Burnt Steak

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  • in reply to: Is it ok to start a new topic when you are Ad Dlo Yada? #1714638

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    According to some, you can fulfill the obligation by drinking slightly more than you usually do and then taking a nap. So if you can make new threads while sleeping, kudos.

    in reply to: Attn: Burnt Steak #1714696

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    I am for tonight.

    And since I can not respond to my other thread from around a year ago. I will give an update and go off on a big tangent/ say what is on my mind. (Sorry about that. I am tired and should be sleeping.)

    That post came during one of the hardest times in my life. I still have struggles as we all do, but I still am religious. I don’t daven as much as I should or even put on tephilin most days. But I value Judaism and still talk with G-d, keep kosher, and do various chessed that keep me connected. I still am convinced 100% that G-d is out there and always puts us in the right situation.

    At the time, I was in a bad environment that was fueling those feelings. I was a victim of Domestic abuse. I had an abuse step father that physically abused my mother and emotionally abused my family. He officially had a “Rabbinic” degree from a somewhat prestigious place. He was never in a communal role.

    I’m doing much better now. I got help from friends. I left a job that was not a good fit for me. I got in touch with my creative side and learned guitar which helped me express myself in a creative and healthy way. I focused on self care and worked out, slept more, and ate healthier. My Mom finally got a get a few months ago. And I paid off a few student loans, which freed me to move to a different neighborhood, which I will do so in a few months.

    However the thing that helped the most was straight from G-d. A lot of times terrible things will happen and we don’t know why it happened. In a way, I got very lucky since the messages I received are very to the point while being gruesome. I will not share the details of what happened, but I was put in a situation where I witnessed something very gruesome and it helped me realize that life is very precious. Once I started to focus on life, it helped me break from the cycle of negativity that I was trapped in. I learned a lot about my self in the following weeks and I know where my strengths and weaknesses are. I have something to live for and I want to channel my actions into something powerfully positive so I can help others in my situation.

    I want to create a Jewish community where we do not look at each other as Hassidic or Litvish, Orthdox or Reform/ Conservative, New Yorker or Out Of Towner. Until we stop viewing a different side as the other and start to see each other as fellow Jews, showing compassion and genuine kindness to each other, we will not break this toxic cycle. Those who do not learn history are bound to repeat it. As kids we learn Sefer Bereshis. We learn the values of the Avot, but then we see what Sinas Chinum could do when the brothers sold Yosef. We should probably focus more on those lessons because we are still in exile and Sinas Chinum was the cause.

    I appreciate everyone in the coffee room who said such nice things and reminded me of my previous posts. It helped me more than you can imagine.

    I don’t know if I will comment again after tonight but I will probably come back to lurk every once in a while.

    in reply to: Where to go on a date? #1714633

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    Since there were not many suggestions given, I will assume Ben Torah is still trying to find a good spot to take his date. I have risen from the ashes and decided to check out the CR after a long break.

    Here is a list of places to go/ things to do in the New York Metro area. Some of these places may have already been mentioned. It depends how comfortable you are with certain settings as some of these places may not be for you. There are many activities that I did not list. What I do for dates is usually give my date 3 options to choose from. I try to ask what type of activity they want to do first and then come up with something. In the early stages of dating, it is generally better to do something that will allow you to have a conversation.

    1. Parks/ Nature

    • Central Park
    • High line
    • Fort Tryon Park
    • Walk along the Hudson River

    2. Sports/ Games

    • Baseball Game (Yankee Stadium, Citi Field, MCU Park, Staten Island Yankees Stadium are some of the venues that host pro teams. You can also go to one of many college games such as Columbia, Fordham, LIU Brooklyn, CCNY, NYU, Yeshiva University, Queens College, etc… )
    • Hockey Game (Rangers, Devils, Islanders)
    • Basketball Game (Knicks, Nets, College games/ Tournaments
    • Soccer (NYFC, Red Bulls)
    • Football (Jets, Giants, Pinstripe Bowl in Yankee Staduim
    • Pool Hall
    • The only mini golf location in Manhattan is bad buts its around pier 28. There is a driving range at Chelsea Piers thats pretty fun
    • Bowling (must be 21 in Manhattan after a certain time since they serve booze)
    • Ping Pong Hall
    • Ice Skating
    • Go Biking
    • kayaking
    • There kinda is hiking spots a bit upstate and in New Jersey

    3. Food

    • There are many coffee shops. Choose one. This is my go to first date activity
    • Kosher Restaurant. There are many in the New York area. I will not list them all.
    • Bar. (There are many different bars that have cool themes. Some will even have board games at the bar)
    • Ice Cream/ FroYo. 16 handles is a kosher FroYo place and there are many around the city.
    • Cook/ Prepare food before and go out on a picknic

