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I’d vote for Supreme, but with his tooth-brushing initiative, maybe he might have some kind of deals with these big toothpaste businesses? I’m wary of supporting a candidate with ties to big business.
I wouldn’t put it past these politicians, even if they are married.
@SefardiGuy, what kind of 24 year old?
I don’t like bowling as a date, like someone else mentioned, it’s generally not so tznius and doesn’t stimulate conversation. You aren’t doing it together.
I’m thinking nature walks, parks, outdoor rec centers, boardwalk… I once went shooting which was really exciting and started interesting (political?) conversations. Too bad it wasn’t a shidduch date!
And now that the weather is getting really nice go to state fairs! Hike in (populated) areas, or if you want to stay indoors go do a Mystery Room. That gives you stimulating puzzle to solve and creates a team setting where you both have to DO SOMETHING.
What about animal shelters? They always love to have volunteers to walk their dogs and give them some attention, go for it!
Visit a small self-guided museum. I’m thinking of the Ripley’s in Atlantic City. That will give you something to talk about!
If you have to ask strangers what to speak about on your date, you obviously need a setting which will be able to prompt conversation. Don’t do a lounge
Talking about nothing can be extremely entertaining. When you speak of nothing, there is nothing going on around you and nothing exciting happens. This causes a chain reaction of nothingness.
Have you ever tried to do absolutely nothing? Impossible! Doing nothing is super-hard. You will always be inhaling oxygen and exhaling carbon dioxide.
That means, even when you do nothing you’re accomplishing something! Ain’t that something? But we aren’t talking about something, we’re talking about nothing!
Difficult to stay on the nothing topic, even though there is so much nothing to speak about!
Imagine you are in a world of just nothing. Nothing. Can you even imagine that? NO! Because you will still see something! Now, whether you see white, black, air or clouds, it’s still SOMETHING! and something isn’t nothing.
Now let me share a story. There was a young boy—-whoops! that’s a something. I was supposed to talk about nothing.
This topic reminds me of something (oh no!) I once tried to do. Spend a day not thinking of something.(negative something=nothing) When you concentrate on not doing something (nothing), you end up with so much of that something. Like meditating.
Now, I’m not sure where I’m going with this, but that’s okay, because all is nothing and this post is just another blip on the world wide web along with all the other nothings floating around.
If I were to get all philosophical I’d say the whole world is really just nothing, just an illusion as G-d watches from above. None of this post about nothingness will matter as it is nothingness in itself.
**If you get to the end of this message without tearing your eyebrows out, my birthday is tomorrow (Go pi day) I’d love some cake. Thanks in advance
I’m with Apushuta on this one. Do something fun for the next date. Create a mood.
The American brands of most things in Israel are more expensive than they would be buying them in the US. Joseph, like one of my friends used to say “For Israelis, deodorant is a luxury”.
Apparently the deodorant there isn’t the same. Bring your own. And like Zehavasdad said: MONEY.
It’s the boy! They have so much more to choose from that they can easily dismiss a young lady that isn’t exactly what he wants. (Or his mother…another argument). For the girls…not so much. They don’t have such a big pool from which to make a selection.
Simply Orange. It just has a really fresh, sweet taste. And never from concentrate!
RebYidd….I don’t know if you’ve heard. Barack Obama is male while Queen Elizabeth is female.
@shopping, I meant it equally, using the queen (female) and the president (male) as examples to show that we all should be ‘refined’. MEN AND WOMEN. It’s nice that way, but I don’t believe it’s halacha. And like someone else brought up, making chumros into halacha has had VERY serious ramifications.
Don’t get me wrong, your friend is being wonderful by doing this, as long as she (and others around her for that matter) know it’s just a chumra
Don’t think of it as ‘allowed’ and ‘not allowed’, women and men. For a man OR a woman, is it refined to do all the things you list up there in public? Can you imagine the president or the queen doing those things in public? That’s the idea. Not making a big scene of yourself is just a refined way of behaving.
Do I agree women should not do these things according to halacha? No, I do these things all the time. Is it classy and elegant? No.
@coffee addict, with that logic no girls should wear anything other than what they normally do, because that would ‘call attention’
@Joseph, when you do a shidduch call and like you said, ‘brainwash folks about your kids’, people still have access to more material. Someone interested in the girl/guy has different ways to receive more accurate information, even if you only speak about the positive aspects of your kid. A girl in seminary, on the other hand, has none of that.
