walking distance from Ohr Sameach. It’s located at 22 Simon Hatzadik. I would recommend you just go there to daven Ma’ariv, and see what happens. It can’t hurt and it might help.

    Before you go there, look at www dot ohr dot edu/study-in-israel/
    You will see that Ohr Sameach has three parts. One is as for secular Jews. The second is called intermediate and the third is advanced. I’m not sure you fit in any of those, but it can’t hurt to ask.

    Even if you don’t fit in there, the rebbeim at Ohr Sameach can probably direct you to a yeshiva where you will have a better chance of success.

    Here is a completely different way to approach the problem. It might be easier to go to a Shadchan and ask what you need to do to get a good Shidduch. That will give you a goal – which will give you motivation. Are you interested in a girl from N’vei Yerushalayim? If not, so what are your realistic possibilites for Shidduchim? Where would you need to be in a year in order to be ready to get married?

    Congratulations on your desire to do tshuva and may Hashem help you accomplish it.

    in reply to: Bashert #2094471
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    Sorry, I have never Toiveled at night, and I’m not going to start now.

    in reply to: Bashert #2094448
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    OK. I’ll take the bait.
    I’m a Shomer Torah U’mitvos man, and I’m looking for my bashert. Now what?

    TRUEBT
    Participant

    link removed

    There are those who believe that “Amalek” belongs to our distant past, and that the commandment to obliterate Amalek similarly belongs to history. Rav Joseph Dov Soloveitchik, the preeminent Jewish philosopher of the last generation, disagrees. He proves that, according to Maimonides, Amalek exists in our day and the commandment to obliterate Amalek exists as well. How so? Regarding the commandment to destroy the seven nations who resided in Canaan at the time of Joshua’s conquest, Maimonides notes20: “And their memories have passed from being.” This phrase was omitted by Maimonides when citing the law regarding the obliteration of Amalek.21 Rav Soloveitchik writes22:

    From his words, it seems that Amalek still exists in the world while the seven nations have been doomed to oblivion. Scripture testifies that Amalek is still in existence. Note what the Torah states: “The Lord will have war with Amalek from generation to generation”, it is therefore impossible that Amalek be completely destroyed before the coming of the Messiah. As the Sages state: “The [divine] throne will not be whole and the [divine] Name will not be whole until the descendants of Amalek are completely obliterated.” But – where is he? I once heard the answer from my father and master, of blessed memory, namely that any nation that conspires to destroy Knesset Israel becomes, according to the halacha, Amalek.

    A similar idea was articulated by Rav Elchanan Wasserman, one of the outstanding Yeshiva heads in Europe before the war(23):

    And it is written, “The Lord will have war with Amalek from generation to generation” and the Torah attested to the fact that this war will continue in all the generations until the coming of the Messiah.

    And Rav Soloveitchik continued:

    The proclamation, “the Lord will have war with Amalek from generation to generation”, does not only translate into the communal exercise of waging obligatory war against a specific race, but includes as well the obligation to rise up as a community against any people or group that, filled with maniacal hatred, directs its enmity against Knesset Israel. When a people emblazons on its banner, “Come and let us cut them off from being a nation, that the name of Israel may no longer be in remembrance”, it becomes, thereby, Amalek.

    This was written regarding the threats of the then ruler of Egypt, Gamal Abdel-Nasser, to destroy Israel. The threat to destroy Israel is emblazoned today, especially on the banners of the Arab terrorist organizations, who serve as the vanguard for those plotting to liquidate us through their well-known step-by-step stratagem. In the constitution of the Fatah, of which Yasser Arafat is the supreme leader (alongside his other positions as Chairman of the PLO and Chairman of the Palestinian Authority), it is written black on white that the armed struggle to liberate Palestine in its entirety (to the sea) will not end until the absolute liquidation of the Zionist state and the liberation of Palestine in its entirety (paragraph 19). This constitution which Arafat saw fit to publicize on the Fatah website in 1998 also stipulates that there is no place for any diplomatic solution as an alternative to the termination of the Zionist occupation of Palestine (paragraph 22). There is, therefore, no doubt, that the Arab terrorist organizations – of which the Fatah is its backbone – which emblazoned on their banner the goal of destroying Israel, are this generation’s Amalek, against whom war must be waged to completely eradicate them. “

    in reply to: American kollelim in Northern Israel #2062304
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    Best wishes on your upcoming marriage.

