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Blot off most of the oil. Cheese, tomato sauce, enriched weat – what could be bad?
Derech Hamelech – It’s true Eliahu Hanavi went up in a chariot of fire, which could possibly be interpreted as a UFO. Did Hashem not also say He would bring Jews from Galus to E”Y “al kanfei nesharim” (the wings of eagles), and did not the mass emigration of Jews to E”Y (most notably from Ethiopia) look exactly like they were flying on the wings of a giant eagle? We do not need to always be literal, but understand the poetry, as well.
If the editor wants to contact me, he or she has my contact info. I replied to the request, have not heard back, now let’s leave it at that, folks. The ball is in another court now.
Boy, did I ever misread this one. I thought you were asking if (we ladies) miss the fact that we do not wear tefillin. To which I was about to reply, I have enough to keep me busy with the mitzvos Hashem already gave me, thanks.
I have not got a clue!! I e-mailed the YWN editor, but never heard back as yet. It would be nice if it’s about a shidduch and nicer still, if it would be a SHAYACH shidduch. Editors???? Haifagirl?????
Fear of large wild Yiddish cats?
pba: #1 even half a fly is assur. See Yad Yehuda 104 that even the Shach is not meikil on something that can be seen after great tircha and removed.”
Honestly, whatever the halacha says, I would throw the entire pot out, If I knew even a tiny piece of a bug was in my food, I would never be able to eat it, even if it was ENTIRELY removed. I once had a really yummy tuna sandwich on my desk at work. I was about to pick it up, when a cockroach merely walked past it (NEVER touched it at all). I could not bring myself to take a bite.
Burberry is yummy. I do not own it, myself, though.
Flowers, I have seen that excellent piece before. Whoever wrote it was right on target. Aries – AMAZING, no? Kids come to realize they need us moms a lot more than they think. When carpool rears its ugly head, THAT’S when it hits them.
I am saddened to hear someone planning to send their child to public school for financial reasons. That SHOULD NEVER be allowed to happen, and it’s a pity on all of us for not yet finding a solution to this problem to making it easier for ALL Jews to send their kids to yeshiva.
MS Critique – I am sorry for your loss, as well. May your sister’s neshama have an aliyah.
I think it is easier for some female professionals to retain the name under which they were licensed if they were not married at the time. What I find odd is the woman who refuses to take her husband’s name because she feels it is oppressive to take the name of a male, when in fact her maiden name is her FATHER’S name (and if she went by her mother’s maiden name, that would be her maternal GRANDfather’s name). We just can’t win. I personally was very proud and happy to take my husband’s last name.
Haifa girl, WHEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was starting to pack to run for the hills.
Aries, my mom also does not really come to me. I have seen her in dreams, knowing she has passed, and she only smiles at me. Once, she told me she loves me in response to my telling her how much I miss her. Wow, I can’t type this without tearing up. I totally get what you mean. Sometimes, especially when I bensch licht for Yom Tov, I feel that need to see her. we spent every yom tov together, and her hands were always next to mine as we lit candles.
I am so sorry, Mazal77 to hear of your loss.
“So you think Rabi Akiva was wrong?”
” Amusing you should choose this example. R’ Akiva took no money from either his shver or father. You did omit other examples, such as all the shoemakers, butchers, and wine merchants in the g’mora.”
Very few boys are likely to be a R’ Akiva and we all know it. His shver not only did not support his learning, but he disinherited his daughter for marrying him (regretted it later on, when he saw what his aidem had become). I believe R’ Akiva’s father was not a Jew, though I could be mistaken about that, but if I am correct, there was no parnassah coming from him, either. And the point I would like to make is R’ Yochanan was a shoemaker, Rabbi Yehuda Hanasi was a business man, and many other Gedolim made their own parnassah WHILE learning also. ALL boys should be encouraged by their rebbeim to work and learn. This way Hashem AND their wives will be happy. It worked for my dad O”H, who was an outstanding Talmid Chochom, always was asked to give shiurim. His knowledge of both Torah AND secular studies was phenomenal. A boy who is smart enough to sit and learn, is smart enough to sit and learn PART of the day and learn a trade the rest of the day. In fact the Gemarah says that a man who does not teach his son a trade, teaches him to be a goniff (or something bad like that).
refuah shelaima. Poor little kid. Kaf gimmel and Kuf lamed
No.
Turkey (that reminds me, it’s suppertime)
If you want to consider the dream I had of my father O”H during the shabbos of our shiva week for him, I have told this over in the CR before, so I won’t go into the details again, but each one of my siblings, my mom, and I had the identical dream that shabbos afternoon, in which my dad’s neshama came to us, telling us the exact same thing, in the exact same way and choice of words. It was not a generic conversation, but most specific. Rabbonim who came to be menacheim aveil told us we had received an incredible matana to have him speak to us all in that way.
