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I don’t care at all if someone posts under different names – UNLESS…. the purpose of doing so is to make it appear erroneously that lots of people agree with his post, when in fact he is simply agreeing with himself. That is kind of gneivas daas-y, and I don’t believe Joseph would do that, even if I almost never agreed with him.
You should see them puffing away at seven eleven motzei shabbos…. “
Funny you should mention that. I live near a bagel place that is connected to a 7/11 by one wall. Every time I go to the bagel place it REEKS from stale cigarettes. I have never sen anyone smoking there. I chanced to go into the 7/11 to buy a paper, and immediately realized where the stench came from. Even if smoking did not kill (but it DOES), and even if it were not expensive (might as well light a match to your paycheck), it MAKES THE SMOKER STINK.
One every morning, and I usually make it myself with a Melitta filter. I cannot, repeat cannot drink instant anymore.
You may shop where you want. Going to a store is not like making a neder. If you sign a contract, however, that might be binding (though there is a legal three day “regret” clause on most purchases over a certain cost). Why shouldn’t someone be able to get a better price? Why shouldn;t someone help a fellow Jew to save money – maybe the money saved can potentially go into Tzedaka!Personally, I would mention to the store owner that I know the price is such and such down the block, and see if he REALLY wants to make the sale and is willing to match the lower price for me. You are under no obligation to buy ANYWHERE. And even when you buy, you are not always obliged to keep the item.
When someone asks me what’s up, I usually answer, My blood pressure!
Ooomis, at the time these shows were made, there was a rule about “twin beds” and always keeping one foot on the floor.
“
Yes, and the word “pregnant” could not be used. A married woman was always either “with child” or “in a delicate condition.”
Ya know what? That was not such a bad idea. There was a certain innocence then.
Did some shoveling. Gave up after three shovelsful. Tried again. Went back inside and made LOTS of hot cocoa (from scratch, btw), telling myself I had EARNED it. Started to go out to try to shovel again, then reminded myself I am not 15 anymore (or even 35) and that the snow really isn’t THAT bad, and it’s really pretty…Decided to take a nap instead.
It actually sounded interesting to me, though i would prefer to know what the proportions should be for the sauce.
Someone please explain what being Sephardic or Ashkenaz has to do with anything?”
If by “anything” you mean shidduchim, the only relevance is that some sephardic and some ashkenazic minhagim differ greatly (most notably at Pesach time), and that might bother some people, especially if an ashkenazic girl marries a sephardic boy and must take on his minhagim of eating kitniyos.
There are also some social/cultural differences, I have noticed in some friends, but that is still up to the parties involved to see if it will be an issue for them. Some of those differences are more of an issue than others. Many people embrace these differences and very successfully blend the two cultures.
A broken home is one in which the parents no longer live in it together. they could be divorced or only separated, but if mother and father choose to live apart from each other, the home is broken.
A girl or boy from such a home is not considered “second class” as you put it, BUT that being said, many people are leery of shidduchim where the boy or girl may have observed some very unpleasant interactions between the parents, as they were growing up, which could impact on their ideas of how home life should be conducted.
I would think that giving an engagement ring is not the same, because there is no kavanah that this is a kiddushin, only an engagement.
Gabboim – you miss the point. It’s not what they said, it’s the fact that they feel the need to say it.
The word was “DUMMY.”
Yasher Koach, Bein hasedorim. LOL
Shticky Guy, no offense was taken. Well, Joseph might have been offended by being mistaken for me…
“can someone please tell me who this joseph is?!? i feel so lost”
Cofeefan, Joseph used to frequent the CR under his name, and we suspect, a number of other names. He is characterized by a strong desire to bring disagreement for its own sake, to an art form, in his Kana-us for his perception of kovod haTorah. Though at times I have believed him to be a troll who merely like to stir up the pot and then sit back and watcxh the rest of us scurry around, he actually seemed sincere much of the time, and I will give him that. I just do not happen to like when posters try to provoke people, for provocation’s own sake, rather than in order to have intelligent discourse. But he has made valid points on an occasion or two, and I strongly suspect he is either Cedarhurst, TMB or both. He always reincarnates himself, when people get too upset with him – that is my belief.
OMG Oomis- we must be related”
Kol Yisrael areivim seh lazeh – and it would be my privilege…
“oomis- is an 85 yr old lady that makes cookies for her grandchildren that they pretend to like. She wears a black long hairesd shaitel bc she still thinks shes 35”
Thank you for that bracha — I have a LONG way to go before I get to that age, and sincerely hope to reach it. My grandchildren LOVE, LOVE, LOVE anything I bake for them, and especially my cookies, because I always ask them to help me bake them.