She’s surrounded by only what the sem wants her to hear. That kid is isolated from reality. She has no other ways to learn what it’s really like. They don’t tell your daughter what it’s like having 4 kids and morning sickness and still have the entire burden of bringing home enough money for her entire family, they only tell her she has the most wonderful zechus of having her husband learn without having to worry about supporting his family.
So yes, that’s brainwashing.
I agree, sem is a scam. It’s promoted as a ‘once in a lifetime experience you’ll never have the opportunity to have again’ and that fear sells. I can’t count how many of my friends went because “If I don’t go, I’ll never be able to have another chance!” That’s so ridiculous! Many girls specifically DO NOT want to go, but their parents and teachers convince them it’s the ‘right’ thing to do to get a shidduch. What is this? Four years in a frum high school wasn’t enough?
Forget about the costs (to the parents! Why are they supporting this nonsense?!) of sending your child to Israel, bringing them home for pesach and/or simchas. Oh yeah, and these sems don’t even host your daughter for the shabbossim she will spend away from home, she has to find ‘hosts’ to have her! AND THEN THESE GIRLS HAVE TO BUY THEIR HOST A GIFT! I heard this first-hand from my classmates who are now in Israel. I couldn’t believe it. They go thru thousands of dollars in spending money, as all the American products they are used to are more costly than they are aware, but who cares if it’s tatty’s money, right?
And let’s not forget about the fact that for every girl saying that sem is so “Amaaaazzziiinggg” there is another who isn’t really enjoying herself, misses home, hates the food, and is counting the days until it’s over. But they’d never admit it. They go along with their friends saying they’re having a great time because ‘everyone else seems to like it’. It’s a sem culture.
I’m glad I made the choice to skip sem. I didn’t have the heart to ask my parents for thirty grand for a big joke. I would’ve had the time of my life, but the price is a little too high for a year-long party.
I’m now at a local college, and I can also say it’s “ammmaaaazzzzinggg”, I’m learning stuff, making friends, and I don’t rely on my (not very wealthy) parents to pay for it, as I also work part-time.
When they say ‘natural’ it means the food is free from artificial colors, flavors and preservatives. Whether or not that actually happens is anybody’s guess.
I have a bag in my closet of all my (many) stuffed animals from when I was a child. We call it the suffocation bag, where all of those friends go to die. I thought about donating them, but by now they’re all dead.
That should be the first date. The girl should make some food, if the guy likes it, they can proceed.
The first man I dated was over a foot taller than me. When he walked at a normal pace I couldn’t keep up. At first he slowed down every so often to let me catch up.
I guess after doing that a few times he either forgot or thought I got used to walking faster, and he didn’t stop or slow. He just kept walking.
I gave up trying to reach him and just stayed put and waited for him to notice I wasn’t with him anymore.
I got a call on my cell a few minutes later. He had walked two blocks, talking to himself and wondering why I had become so quiet. LOL
Having a stuffed animal and imaginary friends are two completely different things.
An imaginary friend (one you think is real) is a way children learn and develop into social beings, you can read a lot about children and friends like these. There are entire Psychology courses on this topic.
Having a teddy bear/stuffed animal is usually for comfort/company when you’re sick or tired or just need something fuzzy to cuddle. They make good pillows and provide comfort when you need a good cry.There’s nothing immature about that.
Zehavasdad: You got me laughing there. 🙂
RebYidd23, There are women going outside within the frum world?? Wait a second. You mean outside the house? A woman going out of the kitchen we can find heterim for, (only in extreme circumstances, of course) but outdoors?! What have we come to as frum yidden?
I think I’m going to take on some extra tehillim and I’m going to daven for the future of this nation. I can’t believe this.
A huge amount of hair dye product contain chemicals linked to cancer. If you get ‘all natural’ and ‘organic’ hair dye (read: expensive) it shouldn’t be a problem.
I’ve used hydrogen peroxide to bleach my hair, it’s great. Highlights look more natural if done this way instead of using a dyeing kit, and it doesn’t have all that toxic stuff.
And about men going grey young, what about losing their hair altogether? Is it muttar for a man to get treatment to regrow his hair, or is that considered a woman-thing?
I agree with golfer, short guys have it pretty tough. I know I wouldn’t even consider going out with someone shorter than me.
But overweight girls are usually pretty. The most pretty girls I know are considered ‘fat’, which is such a shame. Most people don’t like that stick-thin look anyway. In my opinion you’re better off being the overweight girl than the short guy. It’s also that short guys don’t even have a chance to change their height. It’s unfortunate.
I went out with a guy who was 24, and I was 18. I am considered ‘mature’ but still, it was uncomfortable. I said no after a few dates, even though he was interested. I don’t know why men always want younger and younger girls. It’s definitely contributing to the whole “crisis”.