    For the first two, you will need to go there, find a shul and ask.
    Try the Givat HaMoreh neighborhood in Afula.
    Try the Har Yona Gimmel neighborhood in Nof Hagalil (AKA Natzeret Illit).
    Try Michael Ginker, director of demographic development in Karmiel, 972-54-662-6874.

    Here’s a bit of personal advice. If you aren’t comfortable learning with Israelis, you need to insist that your wife speak English to you. IMHO, There is is actually a pasuk in the Megillah that states the wife needs to speak the language of the husband. This is because women are much better at communicating than men. Insisting that she speak English will even the playing field (somewhat).

    in reply to: Is it time to leave America #2058808
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    Packing our bags? No. Making a passport, Yes.
    Moving to E”Y is definitely be one way to do Tshuva on assimilating with Goyische culture in America. There are other ways to do Tshuva.
    Sanhedrin 104a: “The Rabbis comment on the verse “How she dwelled alone.” (Lamentations 1:1).
    Rabbah, in the name of Rabbi Yochanan says, “I (=Hashem) said, ‘Israel – dwell separate and secure, the eye of Jacob.’ (Deut. 33:28). Now, they will be separated and alone. It is Hashem’s will that we be separate and alone by willingly separating ourselves from the nations of the world. If we had done so, we would have dwelt securely. Now that we have failed to do so willingly, we will be separated from the nations of the world against our will. ”

    in reply to: who started kiruv? #2014828
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    Unless you define what you mean by “kiruv”, you will get many different answers depending on how the person answering defines “kiruv”. Several hundred years ago, it was common for Jews to be restricted legally as to where they could live, what professions they could engage in and who they could marry. There was no social welfare from the state. If you needed medical or financial assistance, you were most likely to find it being given by other Jews in your community. The ability to freely choose a lifestyle was not common until after the “enlightenment” in Europe.

    After WWII, the work week changed from six days to five which made it easier to keep Shabbos.

    The creation of the state of Israel and the six day war were electrifying events. These were viewed by many who witnessed them (even Gentiles) as the fulfillment of the Biblical prophecy that Hashem will return the Jews to the land of Israel at the end of time. If the Bible made a prediction about the future that came true despite the fact that it was against all odds, that was clearly a wake-up call from Hashem that the Torah is true. So my answer is that Hashem started the kiruv movement. The Bible says that Hashem will circumcise our hearts. Why not simply say Hakol Mishamayim?

    in reply to: Mysterious Gemstones? #2004804
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    Hi rightwriter! Perhaps a few true stories will give you the proper perspective on this.
    1) When I was in Ohr Sameach, they warned us not to learn Kabbalah. They said it is silly to work on Nistar before you finish Nigle. (Nigle means all of Shas both Bavli and Yerushalmi along with all 4 chalakim of Shulchan Orech and understanding all of the main poskim = Shach, Taz, etc.) Of course, some individuals decided to ignore that Psak. The results were disaster. Some of them went to Breslov and got involved with the whole mess that occurred there.
    What’s that got to do with gemstones? Good question. The reason why we avoid Kabbalah is because (as the song says), “When you believe in things you don’t understand, it’s superstition.” Superstition can easily become Avoda Zara.
    The big problem with something that is similar to Avoda Zara (like Yoga) is that ORTHODOX Jews have not violated the prohibition of Avoda Zara for thousands of years. Therefore, we don’t have a clear definition of what is or is not Avoda Zara. For instance, is a Sun Salutation Avoda Zara? After all, the original meaning of the movement was part of a Hindu worship that involved saluting the god of the sun. I asked this question to multiple rabbis. They all told me they don’t know. There is no gemorra that discusses Sun salutes. Why not? Because when the gemarra was written ORTHODOX Jews would never do something like that. The Shayla never came up. Similarly with gemstones (or crystals). Are they being used to cast spells? Invoke Occult powers? Would they be considered witchcraft? Magic? Any of the above is punishable with death according to the Torah. We don’t know. If you ask a Mekubal, they will tell you that most likely all of these “good luck charms” are worthless. The only thing that usually results from them is that the person using them violates some very serious Torah prohibitions.
    Therefore, we stick to halachah. Unless you can find an HALACHIC source for doing something or not doing something, you can safely ignore it.
    2) In the course of my travels, I met a Ba’al Tshuva whose mother owned a gemstone store. He told me that it is all sales hype. I suggest you stop trying to understand it beyond that.
    3) Here’s a story about how not knowing what you are doing when it comes to Nistar can have tragic consequences. This story is from Shmuel Auerbach (the son of Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach). He said that at one time there was an amulet (kameiah) in Yerushalayim. This Kamaiah was allowed to be carried in a Reshus Harabim on Shabbos because a psak halacha had been given that it was known to be effective in curing people. Apparently it had been written by the Taz. It was once given to a Sofer to help him with an illness. This sofer assumed that the Kamaiah had some type of shaimos of angels or of Hashem written in it. The rule with a Kamaiah is that once someone opens it and looks inside, it stops working. He felt that this didn’t matter since he could just copy whatever shaimos were written there and make a new one. He opened it. It said, “in the zechus of the X times that I learned this Tosafos in Chulin which enabled me to get the correct psak, may the person who wears this Kameaih be healed.” Needless to say, the sofer could not duplicate that and the kamaiah stopped working. Think of all the people who could have been healed with that Kamaiah? One person decided that they were smarter than everyone else and ruined it. Similarly with gemstones, I would guess that there are lots of little details that can make things go very wrong.

