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Viewing 50 posts - 1 through 50 (of 118 total)
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  • in reply to: Anti Haredi Naftali Bennett (the supposed “dati” prez.) #2015149
    jdb
    Participant

    One can be dati, shomer shabbos, kashrus, taharas hamishpacha and even a gadol btorah and not be chareidi. There are many giants of Torah among the torani leumi crowd. Being dati has nothing to do with politics.

    Being chareidi doesn’t mean being ultra religious or closer to hashem. It means subscribing to a specific perspective and community.

    And as members of a family, there can be disagreements on what is ideal. That doesn’t undermine anyone’s religiosity.

    in reply to: Can Yeshivish families make aliyah with school age children? #1959265
    jdb
    Participant

    Being yeshivish or chareidi is not much of a consideration. Modern orthodox have the same challenges. There are challenges anytime someone moves, making new friends, adapting to new cultural norms, language barriers, etc.

    English-friendly American Yeshivish elementary schools abound. especially in yeshivish American neighborhoods like Ramat Bet Shemesh. There are many, many options in the Ramat Bet Shemesh Aleph and Gimmel neighborhoods for both boys and girls. The quality of educational options for a typical yeshivish family should not be a concern.

    in reply to: going to eretz yisrael do i have to quarantine? #1910013
    jdb
    Participant

    I believe you have to bidud, and you need to have proof that you have a proper place to bidud and reason for coming. Bidud is much stricter in Israel than in America. Call the Israeli embassy for all the details. Having anitbodies in the past does not mean that you cannot be reinfected.

    in reply to: State of the MO communtiy #1894569
    jdb
    Participant

    I simply want to say to the comments, think before you write. Their loss is our gain? We are one community! We are one family! These words make me sick.

    RIETS is falling apart? Have you been to the YU Beis? I’m not MO, but there are guys learning seriously until all hours of the night. Top learners. There are world class talmiday chachamim and poskim. Don’t speak from the outside, until you have walked he proverbial mile.

    This issue is one we can raise within our own world. How many Baal habatim that wear hats on shabbos do not put on tefillin every day during the week? How many local shteibels can hardly make a minyan during the week? Sure, Shomrei Shabbos is booming, but we know we are not fully accounted for.

    We all live in glass houses. We all need to stop throwing rocks, and start doing yeshiva! It’s Elul! Elul!

    in reply to: Seminary options for beginners level #1877274
    jdb
    Participant

    Check out Neve Yerushalayim. It’s an amazing, life-changing program that helps each participant find themselves, not just find “frum”. Participants come from a very diverse background, and everybody is there on their own journey.

    in reply to: Living in Eretz Yisroel #1873700
    jdb
    Participant

    Just come home. We are here, waiting for you.

    in reply to: Reader Responds to Seminary Woes #1858433
    jdb
    Participant

    I feel for parents with the cost of the year or two on learning in EY for young men and women. As an outsider who hosts these young Americans for shabbos throughout the year, I can tell you with certainty that it is a game changer for so many.

    They gain Independence, confidence, an identity within am Yisrael. They realize who they want to be, and start life off with a former foundation. If you are ready to send your daughters to college and the workplace, it is best to build up an independant sense of who and why they are who they are. This simply doesn’t happen the same way for many when they are still close to home.

    jdb
    Participant

    EY has a special shemirah.

    EY enforced social restrictions faster, and was far more comprehensive in the measures deployed.

    The latest data suggests that the US has a different strain of the virus.

    in reply to: Chicken for the seder – I need advice, fast! #1844268
    jdb
    Participant

    With chicken, so many amazing recipes with tomatoes, balsamic vinegar, look them up online. So tender, it’s one of my favorite dishes all year round.

    I know someone who used to make a big turkey and baste it in orange juice. Stuff is with matza and goodies. Comes out great.

    If you can get a roast (beef), baste it in wine, salt and pepper on the outside, then onion and garlic in the wine on the bottom. Bake it low and slow, it comes out amazing.

    in reply to: Garlic for Coronavirus #1844005
    jdb
    Participant

    I will tell you exactly why this thread is dangerous. I spoke with a relative in BP who has coronavirus, tested and confirmed. They told us that their doctor can’t get the medication they are supposed to get, because there are shortages. But they now knows that garlic and tea are sufficient, and all these guidelines aren’t necessary. This misinformation could be literally sakanas nefashos, endangering millions of lives.