    4. Museum / Historical

    • Governor’s Island (Very cool island that has been a military base for most major American wars through WW2)
    • Ellis Island/ Staten Island Ferry
    • Natural History Museum
    • Art Museums
    • Wander the city and look at the architechture
    • There is a subway museum that is pretty good

    5. Artsy/ shows

    • Paint Night
    • Broadway show
    • Pottery Making
    • There is a place where you get to smash everything in the room. Its pretty fun.
    • Escape Rooms
    • Movie
    • Shows in the park
    • Concerts
    • Sometimes there is live music in Bars or Coffee Shops
    • Bring a musical instrument and play for your date
    • There are shops where you can play board games
    in reply to: How does GPA work in frum schools? #1500125

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    The Jewish High School I went to gave a combined GPA and a separate General Studies GPA. It really depends on the school. Either way do your best in school.

    in reply to: Yiddeshe March Madness… #1500123

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    It depends on the religious level of the player. Some women on YU sports teams wear skirts while some wear pants/ shorts. It the same with the men’s teams if they wear a kippah or not. Although YU as an institution is Orthodox in nature, not all of the students are.

    in reply to: Please Post Your Weight #1500119

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    6 feet tall hovering around 165. Hope to build up those muscles and get to 180 ~ 185. Getting on that prison workout: Pushups, Pullups, Squats, Dips, Hanging Leg raises, and Burpies

    in reply to: The Next Lakewood #1410730

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    I completely agree with you that Baltimore is better than NY and NJ. Baltimore and Cleveland are wonderful options because of what they have to offer. I encourage everyone to leave the greater NYC area and move to a more livable place.

    I assumed that by the next Lakewood, this thread was talking about a very small community that has little to none Jewish life and then transforming it into a place of Jewishness. That would disqualify Baltimore and Cleveland as places to be the next “Lakewood”.

    Baltimore and Cleveland have great Jewish histories and saying that either one of them can be the new “Lakewood” is flat out insulting the history of those respective cities. Its disrespectful to Ner Israel and Telz Cleveland to suggest that they don’t currently have any great Torah centers. Personally I think its better for those communities to have natural growth instead of having transplants from New York ignore how the city has operated and decided that they had to do things their way.

    I have a a lot of family that currently live in Baltimore and have been in Baltimore since the 1950s. I also have friends who are from Cleveland as well. I don’t have anything against the city, but regional rivalries encourage me to rip on those two cities. I hope the Ravens never have a winning season again.

    in reply to: The Next Lakewood #1410657

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    Aren’t Baltimore and Cleveland major cities that are much larger than Lakewood?? If you include the non religious than, Baltimore and probably also Cleveland already have a larger Jewish population than Lakewood. Also I wouldn’t exactly call Baltimore safe. The murder rate is double that of Chicago and as of this writing there have been more homicides in Baltimore than in New York city. The Charm City still sounds better than the Mistake by the Lake.

    in reply to: Funny Shidduch Stories #1410638

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    My friend set me up with a girl who he said would be a great fit for me. He wouldn’t tell me much about her except that she was a good girl ect… I talked with her on the phone and we had a good conversation. She told me she knew a few players on my favorite football team and we decided to go out. From speaking with her on the phone I thought she was similar to me.

    At the time I was living in Manhattan and she was in Staten Island. We were gonna do the date in lower Manhattan. I went to meet her on the Staten Island side of the ferry. She was late and missed the ferry. When I saw her I knew it would not work out. I was not attracted to her, she was very different hasgafically than me, and we had almost opposite views in life and wanted different things. We ended up walking around lower Manhattan and I decided to have some fun and asked her if she knew who Harambe זכרונו לברכה was. When I heard she didn’t know about the Great One, I spent the rest of the date showing her Harambe memes.

    I ended the date on the ferry ride back to Staten Island. Unsurprisingly she agreed with me.

    in reply to: How to get along with workmates. #1410136

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    Doesn’t having the word “maid” within a name kind of give it away? Its a pretty good pun saying shes a servant of G-d.

    in reply to: Crime in the good ole’ USA #1365928

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    Philadelphia has had 216 homicides so far this year according to the FBI. Sadly this is not exactly news that a national audience would be shocked by. Another murder in Philly, same as the week before (and the week before that). You don’t hear in the national news every day about the specific murder in Chicago, because its become expected.

