oomis

Absolutely not. I don’t eat matzah much during the year (except for the few weeks AFTER Pesach when I still have lotsa matzah), but I bedavka will not eat it after Purim.

This was a big Chillul Hashem IMO, and these boys could be prosecuted potentially for malicious mischief and defacing property. Moreover, they are on camera! No deniability. We do not live in a country where one gets to pick and choose which civil laws to follow without repercussions. They had to be looking up PRETTY high to see this ad, and it was not like the women pictured were wearing undergarments (and even if they HAD been, there is a right way and a wrong way to go about expressing your feelings). Don’t shop in H and M and let them know why, and they will soon get the message.

there was a far worse situation going on along Rockaway Boulevard parallel to JFK. A “Gentlemen’s Club” (whose clientelle were anything BUT gentlemen) had three separate HUGE posters of a woman barely wearing anything, posted so that it was unavoidable to see them. A civic minded group comprised of frum Jews and the locals who were not Jewish but were outraged,successfully got this place closed down on legal grounds, and the pictures were then blacked out. It took a while, but the aqueaky wheel does eventually get greased.

There is no question even in the non-Jewish mind, that pictures of barely dressed women should not be visible in a public place where children pass by. But NOT all people agree that pictures of women wearing slacks or short-sleeved shirts are untzniusdig. And in that case, keep your eyes away from the pictures of things that you can potentially see on any street in NY at any time.

You have the right NOT to expect to see bikini-clad women in giant size posters, especially as it is a traffic hazard. But the pants are another issue entirely. I personally do not wear that type of attire nor do my daughters, but it is reasonable (and considered to be modest)attire for the non-Jewish velt, and HELLO – we live in a non-Jewish velt, whether we like it or not, and have their standards with which to contend. The people involved in this event erred IMO, in their kana-us (I give them the kaf zechus, here, because they might just have been out and out vandals). In any case, they were wrong, especially as the best way to effect a change is to hit someone in the wallet.

Wow, this is a really hot-button issue. I can try to understand your point EH, but I think you are wrong about one specific thing. Being older DOES sometimes give people a pass in regards to many things. Being very, very young ALSO gives some children a pass on their behavior some of the time, but one would hope their parents are teaching them better manners and menschlechkeit.

I think you were mistaken in making the mountain out of this story, when your daughter and you could have moved over one seat to accommodate an older woman. Instead, you showed your daughter how two women can bully each other. SHUL is not the place to prove you are right.

Binayeseirah answered you very well. And so did Aries.

I have to say I am very much surprised that on a forum that is constantly ragging on the lack of tznius as the cause of all the ills of the world, that so many of the posters here don’t seem to recognize that it is the lack of menschlechkeit is the main problem. Whether or not the older woman was right is not the issue. The issue is how EH reacted to her and worse, what she did with her daughter. And the fact that ANYONE here has defended what prompted that action, really shocks me. What do we get with an “I’ll show HER!” attitude? We are supposed to be better than that. If someone acts like a bulvan, there are only a few circumstances where one should not be mevater. Acting out in front of one’s child is not the best way to solve a problem. And coming to shul an hour and half early on Shabbos, in order to get a seat for something going on AFTER Shabbos, is also not 100% the right thing to do, especially if you are using that as the excuse that the seat was saved for the child who was sitting there for that length of time prior to the leining.

In any case, I can understand EH feeling the way she did, but I think the situation could have been handled differently, and in this particular case, given there was another space for her daughter to sit, it would have been better in this instance not to make a spectacle in shul.

Yes. I am pretty sure my Rov holds that your minhag or the p’sak that you follow doesn’t necessarily override the p’sak someone else follows from a reliable rov. I would ask my Rov, but I am 99%certain it would be ok. Ask the shailah.

On Pesach, though I have never done this, I learned that an Ashkenazi may eat food prepared by a Sefardi in sefardic pots and pans, as long as the food contains no kitniyos.

I am clueless here. And FTR, “gross” is in the mind of the thinker. Some people here think it is gross for a boy to call a girl by her name. So without knowing what Kapusta referred to, I cannot make an informed judgment.

Did I miss something???? Since when is calling someone by her first name something to be discussed on this forum? In ancient times NO one had a last name. By what do you think people called each other? Now if you meant to say they were being raucous and rowdy and calling out to these girls in a drunken,suggestive manner… that I would agree with as being terrible. But just saying their names? Clearly they know them well enough to know their first names. What ELSE were they saying and doing????

I am not reading through all the responses yet, because I wanted to put in my own two cents. I am very close to the age group of that woman, and speaking strictly as an older person, I think you might have been right in terms of “you got there first and specifically told the woman that this was where your daughter was sitting.” HOWEVER – when you see you are dealing with an older person who is clearly NOT conforming to societal niceties, it is obvious there is something wrong with her thinking, especially if she did everything exactly as you described. You had a golden opportunity offered to you to teach your daughter about derech eretz for the older person, even when that older person does not act properly. Perhaps it was physically uncomfortable for the woman to sit by the wall. I have orthopedic issues that make sitting in some positions for a long period of time, very problematic for me, so I always use aisle seats in shul. Or perhaps she was just an obnoxious, difficult woman. Either way, you missed the mark, IMO.