    For instance, wearing a ruby during pregnancy to prevent miscarriage. Great idea because it is mentioned in halacha. Or maybe if you don’t have this mesorah, it’s considered like New Age Avoda Zara? Highly unlikely you will find a Rabbi willing to pasken this shayla. Is it possible that a Sefardia whose mother wore a ruby while pregnant receives schar for doing a mitzvah while a BT who was influenced by New Age wearing a ruby receives the death penalty? Could it be that the same action results in a radical difference in the Din that depends on your Kavannah? A scary thought as we approach the Yom HaDin! Best advice is don’t mess around with the metaphysical side of Judaism if you don’t have the mesorah.

    Tamim Tiyeh Im Hashem Elokecha!
    Kesiva V’chasima Tova.

    in reply to: The last Jew in Afghanistan #2000506
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    According to Arutz7,
    “Simantov’s current whereabouts are unknown , with concern for his fate being expressed on social media.”

    in reply to: shiduchim #1987230
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    Making personal contact with a poster would mean asking the moderators to give your e-mail address to another poster.

    The question about strict vs. not strict depends on your daughter. What does she want?
    For instance, a Yiddish speaking Bachur from BMG. Very strict, but Litvische. Would she be willing to go on 6-8 dates before the engagement if she is Super Chassidische? Probably not.
    Would she be willing to move to Lakewood? Probably not. So, you can see that strict vs. not strict is not enough information. On the other hand, it sounds like she is financially independent, so she is already different than most Chassidische girls.

    in reply to: Its impossible to make a living in Israel #1983455
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    To Commonsaychel:
    If you watch the original poster’s video, one of the points it makes is that IF you can get a job in the U.S. that is 99% remote, then you could live in Israel. The video says that there are men who learn in the morning and then start work after Mincha at 6 A.M. Eastern Standard Time.
    So how about this? Try to find a job that is 99% remote. (You have to come back once in a while to visit family, don’t you?) Even if you don’t find a job, you will have succeeded. Why? Because maybe it is impossible – for you. But maybe your kids can find a way to move to E”Y. If you brainwash them into “it’s impossible”, they might never try.

    The point of the story of the Meraglim is that because they said “we will never succeed al pi Derech Hateva”, so Hashem decided to make it impossible – for the Meraglim. That was their punishment for saying something that was 100% true – but demoralizing. Perhaps the reason you are not being allowed to move there is because you discourage other Jews from trying.

    If you don’t even want to look for a 99% remote job at least tell your kids, “As soon as I make my first million, I’m moving to Israel.” If it never happens, so you’ll never move to Israel. But don’t discourage other Jews from trying to move to E”Y.

    in reply to: ben shapiro #1976939
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    Unfortunately, this thread demonstrates the problem with political conversations. It generates Sinas Chinam and Lashon Hara. Ben Shapiro does make an effort to stick to the facts, but ultimately he gets dragged into the mud of improper speech with all the rest of the political commentators. If I were him, I would continue developing Daily Wire until after the 2024 elections and then sell it. I would switch to a profession that requires me to give my fellow man the benefit of the doubt as an act of tshuva.

    in reply to: setting up kiddush during mussuf #1975826
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    Walking out after Kedushah for a davar mitzvah would seem to be mutar. That is why we do it for Birkas Cohanim.

    in reply to: Are we too welcomimg #1968890
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    You are confusing two completely different subjects. If you are talking about inviting someone for a Shabbos meal as being the meaning of “welcoming”, then no we are not too welcoming. It is O.K. to invite someone to a Shabbos meal even if they turn out to be a goy.