    Depending on who you speak with, Charlottesville was a terrorist attack. Terrorism is more news worthy than Murder.

    in reply to: Cats, Katz, and all other feline friends #1322243

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    Today I walked into a Israeli style restaurant in NYC that also sells cholent on Thursday nights. Apparently its not a normal thing to ask for cholent in a pita.

    Chulent is drippy and hot. Pita is a bread pocket. Fill the pita with the cholent and you don’t have to worry about bowls or inconvenient spoons. Pita + cholent will solve the shiduch crisis. If we can make those foods work together, then we can make any 2 people work together.

    in reply to: Dried salami #1322241

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    Romanian in Chicago has salamis you can buy and hang without doing any special preparation.
    Just find a dry place to hang it for 3-5 weeks.
    IMO best place to get kosher meat in America.

    in reply to: Ideas For Bachurim 💡👨 #1322240

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    Create a punk rock band.


    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    Search job boards. Linkedin, glassdoor, indeed, ect… Good Luck!

    in reply to: Chazara #1258928

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    Right now I’m learning with someone Gemara that he has already learned. The learning for him is Chazara. You can always chazar it with someone else who has never learned it before. If it works for my chavrusa it might work for you.

    in reply to: marrying a good boy who might not be good enough for you #1220672

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    “Are you planning on learning full time?”

    No. I went to college, recently graduated and have a job. Right now I don’t have any desire to learn full time.

    in reply to: Shidduch resume #1218973

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    I want to give other guys a chance.

    in reply to: marrying a good boy who might not be good enough for you #1220667

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    “I am not getting into it I meant I do not trust modern boys for personal reasons but I do trust yeshivish boys.”

    I completely understand that. Sorry for jumping to conclusions. I wish you luck.

    in reply to: Recipe thread halacha #1217665

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Lean beef

    in reply to: THE BROKEN TELEPHONE GAME!!! #1228030

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    Chaos

    Professor

    College

    Sports

    Baseball

    Spring Training

    in reply to: marrying a good boy who might not be good enough for you #1220642

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    After reading all this it seems that you don’t have much experience being around boys or relationships in general and thats not a good or bad thing. First you should realize that he likes you. You can be direct and let him know the truth. Tell him that you do not think what he is doing is appropriate and that you are not interested in going out with him. Saying you want to move to Lakewood is just hinting and some guys (like me) just don’t get those types of hints. Learn to say no when he asks you to do things that make you uncomfortable (like playing non Jewish music). At the end of the day its your decision and don’t stress yourself out about things like this.

    The whole dating process is not easy and even when you find someone and you think they might be the one, it might not work out for various reasons. Sit back and understand that G-d has a plan and it will work out.

    I’m a guy and I’m going through the process myself, so I understand there can be trying times. I’m coming from a more OOT MO YU type background so my experiences are completely different.

    One thing that you wrote disturbs me. You mentioned that it was a good thing you never had a boyfriend (fine). But the reason you gave was because you don’t trust boys, yet you want to be set up with one (red flags). You do realize that if you don’t trust boys, then you are not ready to date one. If you want to have a good marriage then your relationship will have to be built on trust. If there is no trust, then what happens when you have kids? Will you trust your husband to make good decisions on how to raise them? Maybe I’m reading into that too much, but I recently was going out with a wonderful girl who had gone through some very hard situations and had never been in a real relationship before. Right as we were about to be much more serious, she realized that she was not ready to open up so we ended it.

    Sorry for the long post.

    Tl:dr Be direct with him. Sit back and don’t stress about the dating process, it will all work out. Don’t date until you are truly ready.

    in reply to: Best Jewish Singer #1219051

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    In my opinion it has to be Alex Clare. He is an Orthodox Jew who in 2011 had “Too close” hit #7 in the USA charts. Doesn’t exactly sing “Jewish” music but fits the OP’s criteria.

    in reply to: Spiders in dreams #1166832

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    Are you talking about dreams where you are a spider? I had one of those. I was a spider and I was playing football. But it wasn’t in the NFL or anything. I was playing arena football on a fenced in roof, kinda like in the game NFL Street. I was climbing up walls and making great catches.

    The next day I played football in my yeshiva and I caught the winning touchdown. So I think Spider dreams are connected to you playing well in football the next day.

    in reply to: I'm Scared of Heights… #1165073

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    Sam, YU is in Washington Heights. Turo would be a better choice

    in reply to: Jacob Wagschal new to forum #1160577

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    You can always go into New York city or one of the communities in New Jersey. Or you can always cook it yourself. Cooking is the best way to get good kosher food at a less expensive price than restaurants.

    in reply to: Pokmon in BMG #1161208

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    Honestly as far as apps go Pokemon Go is a very safe and innocent app. There are many incentives to walk around and explore the area you live in. There are ways to get Pokemon by walking and running around. It helps get kids out of the house and doing something a more productive then just sitting in the house playing video games. There has already been noticeable positive effects on some people with depression that play the game.