    The OP was sharing his/her personal suspicion that they had a deadly virus, and a statistically meaningless personal experience. I’m sure this came from a good place, but this is not how medicine and science works nd these stories endanger lives. The OP did not create this claim – these are false narratives that have been circling the internet for weeks and have been disproven. Check Snopes. Check every reputable medical site and journal. Speak with your own physician. Do not take medical advice from the Coffee Room.

    It is dangerous to yourself, and everyone else around you.

    in reply to: Long term dangers for children #1843733
    jdb
    Participant

    You will never lose children from following psak hallacha to save their, and your life. You will show them what it means to follow hallacha, even when it says to stop davening with a minyan. This is nothing new in the history of klal yisrael., It has happened before, and we followed the guidance and are still going strong. Be strong, and don’t fall into the yetzer harah to find an underground minyan. It’s kneged hallacha and a Shayla or retsicha.

    I know a few sefardi rabbanim gave a heter for zoom in extreme circumstances, but this was not meant as a blanket allowance as many gedolim have clarified.

    in reply to: Corona-Safe Chol Hamoed Activities for Children #1843346
    jdb
    Participant

    There are reports of people getting this twice. Be a chochom.

    in reply to: Cancel Pesach Programs #1839283
    jdb
    Participant

    I personally would not go to a hotel right now. The challenge is that this is literally people’s parnassah. It’s very difficult to go bankrupt for a safety measure. There is no easy answer to this one.

    in reply to: Canceling Weddings #1838320
    jdb
    Participant

    You don’t cancel a wedding. But you may want to do a smaller wedding. Talk to your rov.

    in reply to: Bar Mitzvah Invitations #1838321
    jdb
    Participant

    Use an email invitation. These are becoming very common in EY, and save a lot of waste.

    in reply to: Drinking fountain soda in NYC #1834081
    jdb
    Participant

    Ask your local Rav or Vaad Hakashrus. I did this regarding some local 711s when this sugya came up almost 20 years ago, and they said told me that the local machines had sufficient filters.

    It should be noted that not all rabbanim or hashgachos require filters. Speak with your Rav, and make your own decisions.

    in reply to: Do you love all Jews… #1800078
    jdb
    Participant

    We can and should try to love all Jews. Even when there is machlokes or milchemes hashem, my rabbeim taught to love the person and disagree with what they are doing. Standing up for emes doesn’t mean hating someone who does something incorrect. It means davening for their teshuva.

    in reply to: Boys Learning in Eretz Yisroel #1798367
    jdb
    Participant

    The rabbeim and teachers (for Sem) in American are amazing. In EY it is often on a different level alltogether.

    That said, be carefull that you send to the right program, no matter where they are. I have seen some seminaries (not saying where) that were run as money factories with little attention paid to the young women beyond enforcing strict rules. As a parent, this is so disappointing, considering what amazing options there are out there.

    That said, the ability to live on another plain for a year or two, to live in a culture that values torah in a different way is special. The ability to daven and experience yahadus on a different level, to experience a shabbos in Tsfat with a family that has nothing, but invites the whole world over anyway, to experience Bnei Brak, to experience a shabbos with the amazing communities of Olim in (Ramat and) Bet Shemesh, to experience a shabbos in a yishuv where people are moser nefesh for yishuv ha’aretz, these are not things you get in NY of NJ. There is nothing wrong with the US or the UK. But EY is ours. It’s where we belong. And sending your teens here for a year or three sends a message about what matters most. Before we go to college, before we get married, we orient ourselves towards who we really should strive to be, and what kind of lives we want to live. We give our young men and women a choice, we send them off, we show them our trust and let them discover themselves in a fairly safe and growth driven environment. What a beautiful commitment to our children.

    in reply to: College, Secular Studies & Judaism #1797670
    jdb
    Participant

    Joseph, I’m not here to out you. But if you came out of that frum college with tremendous kishronos and shaychus to your rebbe, was it really so bad? Didn’t we sit together and sing Friday nights on the fourth floor after you made your later Kiddush and hamotsi in a bag of rolls? Didn’t Rav B give you your space to be mishamesh the rebbe when he was in town? I know college isn’t your hashkafa today, but let’s be honest and the damage and growth we experienced in this era of our lives.