    If you are talking about accepting someone as a Sofer Stam, the halacha is quite clear that you should only be buying from someone reputable and should not be looking for a bargain when purchasing tashmishei kedusha. In general, there is a weakness in the entire system of checking out people who write Sifrei Torah and Mezuzos. Yes, we should learn a lesson and require background checks that are published online for every Sofer, and we should require that the name of the Sofer as well as the date written should be information that is included with every pair of Tefillin and every Mezuzah. Otherwise, when something like this happens, the people who were tricked into buying pasul tashmishei kedusha may never even know that they are using pasul mezuzos and tefillin. Theoretically, we should be able to issue a “recall” of all the tashmishei kedusha a Sofer has ever written.

    If the Hachnasas Orchim could be more organized, that would make it easier to spot fakers early. What if there was a registry for individuals interested in being Shabbos guests? The first time they wanted to be a guest, they could be invited to the house of a Kiruv Rabbi who checks them out. After that, they might be invited back and they might not. Usually Kiruv Rebbeim can figure out who is problematic and who is not. It might take more than one Shabbos meal, but eventually they will figure it out.

    in reply to: Here we go again! #1960492
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    The system does not need to be changed. All of this can be fixed very simply.

    1) Give the President of Israel the right to pardon himself for anything he has ever done before becoming President of Israel.
    2) Make Bibi the President of Israel.

    Hashem Malach, Hashem Melech, Hashem Yimloch L’olam Va’ed.

    in reply to: Rav Tzvi Kaplan Yeshiva #1947449
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    There is almost always food available for Shabbos meals. Shabbos is almost always “in” since there is Seder on Shabbos afternoon. However, if he has friends or relatives that live within walking distance, he could go to them for a meal.

    The best way to describe the knapsack restriction is that there is a dress code in Rav Tzvi Kaplan’s yeshiva. Talk to anyone who attended any of the Brisk Yeshivas, and they can describe the dress code completely. It is unfortunate that “very hard on his boys” got associated with “no knapsacks” in this thread. Girls have a dress code, why shouldn’t boys?

    A better way of describing “very hard on his boys” would be no cell phones in the Bais Medrash. That basically means you will not be able to call him. He will need to call you because his phone will be in his apartment – not in his pocket.

    There are rumors that admittance into Israel will be restricted to those who have been vaccinated, so you might want to think about finding a place for him to learn until he gets vaccinated. These rumors are based on the agreement Israel made with Greece that required vaccination.

    B’Hatzlacha!

    in reply to: Two Frum Community Problems Solved with One Approach #1944426
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    GREAT IDEA! Here’s why it won’t work. From “The River, The Kettle and The Bird”, p. 18-19.

    Why, in Fact, do Men Marry?
    Despite the “manufacturers instructions” for marriage, what qualities do men seek in a marriage partner? Too often, they are as follows:
    Quality No. 1: Physical Attractiveness….
    Quality No. 2: The impression she makes…What will others think of her?
    Quality No .3: Assets..What is there in it for me in terms of family and money?
    In short, marriage is conceived of as a vehicle for appetite fulfillment and ego enhancement. In the terms of the Mishna, marriage is used by man as a means for satisfying the drives for kin’ah, taavah and Kovod… the three ways by which the yetzer hora expresses itself into man’s life. The Sages consider these the smoothest paths to disaster: Jealousy, lust and glory take man out of the world.

    in reply to: Techeiles and Bal Tosif #1934989
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    From Mobico:
    “it is very difficult to have a dispassionate discussion with knowledgeable people on the subject.”