    I do understand that it can be a annoying having Pokestops in some areas, but on the whole this is probably one of the better apps and if you really want to pick a bone with certain apps, there are many more which are much much worse.

    in reply to: The biggest issue facing the Frum world #1154048

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    There are many areas in the USA outside of NY that allow frum people to live comfortably. I’m not from New York and I am currently living in New York for School. The price of food overall is actually cheaper out of New York than in New York. Sure Kosher meat and cheese are cheaper, but the other things like fruits and vegetables and other objects are much cheaper and usually better quality outside of New York.

    Almost all Jewish schools outside of New York will never reject a kid because they can’t pay for it. So there should not be any complaint about not being able to afford a Jewish education. Many people support these places outside of New York. However the choices are not always going to be perfect. But that can be a good thing as your child will learn to be more accepting of Jews from all different walks of life. In my high school class, there were kids from conservative backgrounds and kids that wore blackhats. We got along fine and we saw each other simply as, “my Jewish brother.”

    There are many companies outside of the New York area. You can find a job in almost any city in the United States. While New York City has the most fortune 500 companies (72); Houston (49), Atlanta (22), Chicago (22), and Dallas (15) also have a large amount of fortune 500 companies. Most cities with a fortune 500 company have a Jewish community. (Think Denver, St. Louis, Detroit, Philly, Pittsburgh, L.A., Oakland – San Fran bay area, Seattle, Phoenix, Minneapolis, ect…)

    It all comes down to how willing you are to leave your comfort zone. Unless the reason is something personal, there really are not so many legit reasons to stay in the New York area if you can’t afford it. Out of New York you can get by with an income of 50k, in New York that it is a much more difficult task.

    in reply to: Vote third parties #1152322

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    CTLawyer – It would be better if there would be more people like you who think things through and make a thoughtful decision no matter which side you support. Personally I think that neither presidential candidate has a strong understanding of how the economy works.

    I have major issues with both candidates. Hillary is trying to say that one of her main triumphs is foreign policy, while she defiantly has the experience, President Obama may be worst at Foreign Policy (which Hillary has played a major role).

    Trump is too radical for me and is not very consistent with what he says. I have no idea what to make of him. I need more time to analyze the candidates to know who I will support in this one.

    There are 2 cases pending against Trump and the FBI is currently investigating Hillary. There may be different candidates representing each party. The one thing I have learned from the primary season is to not rule out any possibilities.

    In certain states the local elections will matter more than the presidential election. No matter who you support in the Presidential race don’t throw away your vote. Make an educated decision for each of the candidates in each race.

    in reply to: How can I find places to stay for shabbos? #1151600

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    Okiale as zahava said, look into NCSY. Also look into Bni Akiva, they have shabbatons. Make connections with people in those youth groups and stay with friends. Depending on the area you are in, there might be other organizations. Talk to your local Rabbi to find out if there other organizations that have shabbatons. I know Yachad has shabbatons for high schoolers (Yachad is an organization under the OU that promotes people interacting with special needs individuals. Yachad also has shabboatons for middle schoolers and communities.)

    I went away to a dorming MO Yeshiva for high school, I stayed at my classmates houses every 3rd week, sometimes more. Staying with friends is a great way to get out of your parents house for the weekend.

    147 – Theoretical question, if someone were to go spend a shabbos at your place, would the discussion be about different phrases and calendar dates? Are you secretly a baseball fan and talk about it all the time? What is a shabbos at your place like? Also can I be invited?

    in reply to: Building Torah In Cherry Hill – Be A Part Of It! #1142699

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    There is a Young Israel and another shul called Sons of Israel (both are Orthodox) there. There is also another Jewish school there called Politz Day School.

    There was Jewish life there before Foxman…

    in reply to: dates #1145360

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    Get to know each other. Talk about childhood and growing up. Favorite activities, music, food, ect…

    in reply to: Best Yeshiva for Modern Boys #1140382

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    I know many people who went to OJ. The kids that go there are mostly coming from MO backgrounds. Some of the kids are coming from co-ed highschools. HAFTR, HANC, MTA, DRS, JEC(RTMA), TABC are definatly MO highschools. The only feeder highschool that may not be MO is South Shore. I’d say this represents a mostly MO student population. And this is not counting the non NY highschools where students attended.