I would also think that men wouldn’t want a girl who is fresh out of high school or sem when they are more grown up. I’d want someone within 2 or 3 years of my age, because as much as people think it doesn’t matter, it does. Priorities and interests change as you get older. Especially when you’re young each year makes a really big difference.
About the 25/55 year old marriage, good for them for making it work! But I wouldn’t believe they have too much in common.
What about Avraham Avinu? Didn’t he have long hair?
I think it’s a good idea. How about we extend the 3 years thing we got going on for young boys till they’re in their teens or twenties. Let’s see how guys would deal with frizz and knotty locks and having to spend money on styling tools and hair product. It’ll give us some insight as to what kind of guy they are before we marry them, right? With all the crazy questions people ask these days about a prospective shidduch, this will give people more to play with.
I’m totally for this.
It’s the adrenaline. It’s about the rush. The suspense. The thrill.
Go Big. Go Six Flags
What makes me happy is making others smile. I go to a nursing home nearby and visit the old people and seeing their faces light up makes me feel productive and content.
I’d get a simple Honda Civic. There’s nothing extraordinary about them and they don’t stand out amongst the millions of others on the road. This would be especially helpful when I kidnap a child and the police are looking for one of the most popular models on the market.
If the OP ever does find out whether it’s halachaclly okay or not, please let the rest of us know. I’m quite curious
We’re so quick to say, “It’s assur because it’s like goyim!” but, if we couldn’t do anything they do, we’d be in trouble.
“Nope, you can’t go to Walmart, goyim do that!” and, “It’s assur to eat popcorn! That’s goyish!” “Are you driving a car?! That’s a goyish influence!”
Maybe having bangs is assur, maybe it’s not, but I’m personally sick of hearing that things are ‘Goyish’. There’s nothing ‘Goyish’ about things that aren’t Jewish. They might not be in accordance with minhagim or religious standards we hold as frum Jews, but that doesn’t make something ‘Goyish’. It makes it secular.
And for the most part, there’s nothing wrong with secular things. We involve ourselves with things that aren’t necessarily Jewish for most of our days. And that’s okay, as long as we understand that those things aren’t our priority.
So as long as your haircut isn’t a halachic problem, go ahead and do what makes you happy. I personally think long hair on men looks terrific, if you can pull off the look.
Good luck
Yungerman123 explained it well. Women in general don’t necessarily appreciate a gift itself, they appreciate the thought behind it. And because flowers typically don’t DO anything, it shows *just* the thought behind it. And that’s what makes flowers a nice gift. It helps that they look beautiful and smell good.
bike riding is a fun, healthy activity for boys and girls of any age. is there a reason it was banned? I’m very curious.
i agree, that would show a confidence and peace with himself, like he is happy in his own shoes.
but no, it is NOT OKAY to talk about this the first time you are meeting someone.
actually @torah613, i was once approached by a very wonderful gentleman who told me all about his pink elephant.
i dont think its so tabboo anymore to discuss these things with a potential mate. yes, it is indeed personal, maybe not appropriate for a first date, but i didnt just dump him because he wanted to open up about it.
for all those who are wondering, no i didnt marry the guy, but thats because of his obsession with sugar coated watermelons. which i thought very insecure. i want someone who can feel good enough about himself and be able to get a cantaloupe.
i agree with those people. just because OUR religion doesnt approve of gay marriage doesn’t mean we have to force it on others.
my thinking is that gay marriage a halachic issue, not one for the government. every american has rights.
i get those emails all the time. you must’ve put your email address on a site thats not so trustworhty, like i do all the time.
make sure you put that in the trash and block the email adress it came from.
today im the oldest ive ever been, and the youngest ill ever be again.
its scary.
but ive heard that old people have something in their brains that make them accept death. because, like someone once told me, no one wants to live forever.
so lets all put on a streimel and bekitche and lets see what happens…
ill make sure to hide my foot under a super long gown, and when the chosson would try to step on it, i would have a loud siren go off, so that he will be distracted and i will step on his.
perfect, no?
ours lasted until 11;30
black hat guys arent all the same?! huh?
no offense to posters here, and i understand they are trying to help, but this is disgusting.
according to some people, you might think that women shouldnt be seen or heard. ever. whether single or married.
i am truly disgusted
stay away from the elephants in the car, they usually drive very
ahhhhhh!!!the lady fingers werent good because all of em wanted wedding rings, so they changed it to baby fingers so that they are smaller, (cheaper) and noone has to buy any jewelry erev pesach because they are too busy cleaning