I think putting your daughter on the woman’s lap was extremely demeaning to your daughter and really an inappropriate response, to say the least. The two of you ladies were jockying for power,and you being the much younger, might have found some type of compromise, i.e., sitting in the middle, as someone else suggested. Sometimes you can win a battle and lose the war. I think this was one of those situations.

P.S. I just read through the other responses. Either Popa is yanking our chains, or he was bullied a lot once upon a time. Either way, Pops, your response IS over the top.

Watch Glenn Beck on You Tube. He says it all.

“oomis- the inspiration of the idea did come to me on Purim… Havent yet grown out of the Purim Spirit to decide if this is a tot wacky shpiel or a tot wacky idea that can be applied on a regular day.. :)) “

s2021 – :0)

Sorry fellow coffee roomers, I think it’s a great idea. EVERYONE should look out for everyone else for shidduchim. We do not know where a shidduch will come from or who it is who will be the shaliach for a shidduch. If there is any chance you can help each other, kol hakavod.

Wolf, I think you can tell by now that I am a fairly moderate type of person. You absolutely did the right thing. Period. If someone were to be offended by what you said, then they would be doubly wrong, first for talking sduring davening in the first place, and then for failing to accept mussar which is given in the right spirit.

YEah, and my 4 year old grandson told me, “Bubby, you are SO BIIIIIG!!!!!”

My wonderful daughter-in-law baked it. Isn’t it delicious?

chochmas isha bansa baisah.

ANYBODY would expect an employee who is actually GETTING paid, to take a break SOMETIME during a five-hour job. Kal V’chomer when you are doing the guy a favor and a chessed, he would have no less of an expectation of the same, and in fact, were he doing the proper thing, he would have ENSURED that you had taken a break.

More times than you could count? I was really lost in E”Y when I was 15 years old and going to visit my cousin in Natanya whom I had visited once before a few weeks earlier. That first time, my cousin picked me up by bus, and took me back to the apartment, a fifteen minute walk from the bus depot. The second time, I had no idea where to go and no one seemed to be able to help me. So I just started walking randomly, and finally came to a stop and spotted someone. I asked him how to get to my cousin’s street, explaining I was a little farblunjet, and he started to laugh. I had walked, you see, DIRECTLY to the block of my cousin’s apartment. The place was across the street (the street signs were not so visible to me). I said “THANK You, Hashem,” and was in the apartment in less than two minutes. I had a similar experience looking for the bus going home from the Central Bus Depot in Tel Aviv, while returning from Natanya and going back to Ramat Gan. That was the very first time in my life that I recognized hashgocha protis for what it truly is. I definitely felt that Hashem was watching out for me.

A mamin, you took the words out of my keyboard!!!! My mother O”H would have turned 84 this Sunday, were she still with us, and my Dad O”H’s birthday would have been on Purim. They both are gone 17 years. As much hakoras hatov as I had to them when they were alive, it was not even slightly proportionate to the good they did for me all my life,and which I first truly recognized when I became a parent.

100% certainly Avoseinu. What we call “Yaaleh V’Yavo,” starts with “Elokeinu v’Eilokei AVOSEINU…” making the latter, the third word.

I haven’t followed this story (don’t always get Mishpacha), but there is no happily ever after with most abusive men. She should get her divorce and then see if he gets his act together with the help of extensive therapy and counseling. If he can prove to her that he truly has changed, they can remarry, if he is not a Kohein, and if she did not remarry in the interim. (Yes, I KNOW it’s just a story). Most leopards never change their spots. I doubt that Mishpacha is trying to glorify divorce. But even Hashem lets us know that a divorce may sometimes be necessary. We are not Catholics.

?? does not mean friend.

It comes from the root of “Rah”- bad. It refers to someone who sees all your bad, which is your wife. “

V’ahavta L’RAYACHA kamocha is also spelled with a reish and ayin. It means friend. What you say is a drash (and a good one, btw). What I said is based on pshat. Spouses are supposed to be each other’s loving friend.

I was taught a tefach’s worth (the size of your fist). I do not recall the source for it though. Sorry. I cover it entirely anyway.

Do you have a lease? If not, he can raise it any amount he wants, and you can opt to leave (as you already said you are). If you have a lease, he can do nothing at all. If he tries to evict you, you will be out long before the eviction could take place, and it will cost HIM. Do not withhold rent. That puts you in a legal bind. You can tell him to apply the money he took as security when you signed the lease, to the last month’s rent.

You need to be attracted. Attraction is very subjective. I have seen some really unattractive girls, whose chossonim thought they were gorgeous. Stop worrying so much about looks, and get to know a girl, who might be very attractive to YOU even if not to someone else.

They fired the designer immediately and expressed their outrage. Natalie Portman (a Jewish girl, btw) was to wear a Galliano design to the Academy Awards, but when she heard of his Amto-Semitic remarks, showed her contempt and support by refusing to wear the gown he made for her. Not that this is so crucial in the scheme of things, but this fool was shown the gate for his indiscreet mouthing off.