    The rabbis are not zionistic at all. For the last few years OJ has had at least 2/3 students stay for a second year. Many of those students continued to learn in other Yeshivas after their second year at OJ. They go to places like the Mir and, Beis, TOMO, and American Yeshivas like Shur Yashuv and Yeshiva Gedola of the 5 towns.

    My point is that OJ is a yeshiva that caters to MO kids and ‘flips them out’. Many MO yeshivas give a similar type of foundation for students. Each place has its own unique approach to how they do that. But their goals are all the same. They all want to teach Torah true values. And they try to accommodate different types of students to their own needs. There is no one size fits all approach to learning which makes it more important for there to be different styles of teaching to fit each persons’ skill set.

    in reply to: Rejecting after date #1139387

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    Most people will probably say that its the other gender. Each person will have a different personality. Boys and girls can both be picky.

    in reply to: If there is 1 thing i should bring to seminary, what should it be? #1149521

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    A full set of shas.

    in reply to: Best Yeshiva for Modern Boys #1140377

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    As Utah was saying there are many different Yeshivas and each one is good for different types of people. If you want I can list a lot of them.

    Joseph, I wouldn’t dismiss all the MO yeshivas just like that. A lot of them are run by Charedi rabbis. They just target different boys. A place like OJ (Ohr Yerushaliam) is run by Charedi rabbis. Almost every one of the rabbis is Charedi and the boys are pushed to continue learning in different yeshivas and if they have to go to college then to go to landers or a yeshiva during the day and college during the night.

    A Charedi place isn’t the best fit for everyone.

    in reply to: Will you still come over? #1140430

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    The question for me is not if I’d go over, it would be if I’d ever leave their pet dog. Dogs are awesome. Why would people stay away from them?

    in reply to: Favorite Brand Orange Juice #1139859

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    Tropicana Extra Pulp. It just tastes the best.

    in reply to: What's your go to nightime snack? #1193055

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    <—

    in reply to: Oorah Pet Raffle #1137257

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    Since when do Frum people not have dogs? Many of my friends growing up had one. For a while I had a German Shepard. I would assume that people in the New York area don’t have dogs because of living spaces are small and its hard to have a dog if you don’t have a yard outside.

    in reply to: Laundry #1142029

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    Follow these 7 easy steps and laundry will never trouble you again.

    1. Gather all the laundry into one giant pot.

    2. Put the pot into the oven.

    3. Forget about preheating that won’t make a difference. Fire up the oven to 450 degrees Celsius.

    4. For good measure add some paprika to the stove top. Enough to make people think that its more than just for show.

    5. Put on your Tailor made straight jacket. (You can find cheaper ones on the internet, but I suggest go scuba diving in the Arctic Ocean to find yours!)

    6. Await for someone to take you away.

    7. Never have to worry about laundry again.

    in reply to: People who can't shut up #1136601

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    147 – Does that include people who daven loudly?

    in reply to: Getting together #1137293

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    The shul I daven at hosts a superbowl party. Does that make us idolworshipers? Mashiach Agent, you can give your opinion. It doesn’t make it fact. Superbowl parties are not avodah zarah. Also you can’t say any one crisis is because of a specific reason. The economy crashing did not come about directly because of people worshiping money. Who are you to say that? No person alive is great enough to give reasons like that. From an economic standpoint the economy got much better and is not bad anymore, people may perceive it as bad, but it mostly recovered according to data.

    Can we get back to the drinking parties?

    If the other is referring to social engagements i.e. fraternizing with the opposite gender, wouldn’t that help solve the shiduch crisis?

    in reply to: seforim sale #1136094

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    I’ll be there but I won’t buy anything.

    in reply to: adhd #1135418

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    What a nice and thoughtful … Is that a squirrel?

    in reply to: anniversary outing #1174191

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    I’ll agree with The Goq. An Islanders game is a great place to go. Any other sports game would also be good. (Nets, Rangers, Knicks.)

    in reply to: music #1135377

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    David Draiman did a beautiful rendition of sound of silence.

    in reply to: Signs put up around BMG, Lakewood #1136812

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    This sounds like its coming from a Bernie Sanders supporter. Keep your socialism. Everyone doesn’t have to be the same.

    in reply to: Man taking a female coworker to lunch #1105232

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    Go out of your way and drive a third male driver so there won’t be a yichud issue

    in reply to: best high school in the 5 towns/far rockaway #1208997

    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    HAFTR and DRS have pretty good basketball teams if that is the sole deciding factor. Personally I would send your son to Rambam.

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