    I’m not saying college is for everyone. But for many people, it is the reality of making a parnassah. And as a kehillah, a secular education in a frum context is attainable and neccesary to to our long term viability.

    Follow your rabbanim. But please don’t put down others for following theirs.

    in reply to: Can a frum Jew go on birthright? #1795676
    jdb
    Participant

    Like many questions, this depends on who you ask. I know frum people who have come on trips with no issues. And there are clearly some who have reasons for concern.

    Speak to your Rav, not strangers in the Coffee Room. Regarding Har Herzl, I must object to the comments above. I understand that some have a different hashkafa, and respect your right to follow your rabbanim. Visit there and see for yourself. Speak to the talmidim or Rav Shlomo Zalman. This is a very special place. A place for those who gave their lives for other Jews. Please do not be mevazeh something so holy over political concerns.

    in reply to: Money in the garbage! #1790502
    jdb
    Participant

    There are many great ways to buy shirts for $20-25. From online stores to Cosco, I rarely pay more than $25 for good quality, good design shirts.

    Another great way to live more simply is to live more simply, and among others that chose to live simply as well. It’s very difficult to move, but if you find that materialism in your local community is overwhelming, this may be a worthwhile option to consider.

    This was a major factor in our decision to make aliyah. Our kids don’t ask for the latest and greatest in fashion or tech, because the culture and community we chose to live in doesn’t talk much about fashion or technology. Most people in our neighborhood work hard for their parnassah, but life is just simpler than we had in the US. Simchas are simpler, cars are a bit older, clothing is usually a bit more tsanuah (in the traditional sense of modesty, not just necklines). Moving wasn’t easy, but it has in many ways defined us.

    Bhatzlacha in your journey.

    in reply to: Is Aish too Zionistic to be Effective? #1776114
    jdb
    Participant

    Aish is very successful. It’s not about changing people, it’s about helping people embrace their Judaism and add mitzvos. It’s not all or nothing.

    More unaffiliated Jews in America associate with Israel than with religion. It’s a door opener.

    Before your criticize, open your own worldwide network of yeshivos and do something better.

    in reply to: Why do some Americans not eat the OU hechsher in E”Y? #1770724
    jdb
    Participant

    To imply that OU Israel is not reliable is motsi Shem rah. To suggest that they accept Heter Mechirah is motsi Shem rah. I have a neighbor who is a mashgiach for the Rabbanut that won’t allow OU products into his home. We have discussed this at length. The rumors he has heard about OU Israel and for that matter, OU would be laughable to anyone that knows the world class organization they run.

    The top hashgachos in Israel often maintain standards well beyond what one is accustomed to seeing in the US. But to suggest that OU in the US is acceptable but in Israel they are not is often ignorance or politics.

    I have discussed this behind closed doors with leading Yeshivish rabbonim. For example, when I made Aliyah I sat with my Rosh Yeshiva to ask him what standards I should keep. Behind closed doors, he said amazing things about many hashgachos, but he also doesn’t bring them into his home because he wants neighbors to be comfortable eating in his home.

    Please do not confuse the issues. There is a reality, and there are rumors and hearsay. Don’t jump to conclusions without doing your own research.

    in reply to: Why do some Americans not eat the OU hechsher in E”Y? #1770334
    jdb
    Participant

    I have written to the OU about this. OU Israel is the same standard as OU Kosher in the US. With the added hallachos of EY. Standards in Israel are different overall, and kashrus preferences often include political considerations.

    Tachlis, it’s the OU. Please stop with the motsi Shem rah.

    in reply to: Are sfardim from the 10 shvatim #1744270
    jdb
    Participant

    Chevra, Sefardim are called Sefardim because they remained in the mediteranean basin after the Spanish Inquisition and subsequent expulsion (sefard is spain). Some moved northward, joining the communities of France/Germany and became known as Ashkenazim.