    That by itself is a good reason to follow the Rema and only wear white tzitzis. The number of Aveiros one can get involved in by arguing unnecessarily are many and are D’oreisa. We are in Galus because of Sinas Chinam – not because of Techeiles. I fear that the individuals who wear techeiles might be considered Ba’alei Machlokes in Shamayim – even if they do it B’tzina.

    in reply to: Techeiles and Bal Tosif #1934870
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    Siman 9, Seif 5:
    There are some who maintain that tzitzis must be the same color as the talis, and those who are particular follow this practice.
    Note: Ashkenazim use white tzitzis even on colored garments, and one should not deviate from this practice.
    Mishna Brura 16: It is appropriate for one to make their tallis koton white, so that they will fulfill the mitzvah according to all opinions.

    in reply to: kosher shavers #1930259
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    Thank you to the moderator for taking the time to edit my post instead of deleting it which would have been quicker and easier for the moderator.

    in reply to: kosher shavers #1930213
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    From over here:
    Sorry, we don’t allow external links

    The classic answers are
    1) the Phillips Norelco 6948XL which has been renamed Shaver 2100.
    It does not have “lift and cut” technology. It sells for $200 on Amazon.

    2) The Phillips Norelco Corded Electric Shaver 1100 also known as S1150/81.
    Same as 1, but as the name implies if you are more than a few feet away from an electrical outlet, you will not be able to shave. It sells for $30 on Amazon.

    Since Corona Virus has us all cutting our own hair, you can ask about:

    Panasonic ER GB80-S for $50,

    Star-K has a complete discussion of the halacha over here:
    Sorry again

    This has been in the CR before. Look over here:
    https://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/kosher-electric-shavers”

    Edited

    in reply to: Shidduch Crisis ONGOING #1917562
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    “Maybe all the single girls should make a mass aliyah to Israel where the boys start dating at 19 or 20.”

    Considering that the girls go there for Seminary, it might not be a bad idea.

    Unfortunately, the boys in Israel are (mostly) Israelis who speak Hebrew. You are signing up for communication problems unless you speak Hebrew a lot better than the average girl. And the culture shock from suddenly being part of an Israeli family won’t be easy to deal with either.

    And yes, I am including the out-of-town Boys who are in Lakewood when I say there are more older boys than older girls in Lakewood.

    IMHO, Chaim Shulem has the right idea. The key phrase is “there was no money from the in-laws.” So where did they get the money to pay the rent? Probably from the girl’s job. She probably married him on the condition that he learn a profession and get a job. Between the two of them, they are able to pay the bills.

    And that is my advice to you, opionated-2. If you can pay the bills based on your employment, you will probably be able to find someone “normal” who wants to marry you.

    Of course, if you really want to make Aliyah, don’t let me stop you.

    in reply to: Shidduch Crisis ONGOING #1917135
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    Here’s a perspective you should consider.

    The shididuch crisis does not exist for girls that live with their family in Lakewood. I have heard that the number of older unmarried girls is less than the number of older unmarried bochurim in Lakewood.

    Most boys in the U.S. wait until 23 or 24 because they are not mature enough to deal with marriage until then. If they didn’t wait, then instead of a shidduch crisis, we would have a divorce crisis.

    in reply to: Do I have to shave my beard? #1909810
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    Many Orthodox Jewish doctors (= wear yarmulkes at work) do not have beards. Trying to present different customs within the context of Orthodox Judaism to a goy never worked for me. Maybe it will work for you. Even if you get away with it, they will be looking for reasons to get rid of you. You will be considered one of the Orthodox Jews who don’t follow Corona virus regulations.

    Instead, I would recommend that you buy a cheap electric razor. You won’t have a beard, but you will look unshaven. (They are cheap because they don’t work that well.) The N95 will fit just fine, so the cheap electric razor is the best compromise. When you go to the Rav, ask him which electric razor he recommends.

    in reply to: Seminary Recommendations ( for a beginner) #1908427
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    I agree with the other posters. You are wasting your time applying to seminaries. They won’t accept you. What you need is a conversion program.

    Here is a URL to try: To get it past the mods, I changed http://www.itim to www+itim. Change it back.
    https://www+itim.org.il/en/itim-guide-to-converting-to-judaism-in-israel/

    You will be considered a foreign citizen attempting to convert to Judaism which means there will be a bunch of hoops to jump through. The five stages are listed over here:
    https://en+ami4u.org/conversion-tracks/conversion-for-non-citizens
    (Similar to URL above, I changed en.ami to en+ami to get the URL past the mods.)

    If you succeed in converting, then your conversion teachers will help you find the right seminary.
    The whole process usually takes around 2 years. It will be longer with Covid-19 restrictions.