I would gladly do so, if I knew how. Editor?????
(Am I in trouble again????)
I might have seen something that could qualify as that, but I was a very little girl and woke up in the middle of the night from a bad dream. And when I woke up, the “thing” that was in my dream was standing at my door.It looked see-through and just stood there. I was fully awake, started to scream for my daddy, who came running, and as soon as he got to my door, he ran right through the apparition and it disappeared. I never forgot this.
Boruch Dayan HaEmes. I am so sorry for your loss. Your best move is of course to ask your LOR, but before you reach him, the laws of aveilus apply only after the kevurah. Until then, your thoughts are to be occupied with making plans for the levaya. So no brochos or davening, etc. You may shower before the levaya, and don’t change your shoes to non-leather until after the kevurah. As to music, ask the rov, but perhaps you can find something else equally soothing (like a sound machine or a fan) that can lull you to sleep. I did not listen to music for the year and a half (my parents’ deaths overlapped)of my aveilus. For someone whose PARNASSAH is music, there are exceptions.
I am 28 any guy that you would consider to marry even if he started to learn after marriage would be working by my age so whats the difference? “
EXCELLENT point. I actually tried to redt a shidduch between a very sweet, good-looking, and aidel guy and a lovley girl who is known to a member of my family. Both parties had been married to other people for a short period of time each, got divorced and then have not married for many years. He looks a GREAT deal younger than his actual age. Why did the shidduch not go anywhere?
Because, though the fellow is very sweet, nice looking, and balabatish, and he has a decent job, at his age of close to forty (he looks half that), he wants to sit and learn after he gets married (again). At thirty-plus, the young lady has no desire for a husband to be in kollel at this stage of her life.
Guys AND girls have to be realistic, even in the kollel circles.
Sof davar, there are MANY children who come into this world and have no father, i.e. he died in the army or in an accident, became ill and died, or the parents divorced. While it may not be an ideal situation, if the mother has a close supportive network, her children will never lack for love.
As to stigma – only mean spirited people would stigmatize such a child. This is not the Dark Ages. Not everyone can or wants to adopt. If a woman has a biological urge to reproduce if possible, who are we to deny her that? yes, there are kids who need foster homes, but that is not up to us to decide for someone else.
I PROPOSE, Support be mandatory EQUAL among both sides. (Let the boys father see if his son is worth it.)( i mean gender equality, if one side can afford more- kol hakovod)”
I propose that it be mandatory for ALL men to support their families and learn in their free time. I further propose that parents who struggled to put food on their table while bringing up their kids, be able to finally relax, go to E”Y for a visit if they want, go to a hotel, travel, sightsee, have enough money to take care of themselves, for a change. I propose that the young couples grow up and stop expecting mommy and tatty to be responsible for them, as they are now adults. Otherwise, they are just playing house.
Just be happy a yid is wearing a yarmulke and stop assigning levels upward or downward to the material from which it is made.
So now we know you’re not Marvin Gaye. “
Uh…that would be Dion, I believe.
Always Runs – good mom. I totally agreed with your entire post.
It’s commission of a fraud.
I personally know someone who has done this. Twice. With the haskama of rabbonim in E”Y.
She didn’t believe she would ever get married (she was around 40), and she wanted children, but she also is frum and would not consider anything that was “nisht kosher.” She asked a shailah of Daas Torah, was told there is no issur, and with a non-Jewish donor in a fertility clinic there was no potential inyan of her children chalilah marrying their own siblings by accident someday. Some years after having both children, she actually met someone and got married a couple of years ago, but too old to have more children at that point. The issur is l’chatchilah to marry a non-Jew, but b’dieved the child born of such a union (if the mom is Jewish), is also Jewish, and there is no taint of mamzerus. Osnat bore a child by Shechem, and that child was married to Yosef.
The bearing of a child out of wedlock, is typically stigmatized because of the non-tzniusdig actions of the mother and father that led to the pregnancy. If no such activity took place, there were no violations of the laws of tznius or taharas hamishpacha.
I am not in Brooklyn.
Folks, I see here a basic misunderstanding of Ma’ares Eyin. The inyan isn’t to appear to do something assur that others will think ill of you, it’s appearing to do something assur that others might think may be nuttar.”
Both are aspects of the same inyan. Some people will see you go into a treif restaurant and think you are eating there. Others will see a heilige yid walking into that restaurant and think, “WOW! McDonald’s must be KOSHER now!” Both reflect the ramifications of maris ayin.
Almost sounds like Pac-man is AZ.
Mareet ayin — the APPEARANCE of wrongdoing, even when no wrongdoing was committed. Like walking into a McDonald’s to use the bathroom, and being seen by frum people you know, who are walking by. THEY don’t know why you are there. They only see you coming out of a McDonald’s. (And here’s a lesson on being dan l’kaf zechus).