As I am not Morticia Adams or lily Munster, I do not sport a long black shaitel, but rather, a short tapered, dark-brown one. My knees tell me all too painfully that I am no longer 35, even were I foolish and vain enough to still think so. 🙂
I am a petite girl in my 20s. But I pretend to be a man because of my dis-associative identity disorder.”
Now THAT seems accurate!!!!
I am one of the (I am afraid to admit this) people who did NOT like The Honeymooners. I was deathly afraid of Ralph Kramden and his constant screaming, his bug-eyed wiln looks, and his threats to punch someone (he ALWAYS looked that way).
Today, there is virtually no such thing as a clean comedy that is totally clean. There is always some inuendo and double entendre, And that’s a pity, because Lucy made us laugh for decades and still does. In more recent years, The Nanny was a similar kind of funny lady, but there was still some inappropriate stuff, by most frum standards.
Oh come on — REALLY???!!!!!!??? Not THIS thread again. If you really want to know, it looks bummy to smoke, because many guys (and worse, GIRLS) who smoke, start because they want to rebel. The people with whom they choose to rebel, are often smokers, drinkers, and OTD in many ways, and the smoking reinforces that image. I cannot for the life of me understand on what basis the rabbonim in Yeshivah allow boys to smoke in the Beis Midrash, especially when they are learning the same Torah that tells them to guard their health.
There were many bullies in the Torah, starting with Cain. It’s a classic case of someone who feels inadequate in some way, trying to have power of someone he perceives to be weaker, in order to make himself feel better.
Bjjkid, for most of us, if a shadchan is needed to propose for the boy, he is too much of a boy and not enough of a man yet, to be getting married. there is nothing goyish about proposing. My son in law took my daughter to the Vanderbilt Museum to see the planetarium. It was very romantic seeing all those stars. After the show, he took her to a beautiful spot on the grounds, where he had roses and some other things he’d set up waiting for them, and proposed to her. Please do not try to lessen the impact of that beautiful and unforgettable moment for her, by saying you think it was “goyish.” By all means live your life differently if you so desire, but don’t cast a negative pall on it, just because you don’t feel it’s a Jewish thing to do. By the way, it is a very Jewish thing – I am sure Shlomo Hamelech would have had something to say about it. He wrote very romantically in Shir Hashirim, and even though we say it was an allegory of the loving relationship between Hashem and Am Yisroel, nevertheless the terminology which he uses proves that he had a very romantic soul.
“I think WIY, TMB, oomis1105… Joseph”
REALLY? What about MY posts suggests Joseph to you? (The first two, I could see as a possibility).
I once started to hiccup and then laugh in shul during the amidah on Yom Kippur. I was a about 10-11 years old and MORTIFIED that I could not stop hiccuping or laughing. Neither could I get out of the row, and leave the room, as everyone was davening. That, and not the bombing of Pearl Harbor, is the Day that Will Go Down in Infamy. At least in my family.
Eclipse, I think you are absolutely correct. None of us is at our best when sleep-deprived.
…I feel like the biggest goy by saying this but it’s a little uncomfortable….”
It CAN be uncomfortable. Why feel like the biggest ANYTHING, for simply expressing an honest view? There are many things we do l’shem mitzvah that may not be comfortable, i.e. sitting in the sukkah in cold weather. There is no aveira in saying you are feeling COLD. AS long as you do what you are supposed to do, you get the s’char mitzvah. Anyone can do a mitzvah when it is easy. the one who does it even when it is NOT easy, gets some extras brownie points. If you really feel uncomfortable, find a more comfy way to cover your hair. That is also perfectly ok.
“Wow! such great news.
To oomis and her crews.
Lots of hatzlacha.
On this beautiful bracha.
A wonderful addition to the Jews.
Not quite a limerick, but a nice sentiment. “
So nice of you. THANKS!
I killed the monster last night and the smell of decomposing flesh is overwhelming. “
That is a classic.
My eyes are too sleepy to sleep, is one my grandson has used.
“Oomis, for a while I thought I knew who you were but I turned out to be wrong. I see you as being a bit taller than average, average weight, dirty blonde & a nice, genuine smile. “
Sorry, the physical description is off, but yes, my smile is very genuine.
CRDL, you were not too far off. I am somewhat short, wear glasses, have dark straight hair, look NOTHING like Mrs. Weasely, but DO make awfully good pastries, and yes, I love to have company all the time. FTR, I do NOT dress like anyone’s (older) Bubby or mother, neither am I a fashion hound. I wear caps more than snoods (no tichels at all), and a shaitel on Shabbos and YT, not usually a hat. Above all, if you were to meet me, you would hopefully come away thinking, “Wow, she’s a sincerely friendly and warm person,” because that is way more important than how we look, even if we look nice. I tend to think of Aries similarly, but get the feeling she has medium brown hair and is on the taller side with a warm smile.