    Good Luck!

    in reply to: Tzitzis on Shabbos #1897923
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    Entanglement is what often occurs after you wash tzitzis. Other than that, it would be unusual for them to become entangled.

    in reply to: Plan to Move to EY #1895635
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    You are all wrong.

    A Jew who has the resources (money and health), will have a chiyuv to move to EY after the pandemic is over.
    We can debate whether that chiyuv as D’rabbannan or D’Oreisa. We can debate who has a heter to stay here for parnassah or learning or Kibud Av V’im (or whatever your local Orthodox Rabbi poskens). But the idea that this depends on who wins the elections is just plain wrong. It only depends on the halacha.

    It is increasing difficult for Jews to assimilate with the goyim. Goyim pushing Jews away when we assimilate is part of the Teva of the world according to Yechezkel 20:32-34. If that is correct, then It will continue to become more difficult to assimilate regardless of who gets elected – unless we stop trying to assimilate.

    in reply to: Jewish Genealogy #1892636
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    While it is possible to hire a professional genealogist, first do as much as you can on your own.

    First of all, get a large piece of paper (or cut open the sides of a paper bag). Then write down everything you know about your father’s side on one piece of paper and then your mother’s side on the back – or on another piece of paper.

    Now try to interview anybody in the family older than you – especially previous generations. As you talk to them, you are going to write on the piece of paper. So why do you need a piece of paper instead of the internet or a computer? Very simple. As you are talking to them, they will tell you interesting stories, or maybe the name of the city where your family came from or the phone number of a relative you might want to talk to or something else unexpected and you can write that in the margins. Computers don’t let you write in the margins. Ask them for addresses and phone numbers of other relatives.

    The next thing to do is a DNA test. Spitting in that test tube might help you find some more relatives.

    It is entirely possible that somebody else in the extended family may have made a family tree that includes you

    Once you have done as much as you can on your own, then you can try the internet or hire someone to do that for you. And while the pro’s can go pretty far back, the question is what are you trying to accomplish by knowing your ancestors names? You will learn far more about things that matter by interviewing relatives.

    in reply to: Returning to Lakewood Elul Z’man – Covid update #1892005
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    Dear Nomesorah,

    Thanks for the info. Hopefully, the OP will check the food situation since apparently it has changed since March.

    in reply to: Returning to Lakewood Elul Z’man – Covid update #1891598
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    The question to ask the Honhola of BMG is: “where are my sons going to eat? ”
    Try that, and see what they say.

    in reply to: Living in Eretz Yisroel #1875344
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    Yes, it is an old halachic discussion. The halacha was codified in a Sefer called Pe’at Hashulchan. (pronounced Pa’as Hashulchan by Ashkenazim.) No one should be paskining against this sefer unless they paskin like Satmar in everything else. As others have pointed out, nowadays, it’s either a mitzva D’oreisa or a mitzva D’rabannan according to nearly all poskim. As BeUrBest pointed out, there are reasons that prevent us from doing mitzvos which means we are patur – until those reasons aren’t there anymore. I am going to disagree with BY1212. For anyone to pass judgement and say that this group of Shomer Shabbos Jews are hopeless or that group of Shomer Shabbos Jews deserves to be punished is Lashon Hara.
    I would recommend that we start getting our passports up to date. Hishtadlus is always a good idea.

    in reply to: Making aliyah #1875251
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    There are several neighborhoods in Ramat Beit Shemesh.
    Here is a website where you can see what the prices are for most of the neighborhoods.
    I changed the periods to + signs to get this past the mods who don’t allow hot links.
    You will need to change them back to periods and then paste that into your browser.
    http://en+rentbetshemesh+com/

    And while it’s true rentals would be cheaper in a place where everyone speaks Hebrew, it could be very lonely and frustrating if you don’t have anyone to talk to in your native language. If you are moving there, you will need doctors that speak English, a Rabbi that speaks English, etc.

    Once you get an idea of what you can afford, you can write to:
    Yisrael Sabijan Aliyah Engagement Manager
    [email protected]

    There is a lot more to making Aliyah then just renting an apartment. NBN will help you prepare.
    Selecting a real estate agent is just one of the things they will help you with.
    Like anything else, preparing in advance will increase the chances of success.
    Good Luck!

    in reply to: End of Western Civilization #1872565
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    None of us can predict the future. Here is a way to tell if Ben Shapiro really believes what he is saying is true.