    The 10 shevatim split off over a thousand years earlier.

    This thread is rediculous.

    in reply to: Is Israel part of galus? #1743380
    jdb
    Participant

    This isn’t a yes or no question, there are varying shades of gray. You can be in EY and still be in galus.

    On that note, geulah and moshiach are also generally not regarded as black and white. There are stages and phases. Even the most ardent Zionist say a Yehi Ratzon on Yom Haatamuat and Yom Yerushalayim praying for the guelah shelayma – implying that we don’t yet have the full geulah. And many who are not zionists still believe that we are in ikvesah demeshicha – because of the holocaust, etc.

    Let’s focus on what we have in common and daven for progress.

    in reply to: Does Joseph Live in Eretz Yisroel? #1741590
    jdb
    Participant

    I went to yeshiva with Joseph. Quite sure he is not in EY, though we did lose touch some time ago.

    in reply to: Hechsherim in Israel #1736208
    jdb
    Participant

    @lakewut

    Rabbanut it kosher. They don’t keep the same chumras as OU (e.g. glatt). And OU doesn’t keep the chumras of the Rabbanut (e.g. chadash, chalav akum when it’s not powdered).

    These are apples and oranges. The OU is also more centralized and standards are enforced uniformly. The Rabbanut is more decentralized more like a local vaad hakashrus, where each area goes by the rabbanim of their area, with national minimum standards and local enforcement.

    in reply to: Hechsherim in Israel #1734977
    jdb
    Participant

    It’s not complicated. There are just more choices. If you are a machmir, you will have the highest standards. If you want the basics, you ate more than covered. And every level in between is accommodated.

    BH we have so many Jews in EY that want to keep kosher!

    If you have any questions, ask an American in EY that you identify with about their standards. Lots of options.

    in reply to: Mislabeled Kosher Products #1728738
    jdb
    Participant

    Mods, why are we allowing people to besmirch the OU? They refuse to change the label? This isn’t their label to change. They control the OU or OUD logo.

    in reply to: Define tzioni. #1728104
    jdb
    Participant

    To quote a notable Rav in Ramat Bet Shemesh, a tsioni is a Jew who loves Erets Yisrael. We all aim to love EY, and chas vshalom would never want to fall into cheit hameraglim and say negative things.

    In addition to the above, some culturally use this term to refer to one’s stance vis a vis the medinah. But let’s make no mistake. We are all, as frum Jews, zionists in the pre Herzl state of the word.

    in reply to: How long will it take? #1727486
    jdb
    Participant

    The fringes of both political parties are gaining power and bringing harsh anti-semitic rhetoric. Let’s not kid ourselves. For every anti-Israel movement on the left, there are people chanting Jews Will Not Replace Us on the right.

    It’s coming from both sides.

    in reply to: Is there a hetter for staying up both nights of Shavuos? #1727483
    jdb
    Participant

    If you want to take something on, ask your rabbeim or community rav, not an online forum. There is a big inyan to be “normal” and do your best within the accepted minhagim. Adding on to this is something that should be done with proper guidance.

    in reply to: Lowering our standards for a good cause. #1726240
    jdb
    Participant

    As I see it, there are three sides to this, and in all situations one’s personal Rav should be consulted:

    1) Lowering an existing standard of hiddur: for example, if you usually hold by a certain standard of kashrus, but are eating at your grandparents home, who hold a lighter standard (that is still a basic level of kosher). In my experience, most rabbanim have advised me that the mitzvos of kibbud and ahavas yisrael outweigh personal considerations (hiddurim).

    2) Changing accepted standards of conduct to a hallachikly questionable mode of conduct for a good cause: Allowing casino nights for a tsedaka organization. I have heard some impressive rabbanim speak at these events, and others that are pashut fire against them. Again, ask your local rav.

    3) Changing a social standard for a personal or social reason: For example, wearing biking clothes when biking, or running outdoors in more “sporty clothing”. Some communities tend to be more stringent, but this is generally perceived as less of a hallachik issue and more of a hashkfik one.