In truth, I try very hard NOT to picture anyone here. It maintains the anonymity.
” tro11,”
Did I misread your name, or did you deliberately (slyly and humorously) allude to being a TROLL on this site? (Not trying to be abrasive here, just found it a curious combo of letters and numbers).
When someone has overstayed his welcome…. What’s your hurry – here’s your hat.
“OOmis – I haven’t addressed you in a long time, but since when is it now taboo for an older guy to try and get a date with a younger woman? In my opinion, it’s polite to say to the guy -“No thank you”. This is the preferred torah way. Instead of detesting other Jews, it’s more polite to say no and not be Oiver “Lo sisna”. They wouldn’t be so disgusted if they immediately let the other party know the score. They wouldn’t bottle up their bad feelings. It would bother them a second with a “Eew”, and then they would forget about it. Your definition of being polite, only causes the male to keep trying, and then this causes the female to build up more resentment. “
Health, it is not taboo (yet would not the reverse be taboo, that of an older FEMALE of that age, dating a very much younger guy?), but it nevertheless is awkward. The guy comes of as a predator, if the girl is really much younger. It is simply inappropriate for a 40 year old to go after a 25 year old. and when it happened to my friend’s daughter, she could not get rid of the guy, who to his credit, was a pleasant enough fellow, but did not accept that he was making her very uncomfortable. She didn’t want to hurt his feelings or be rude, but he really followed her around. This made her feel very eckled.
It is not so easy for a girl to say outright to someone to please stop following her because he is not the right age for her. It’s also why I personally think that singles events should stick strictly to an age limit within five years of the oldest female present. Once the female are in the mid-late thirties or more, there is no shaychus to them being in a singles event with girls in their mid twenties to 30 or 31. And if divorced/widowed fellows are present (and should be), the age should be appropriate.
You may disagree, Health, and I get that you do, but a normal mid 20’s girl will likely feel that a guy 15 years older who is pursuing her, is a bit creepy. The guys also cannot seem to accept that they are not so desirable to that much younger demographic. they need to accept and act their age, which is still young, by all means, but not as young as they seem to think they are. Nothing is taboo (except what Hashem says is taboo), but such guys look extremely socially awkward, and they would do far better to go for more realistic shidduchim with older women than the ones they are scouting out.
One woman refused to take on her husband’s last name, citing the fact that she wanted her own name, not that of another man. But, she was reminded, her own last name was her FATHER’S last name. That ended the discussion.
Yes, but I would not DARE to post my description, because I am notoriously bad at this type of thing. Not one blind date that I had EVER even remotely resembled my image (and the image was not necessarily of someone tall, dark, and handsome, either). I always thought I could tell from someone’s voice what he or she probably looked like, and I was wrong 9/10 times. I am talking about such details as tall/short, dark or fair-haired. I cold however, tell one thing, and that is whether or not the person was a genuine smiler. You can “hear” a real smile over the phone, if you are really listening.
B”DE. I am so sorry for the pain you and your family are going through now. May Hashem comfort all of you, and bring much simcha into your life from now on. H”YE…
I fahrgin everyone everything. I am not a jealous person by nature and wish well for all people. I ALSO wish that they would likewise wish the same for my family and me. Can you imagine if hashem granted everyone’s good wishes for each other? What a world!
“I think WIY, TMB and Joseph are all one in the same.”
Sounds plausible to me.
Divorced guy – if you are 36, I sincerely hope you are not trying to date girls in their early-mid twenties. And just to let you know, many girls, aged 25-28, whom I know personally, who go to Singles events, DETEST it when divorced guys in the 36-40 group hit on them. They are too polite to say, “go away and pick on someone your own age,” but that is exactly what they are thinking. It totally creeps them out that a guy that much older than they, is trying to get their number.
Cutting is usually without signalling, passing too closely by in the process, thus preventing you from doing what you were about to do. It can result in an accident, and ALWAYS results in the one getting cut off getting varying degrees of road rage.
L’kaf zchus, it IS possible to cut someone off and be unaware that you did so. But only once in a while. If you are cutting someone off inan obvious way, or they, you, it was deliberate, thoughtless, and provocative.
IMO, if you already have had yourself tested by DY, you may as well check out the compatibility of the two parties’ numbers BEFORE they meet. I will admit that my daughter and son-in-law did not it that way,they checked after a couple of dates, and B”H were “compatible,” but they took a huge risk, as they were already invested emotionally with each other, and it would have been devastating to them to be told, “not compatible,” at that point.
DY, btw, does not check for certain conditions that are genetic but not life-threatening, and which could still have devastating ramifications on the couple, should their children inherit the gene from them.