Amnon’s is good. Where can one buy Mendelsohn’s?
Absolutely. Oomis is a deliberate affectionate mispronunciation of “Ema,” which is what my kids normally call me. My son gave me the nickname oomis, when he became involved with his then girlfiend, now wife. He called her by a pet name Voovis and began calling all of us an oo-is variation of our names, as well. So, i.e. Abba became Oobis, Reuvein would be Roovis, Shimon, Shoovis, Levi Loovis, etc.
Yid,period, you’re absolutely correct. I regard them highly.
That’s what the delete button is for. Good rule of thumb – NEVER open an e-mail from unknown sources. It could be a virus.
The choshuveh Mohel my son used six months ago has a going rate of $700-800. Technically it is not called a fee but a “gift.” I had a mohel respond to my query as to what we owed him for my son’s bris 25 years ago, that he wanted it to be his gift to us. This was in contrast to another mohel that we used with my older son, because this one was in E”Y when I gave birth, who intimated he gets about $200 per milah (32 years ago). We paid as expected.
Terrace on the Park IS nice as is Marina del Rey, if you don’t want to travel too far.
A top boy is one whose internal middos and external behavior match. He learns Torah because he loves learning, and is not just bench warming at the Beis Medrash. If he is REALLY top, he is also making a real plan for the future that recognizes the need to take care of his own business and not be dependent on others for that. That’s my opinion, even if it conflicts with others’ views.
For the mazel of her kids, she should take care of it ASAP. I don’t usually believe in such stuff, but I have heard too many stories of married couples who were childless for no apparent reason, or who experienced one disaster after another, until a rov advised the parents to think back if they paid the shadchanus (they had not, in each case). When the shadchanus was finally paid after many years, and mechilah asked of the shadchanim, the situations improved dramatically.
Now maybe these were all “bubbah meises” that made the rounds, but there is always a grain of truth even in a meiseh. if Halacha dictates that shadchanus must be paid, it seems to make sense that something might shter the couple’s mazel, if it was not done. I am not a supersititious persohn by nature, but we do not know EVERYTHING or even ANYTHING of Hashem’s cheshbonos.
Halacha – a Rov and only a Rov
If the matter is of a sensitive nature, I don’t think for one minute that the fact that a woman is married to a Rov necessarily endows her with special powers that make her a logical choice to turn to. I would seek out a woman whose judgment I respect, or a professional who deals with such issues.
I am more comfortable speaking with women, so I would probably talk to a ftum female Social Worker or the like. That does not mean that the rebbetzin would NOT have good advice, but being a rebbetzin is no guarantee that she knows what she is talking about. I am also not sure I would want a local rebbetzin knowing my personal business.
The SMARTEST people are those who have learned how to combine sincere Torah learning WITH earning a parnassah.
Maybe I am too old for this forum, but I absolutely did not GET what the question was. What mareet ayin do you mean? What has a little girls’ class got to do with coming to shul late? Do you mean mincha/Maariv? There are a million minyanim. Find a later one. What was wrong with giving a girl’s class? Please explain. THis made no sense to me. Maybe I am getting that Old Timer’s disease.
On principle, if you go, you should give at least a TOKEN gift of some type. Go into Amazing Savings and buy a candy dish or cake plate for $5-10, for goodness sake. It will not cost much. I would never, even if poverty stricken (and I have been, at times),walk into a simcha empty-handed. Some people even give a gift when they could not attend (but I think you can fudge on that one, if you are financially challenged).
Posters are also correct that contributing to Sheva Brachos or a limo (a new shtick these days, G-d knows why), or being part of a group gift of some other type, are all viable ways to participate without emptying your wallet too badly.
‘lishkol’ in hebrew means to weigh. Possibly related to the word ‘scale’?What about ‘rogil’ and ‘regular’? “
Absolutely correct!!!
“???????-mysteries “
Also correct.
The US is a free country, but that doesn’t give people license to do WHATEVER they want. I have absolutely zero problem with gay couples having a commitment ceremony that legally binds them and affords them mutal legal protection under our country’s Constitution. But I absolutely DO object to that union being called a “marriage.” Call it Domestic Union, Spousehood, or some such creative nomenclature. But keep marriage sacred to those who may legally be called either husband or wife. What will be next, people who want to marry their hamster?
I tend to say go for it if you are still interested, but there are still some factors to consider. I.E., did the person say no because they think something “better” was out there and you are the default shidduch? Were they not ready when you first dated, but now feel more serious about the shidduch process? And so on…
I don’t get any of this. If A shadchan was kind enough (paying basis or not) to help my child find the person he or she married, not only would they be paid SOME form of shadchanus, but they would have a seat of honor at the simcha! How could the mother not notice the shadchan was not at the wedding????????