    In all three cases, speak with a Rav. And please, in this time of sefirah, do not speak ill of others who have a psak different than your own.

    in reply to: WARNING : Shemita wines being sold in NY/NJ #1724650
    jdb
    Participant

    Zvika, these are major batei din you are being mevazeh. Please hold your opinion on major rabbanim to yourself.

    in reply to: Hallel with Bracha on YH? #1724648
    jdb
    Participant

    There is an old minhag that goes back hundreds of years that communities said hallel on the day that they saw a yeshua, and continued saying hallel to commemorate and thank HKBH.

    Forget politics. Most gedolim see the modern day return to EY as an amazing thing. If you live in a place that says hallel, say it with pride. If you don’t, remember to be thankful to HKBH for what we have and for those who have their lives to make it possible.

    in reply to: WARNING : Shemita wines being sold in NY/NJ #1723833
    jdb
    Participant

    Please note that while shmittah wine should not leave EY, this provides you with an amazing opportunity! Learn hilchos shmittah! Discuss it with your kids! Bring the wine to your table and be sure not to drink it – as shemittah wine should not be wasted or used for a secondary purpose such as cooking.

    Do not be afraid of a mitzvah, it’s an opportunity!

    in reply to: Shaving during the Omer #1723570
    jdb
    Participant

    There are valid and acceptee heterim for different circumstances. Most importantly, it’s yimay sefirah. Don’t rush to judge another Jew.

    in reply to: Payos behind the ears? Why? #1722828
    jdb
    Participant

    This isn’t new, the trend is 30 years old. It’s a cultural thing.

    in reply to: Anti-Semitism – Caused By Ourselves? #1717540
    jdb
    Participant

    On the other hand, today’s youth have access to kosher entertainment and concerts, where singers reach to the heavens bringing deeper emotional appreciation to divray chazal. Today’s restaurants have the highest standards of kashrus, not to mention glatt, chalav yisrael, pas yisrael and more. Today’s families have access to kosher magazines as beautiful as secular media. The overall focus on limud hatotah in nearly without precident in Jewish history.

    Yes, we should be reaching for more ruchniyus.

    BUT, to ignore our growth is unfair, and to say that this is the cause of all anti-Semitism requires nevuah.

    in reply to: Which mesivta should i send my 8th grade son to? #1715357
    jdb
    Participant

    Do what is best for your son, regardless of the name. Look at the quality of the education, of the rabbonim, or the chevra and your son. Where is he most likely to come out the best person, the best Jew? Does he thrive more from intimacy of small chevra, or being challenged by a higher level of learning? Either way, not a coffee room decision.

    in reply to: Sending Jewish Children to Secular College #1713606
    jdb
    Participant

    Depends.

    A famous, well respected Mashgiach in a major NY-area yeshiva went to college at his parents insistence. When he asked his Rebbe, one of the gedolem, which college he should attend, out of the two options, his Rebbe recommended a Catholic university. He asked him Rebbe, “But there is a huge cruifix on the wall of the lecture halls!” His Rebbe answered “Are you afraid he will jump off the wall and hurt you? In this environment, if you spend the rest of your time in yeshiva, you won’t feel pressured to fit in.”

    There is nothing that is black and white in life.

    jdb
    Participant

    This varies by community. Some allow some mixing during chasunas, some encourage it, some don’t allow it at all.

    in reply to: Chabad? Most non religious Jews are not halachikly Jewish. #1700923
    jdb
    Participant

    OK, as with all things in life, speak with the experts. I am no expert, but your mitsiyus is totally off. Of the hundreds of people I came into contact with whole I was involved in kiruv, only two or three were not hallachikly Jewish.

    I have discussed this issue with the leading outreach groups in the world. Most have received guidance from gedolim that you should be open to anyone who identifies as Jewish, as asking about heritage and lineage will turn people away.

    Another organization had a psak that as long as it is less than one in ten, there is no concern with having anyone who identifies as Jewish on your program. If we, the staff, discovered that someone may not be hallachikly Jewish, we were told not to make an issue of it in the moment. Down the line, you can make a mental note and focus on some people, but even they have seven mitzvos, and being a ma’amin is a big deal.