    If Biden is elected President and the Senate has a Democratic majority after the November elections, then there would be nothing to stop the left from beginning the “cultural revolution”. If Ben Shapiro believes what he says, he will sell his house in anticipation of the creation of a police-free zone in his neighborhood similar to “CHAZ”. He will do this while Trump is a lame duck since that would be his last chance to get out before the revolution. If he doesn’t sell his house (and move to a rented residence), then that means he doesn’t believe what he is saying is true. And neither should you.

    If Shapiro is correct, then if the Democrats win a majority in November, the Democratic Party will begin destroying the U.S. relationship with Israel. However that should not stop you from moving there. At this point, Israel is a net exporter of energy. It also has some advanced anti-missile, anti-drone technology that has changed the balance of power in Israel’s favor in case of a war with Lebanon/Syria/Iran/Hezbollah etc. Israel enjoys good relations with both Russia and China. Now that Israel has clear air superiority with the F-35I, Russia and China will look for ways to help Israel to be a stabilizing factor in the Middle East. (Russia and China want stability to allow them to use third world countries as the modern equivalent of colonies. Look at the article in the June 15 YWN stating that RUSSIA was going to veto Obama’s lame duck UN resolution. ) Moving to Israel won’t be fun, but it is far better than living in a place where the police don’t firewall areas that the Moslems have set up as “police-free” zones under Sharia law or street-gang controlled zones like CHAZ. (Gaza is a sharia “police-free” zone, but it is walled off from where you would be living.) When DeBlasio says he is going to de fund the police, he means the creation of police-free zones. Police in Seattle and Portland are already being told not to “incite the mob.” De Blasio tried it out in NYC for one night by allowing the looters to destroy property with no police intervention, and apparently he likes the results. The main difference between Israel and the U.S. is that Israeli politicians can and will use the police and military to stop rioting and looting, whereas the Democrats who control the police and national guard where we live are no longer willing to do that. That’s what should scare us.

    Ben Shapiro’s job is to sell advertising time for his show. He does it well. If there is a cultural revolution, then he would definitely be on the hit list. He would be well aware of this fact, and it would be logical for him to move to Israel for his personal safety. However, for him to give up his lifestyle and fame by moving to a foreign country is pretty much unthinkable, so even if he doesn’t move to Israel, don’t let that stop you.

    And don’t forget to learn this week’s Parsha. Don’t make the mistake of the Meraglim and say it’s too difficult. Make Hishtadlus. Daven for Siyata D’shmaya. Look for ways to move forward. Do you have a passport? Do you know which city in Israel you would like to move to? Which neighborhood? What are the prices of apartments there? Can you afford it? No? Look for somewhere else. Keep making Hishtadlus. So often in life, we get a short window of opportunity to do a mitzvah, but we haven’t prepared, so we miss out. Missing out on an opportunity to move to Israel (or some other mitzvah) is what should make you nervous – not Ben Shapiro’s rant.

    B’Hatzlacha!

    in reply to: Co Covid19, Stop Loshon Horah and Rechilus #1847131
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    Chymee – Thanks for your comments. The punishment for Lashon Hara is in fact – social isolation, so perhaps that is what is really going on.
    Unfortunately, Shmiras Halashon is not so simple. There are times when we are REQUIRED to say something nasty. For instance, reporting a minyan to the New York police department is a mitzvah as Rabbi Hoffman poskened. In order to know what we are supposed to say, who we are supposed to say it to, and when we are supposed to say it, we need to learn the laws of Shmiras Halashon – and try to follow them.
    Sometimes when I learn those halachos, all I can do is feel bad about not being able to live up to what I’m supposed to do. The Chofetz Chaim says that just having that feeling is very valuable and is worth the effort even if you can’t actually keep the halachos. Like any habit, it takes patience and perseverance to change.
    Good Luck and Stay Healthy – physically and spiritually!

    in reply to: Smartphones #1844747
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    The Truth This Week said,
    “until you are addicted…”
    And once you are addicted, you will be looking at your phone when you should be driving your car.
    Many accidents are the result of the distraction of the phone while driving.
    So Just from a practical standpoint, it is a bad idea.
    Also, once you have a smart phone, you might be tempted to start looking at your phone when you should be davening or learning or talking to your wife, etc. That’s why it is “Hishtadlus Yeter”, and therefore Assur. The laptop is probably in a different room when you are davening or learning or talking to your wife.

    in reply to: Rabbi Akiva Eiger’s pesak regarding the cholera epidemic of 5591 #1840740
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    Just to clarify what Akuperma said, “dying in large numbers” means MILLIONS of people dying.