We are getting involved in areas having nothing to do with the OP. The statment was implied that this poster DOES eat in the homes of the people whom he does not wish to bring food into the OP’s home. That makes zero sense. That’s like eating a tuna sandwich in your local kosher bagel place, but not bringing it home. If you have no qualms about eating out in that home, you should not be hesitant about the food coming into your home. Same food, same cook, same baal habayis.
V’Ahavta l’Rayacha Kamocha, is a good enough reason. Hashem also said it is not good for a man to be alone. If marriage were ONLY for the sake of pru u’rvu, then barren people, old people, people who have spinal cord injuries that preclude their being able to have a child, women who have had hysterectomies, etc. etc. would be halachically barred from marriage. As we know this is not the case, there is no reason why two senior citizens who have been lucky to find love the second time around, cannot marry and have a wonderful life together in their golden years.
At one time, no one ever ate tomatoes, because they thought them to be poisonous. They actually are related to the “Deadly Nightshade,” family, I believe, and that is where the fear arose.
Forgive me if I am out of line, but…
sorry until i see consistent medical proof that smoking directly kills i don’t see the big deal health wise,if were talking about the smell bothering is something else. but 2 break a shidduch for that seems stupid to me.”
Either you have been sequestered in a Beis Medrash that did not allow you access to a newspaper, radio, or human contact with a medical facility, or you are just a stubborn, rationalizing smoker. NO ONE intelligent would argue the first words of your sentence. Only someone who is so addicted to his cancer sticks that he refuses to face his eventual GREAT probability of developing lung, throat, stomach, bladder, or some other smoke-related cancer, or emphysema (of which my dear uncle, O”H died, quite painfully, after years of suffering attached to an an oxygen tank, as his family suffered with him).
Now let’s talk about the “smell” you mentioned. You are used to it, but anyone who smokes, STINKS. He stinks, his clothes stink, his house stinks, his car (we had to rent a car this week and the stench was pervasive from the previous renter), his body and most especially, his mouth. It is very unpleasant to try to have a conversation with a smoker EVEN IF HE IS NOT SMOKING AT THE TIME!
I am not even going to discuss the issue of second-hand smoke, which has killed innocent people who never picked up a cigarette in their lives, including small babies who lived with smokers and had respiratory infection after respiratory infection.
Try to keep telling yourself that you are right and the rest of the world is wrong; that is typical of a smoker. Keep ignoring the facts, and most especially keep writing what you wrote about “seeing consistent proof.” The only way you can possibly not have seen such proof, is that you close your eyes whenever the reports are sitting in front of you. You ought to visit a cancer ward and see the patients who have lung cancer. I doubt you ever will though. It might just make you quit smoking, something which you clearly do not want to do, even though you are killing yourself and hurting your family and friends who love you.
BTW, not directed specifically at you: Anyone who dares to compare smoking to obesity, is grasping at straws. Unquestionably obesity is a health problem for many people. But unless an overweight person is feeding the same garbage to the children, they will not “catch” anything potentially lethal from her. Smokers, however, potentially can cause cancer to develop in people in their home who do not smoke. This is fact.
So no, I would never allow (nor would they want to) my daughters to date “occasional” smokers, much less smokers who are into it. Promising to give it up for ” the right girl,” is no promise at all, and actually is quite insulting when you think about it.
Jose, are you implying that an asai and lo taaseh are not equally important?
Boys should not LOOK for less, they should be more realistic in what constitutes a girl who can be attractive to them. They need to focus less on certain externals (which change with time, as do they), and more on the inner beauty alongside the outer.
Dunno, in rare cases a big age gap works. Nowadays, it causes more problems than it’s worth, and guys who are older should not specifically be looking at girls so much younger. Yes there are very mature girls, but no 20 year old girl is generally going to be emotionally mature enough for a guy 10 years older (notwith-standing the Steipler or Chazon Is ZT”L, who lived in a very different time than that of today’s youth). Even 4 years AT THIS POINT can be a real issue, and I would have to question the maturity of the BOY.
26-ers, stick with girls closer to your own age. Certainly not younger than 22 or 23 years old. Leave the younger girls to the much younger guys. What Aries said is absolutely true.
GUYS GETTING WHAT THEY WANT? Since when is what they think they want what they should be looking for? Guys look for sizes, not girls. Guys look for pretty hair and face, not what is under the hair and behind the pretty face. Guys want a trophy, and not a prize. Guys have to start rethinking their priorities and wants, over what is truly right for them. Girls do, too, they are not exempt from shallow expectations. But until both sides grow up and get real, there will be a shidduch crisis.
Guess what, if smoking physically destroys you, your neshama leaves your body. Since you did it to yourself and failed to follow “v’nishmartem meod es nasfshoseichem” it is possible you have detroyed the neshama too, especially if you caused harm to other people with your second-hand smoke.