    Tachlis, not an issue.

    in reply to: MOSHIACH HAS ARRIVED IN YERUSHALAYIM!! #1699999
    jdb
    Participant

    For many of us, we spend our day waiting and hoping. We plan simchas hoping that the family abroad will be here to join us, as moshiach will bring them.

    This isn’t a joke or a thread. It’s our lives.

    On a separate note, don’t forget that it’s easier than ever to hear shofar around the world. We have all heard the recording of Rav Goren blowing shofar from the Kotel. When people feel the geulah, they prepare for it. They keep a bag packed. They invest in developing EY.

    When they planned the high speed rail to Yerushalayim, this was part of the plan. When they plan the high capacity cable car and light rail in Yerushalayim, they are planning for moshiach. The only question is if you will join us.

    in reply to: Joining Litvishe #1698992
    jdb
    Participant

    Moshe Rabbeinu did not wear a tie, a suit, a bekeshe or a fedora. Rebbe Akiva and Rashi did not dress like Rav Moshe. Bnei torah dress with a certain kavod, a respectability. Some communities maintain a stricter adherence to older modes of dress, some are more up to date in their modes of dress. But let’s be real – few communities can date their mode of dress to the rishonim – and these are mostly the sefardim, no the Asheke/Chassidim.

    The idea of bochrim shaving is not new. Look at pictures of the yeshivos before the war. Bochrim in the Lita and many in Poland did not have beards or long peiyos. They generally wore suits and fedoras, and most were colorful – not just black. Ties are not new – you see them in the video of the Chafets Chaim.

    Times change and styles change. Not a reason for machlokes.

    in reply to: American Jewry in Galus #1698824
    jdb
    Participant

    Living in EY is generally regarded as a mitzvah kiyumis. This means that there are legit reasons for remaining in Chu”l, and these can be taken into account when considering whether or not the fullfil the mitzvah kiyumis of living in EY. Once one lives here, making “yeridah” is more problematic, as it’s an action of removing the status of fulfilling the mitzvah.

    Practically however, we are noheig to wear tsitsis every day, which is a mitzvah kiyumis.

    Regarding gedolim living in ChuL, ask them why they haven’t moved. I have asked many gedolim in America this question, in a respectful manner. The general answer is that a leader cannot abandon their folllowers. While many rabbanim have chose to make aliyah, this is a tough decision to make because of these competing pressures. Ask your Rav, it’s a serious shayla. Most families in EY, especially those who try to work, can support their families. The answer as to whether or not one should remain in America when the only reason not to move is that it takes hard work… not pashut.

    in reply to: why am I a rasha? #1697567
    jdb
    Participant

    We are judged by the only ONE who can judge, by our context in life, by the opportunities and challenges, but our starting point and our journey. Most importantly, you have a Father with a capital letter who loves you, who yearns for the good you bring to the world. I’m not a Chabadnik, but if you have concerns about being a rasha, I recommend learning some Tanya. Most of us are beinonim. We are in the middle, we have our battles, we lose many of them, and we lose sight of the one’s we win.

    At the same time, if you find that you are hard on yourself or negative about your lot in life, you may have some anxiety or depression. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, and getting help will help you immeasurably. Find a qualified, licensed professional, do the hard work in therapy, and your life will change.

    You are not a rasha. The very fact that you feel bad, that you have charata means that you have a powerful inner strength.

    in reply to: Halachically okay to be liberal? #1695922
    jdb
    Participant

    Liberal is a mindset. The torah is not exclusively aligned with any political party. There are many times and places that torah values align with today’s conservative values, but this isn’t exclusive, and equating any secular value system with a political outlook or party is simply untrue. The torah is unique and bigger than any secular mindset.

    in reply to: What cell phone do you have? #1692515
    jdb
    Participant

    If you aren’t looking for a kosher phone per se, Xiaomi is the best value right now. I have had a Redmi Note 4 for over two years with no issues, the battery lasts forever and the camera is decent. If you want a more “normal” Android experience, use a launcher like Lawnchair (it’s free) and it will feel more standard.

    The Redmi Note 7 Pro has a camera that is almost on par with the top iPhone, and costs $250 for the top of the line model (coming out next week). You can buy their phones online from AliExpress, BangGood, GearBest etc.

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