    Even if the doctors’ advice is wrong, it does not matter. We have an obligation to make hishtadlus. The way we are required to make hishtadlus is by listening to the best medical advice available to us.

    Rarely causes death? In Italy, they are rationing ventilators. Anyone over the age of 60 can not get a ventilator. Anyone over the age of 80 can not get medical treatment at all. Over age 80 they send you home to die. We are trying to avoid a similar situation in New York. Please be part of the solution and not part of the problem.

    in reply to: When do we close the Schools and Shuls? #1835862
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    I agree with Dayeinu who said “Elderly should avoid visitors and limit contact…”

    In particular, that could mean that elderly should not go to a hotel for Pesach.

    in reply to: Preventable Marriage Disasters #1832569
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    While “The warning signs” might be obvious to you, they can be easily misunderstood. This can lead to a shadchan labeling someone as psycho when they were just having a bad day. Rather than labeling someone based on flimsy evidence, I suggest waiting until after the third date and then paying for professional advice.
    At that point – before the engagement – there is no issur of lashon hara, so it is the ideal time to try to find out the truth.

    The three conditions that you mentioned, Asperger Syndrome, Borderline Personality Disorder and Narcissism, are not well-defined. We could sum them all up as problems creating close relationships. I think the best approach is to ask about the roommates and friends of the prospective shidduch. On the dates, it is a good idea to ask about friends and roommates as well as family members. Ask about sibling rivalry. Ask if they enjoy spending time with their father. Ask for stories from their childhood. After the third date, I suggest the couple go on a long date (meaning from the morning until night begins). It’s hard to fake being nice all day if you have one of those conditions. Then go home and ask yourself if you want your vacations to be like that long date.
    AT THAT POINT, Don’t be afraid to go to a professional marriage counselor with experience and present the evidence. Most Rabbis and Shadchanim are not professional marriage counselors. It can be very difficult to distinguish between an immature girl and a narcissistic girl. The professional should give you one technique specific to that one individual to help you test whether you should continue the shidduch or not.
    And of course, don’t forget to daven.

    in reply to: Shidduch Crisis and the Freezer Defrosting #1830818
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    Here is something more intelligent in case anyone is interested.
    Rabbi Shaya Ostrov says,
    “I know boys who are languishing…
    who don’t know how to develop a relationship.
    Guys develop the ability to create a relationship during marriage.
    >>>>>>>> It’s not a statistical issue. <<<<<<<<<<
    Both in Lakewood and the Upper West Side, there are people who have been dating for 20 years. They have not developed the skills to be married. With every passing date, their ability to get married decreases. Couples while they’re dating need an enormous amount of guidance. We need to teach young men how to develop emotionally in early years of schooling … how to understand relationships, how to understand drives. … Kalla and Chosson teachers should be teaching how to create relationships that endure for a lifetime – solid programs that have proven themselves to be helpful. We need to teach people about anxiety and panic which have a very serious effect on relationship”

    That quote is from an hour long video on the Shidduch crisis that used to be on YWN around 1.5 or 2 years ago.       link removed
    Unfortunately, YWN put Rabbi Ostrov at around an hour into the video, so I would guess that very few people heard what he had to say.

    As far as the original poster goes, instead of posting on YWN, please go spend some money on an appointment with Rabbi Ostrov, so he can explain it to you. And may you be zoche to build a bayis ne’man B’yisroel B’karov.

    in reply to: I’m engaged! ✨🥂💕 #1808944
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    B’Sha’a Tova U’Mutzlachas!
    Tizki L’vnos Bayis Ne’eman B’Yisroel!

    in reply to: Monsey Stabbing – Hit Gone Bad #1805143
    TRUEBT
    Participant

    In case someone wants to look up the halacha, it’s in Sefer Chofetz Chaim, Hilchot Esurei Lashon Hara, Kelal Vav, Halachos 10-11. The Be’er Mayim Chayim explains why it might be mutar to publicize this story. Basically, it might be mutar so that other Jews can protect themselves from harm. However, to really understand the halacha, you would need to understand how the Chofetz Chaim resolves the question of the Rosh on Rashi in Germara Niddah 61a. (see Be’er Mayim Chayim 28.)

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